Santa, Help Us!

This is my Bad Parent confession. David and I have a serious problem. We try and try but our best efforts continue to fail.

Santa.

Before you continue reading this, please promise to never ever tell any of my children what you are about to see. At least wait until they're 18. I'm serious. Don't even hint at this around them. David and I try so hard to make this Santa thing work. This year, Denise agreed to take the kids for a couple hours while we went shopping. But where to put the gifts? David's SUV has an open back, all you have to do is turn around to see what's in the "trunk." As luck would have it, Mom had just finished using our luggage, so we stopped by their house and picked it up before taking the kids to Denise's. Then we put all our treasures inside the suitcases for the trip home. The kids never suspected anything. (I don't know why they didn't wonder where we were for four hours, but I guess they were so caught up in their fun with Aunt Neesy they never thought about us. Good.)

Now, where to hide the gifts after we wrap them? Oh, by the way, don't let them see the wrapping paper, right? So of course after the gifts were wrapped we put them back in David's car. But this time they wouldn't all fit in the suitcases so we just threw a blanket over everything. Just a few days to get to Christmas, should be fine.

No. No no no. Tonight we went out for dinner, but first David ran back inside to get something and when he came to the car, Shelly said, "Are you giving those presents to Santa?" Archer, who's been informed about the truth of Santa, tried to play along. But all he had was, "Yes." David announced he was trying to concentrate on driving and the conversation was over. As David and I stood in the kitchen tonight, him whispering to me what had happened, I laughed and cursed and said, "Let's just tell her. Let's just get it over with and give up on Santa. Too bad for E. We can't do it!" David didn't go along with my idea, but instead declared that all of the gifts would have to be re-wrapped with new paper. As I moaned about all the extra work, he reminded me that I hadn't done ANY work, he had done ALL of the wrapping. True.

(Let's go back a minute, Archer has been telling Shelly that there's no such thing as Santa. "The parents just buy the gifts and hide them under their bed, then they put them under the tree." Shelly's stubborn confidence in Santa caused her to completely blow him off, and after two or three of these conversations we had to tell Arch that he's right, but now he's on our team and needs to go along with it for Shelly's sake. And Elijah's.)

There was last year, or was it the year before? We put the roll of wrapping paper, left over after the gifts were done, behind the couch. The kids would NEVER be crawling around on the floor in that tiny space and notice the same wrapping paper that had been on their gifts, right? Ugh. "Santa had some paper left over, he asked us to hang onto it for him." Lame, I know.

There was a couple of years ago when my friend was helping me wrap gifts in the bedroom and Shelly walked in and spotted the doll house we'd gotten for her. She never mentioned it on Christmas, like, "Oh, its the one you were wrapping last week!" I thought maybe she was too young to have made the connection. Who knows.

We're bad parents when it comes to this Santa thing. Can't pull it off. And its starting to feel a lot like flat-out lying and I'm ready to give up on the whole thing. The kids will be excited for the presents either way, won't they? I mean, they're still getting stuff, wouldn't it be nice if they could say thanks to the people who gave them the gifts? Instead of the gifts just magically appearing from some guy they've never met?

Don't worry, David's pretty attached to giving the kids the Santa experience. So I'm sure we'll do it for a few more years. But we never seem to get it quite right. Just another one of those things to add to the "completely unable to do this right" list. Maybe by the time E is 10 we'll know what we're doing. Until then, wish us luck!

Celebration!

Hey guess what? Its almost Christmas! Over the last week or so I've been baking cookies and thinking about my mom baking cookies and I started feeling a little nostalgic, realizing I'm stepping into my mom's shoes and my kids are following right behind me. Only my mom's shoes are pretty big (in this analogy, of course, because her feet aren't very big) and I'm not sure I could ever fill them... Ok, back on track, here.

Today I called Mom and asked her if we could come over for supper, we'll bring food. She said not to bring food, bring the kids and come on over, so we did. And we had a celebration party! To celebrate family, and almost-Christmas, and cookies and playing and everything.

When we were driving up I thought about how Mom usually got out the sheet music and played songs for us when we were kids. Once a year my mom played the piano. Way back when we were little and celebrating Christmas at the Community Center in Argyle, and later on the electric keyboard at the kitchen table. And guess what? Tonight. She did it again, and I love that she did that, continued the tradition, and when the evening was almost over she plugged in that little keyboard, pulled out the music and gave us all sleigh bells to ring while we sang Jingle Bells. Mom and Dad have good voices, but I'm sure I was way off-key, and the kids were all over the place. Add some bells to the mix (E was hitting those bells as hard as he could while Shell delicately tapped each note) and it was quite the joyful noise!

There was a moment tonight when Mom and Dad were actually competing for time with the kids. You're taking them to the workshop? I needed them to help with the cookies! It all worked out, they spent time with Grandpa making wheels for a wooden car, and time with Grandma making and decorating sugar cookies. All the while, Elijah was eating chex mix and cookie dough and whatever else he could get his hands on. It was a laughing, shouting, awesome good time. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

Home Made Christmas

This year I'm going back to the long-abandoned Gruenberg tradition of Home Made Christmas. Yes we hated it as kids. The pressure. The paralyzing fear, what do I make for ___? I can't make anything. What do I do? Only ___ days and I haven't started it yet! There was always the last minute scramble, the declarations of "Stay out of my room!" and the frantic wrapping two hours before unwrapping-time. We did it for ten years. And then the kids got old enough to completely revolt and the tradition was gone. But this year, I find myself looking at crafty websites and blogs with recipes and brainstorming ideas for what to give our families. I told Mom and Dad that if the internet had been around when we were groing up (or at least in a state more like today) there would have been no excuse for not being able to think of what to make. There are a zillion ideas out there and a zillion more videos to show you how to do anything you can imagine. Despite the work and grumbling, the tradition produced many priceless treasures because we were forced to really think about what the other person liked, what we could do to create something they would enjoy without spending any money on the gift.

So this year I'm going back to that, not to produce some priceless gem, but at least spend a little more time thinking about how we can enjoy each other's company. And to break with tradition, I'm trying really hard to not wait until the day before Christmas to make the gifts. (Also, I'm spending money on supplies and parts, which wasn't allowed when we were kids.) So the kids and I spent all day today in the ___ making ___ and ___. I took lots of pictures to show how much fun we had and what a mess we made. But obviously I can't share now!

The best quote today comes courtesy of Archer. "Maybe we should stop thinking about others and start thinking more about ourselves. Wait! I mean..." He did get it straightened out. And then told me that he likes to help others. How's that for a gift?

Maybe if Dad sees this and emails me some pics from Christamases past I can add those here. :) Hint hint

The Best

One of the phrases often found on MOPS products is "Better Moms Make a Better World." Tonight Archer read that out loud and then said, "You can't be better, Mama. You're already the best mom in the world. Right?" Aww Arch. You're the best Archer in the world!

As a side note, tonight I bought three chickens from Aldi for the amazing low price of $0.69 per pound! As I was driving home and congratulating myself on this great find, I wondered if I was as excited about buying chicken as I was when I got my iPod many many years ago... Now that I'm a mom on a strict budget, a sale on meat gets my adrenaline going more than a cool new toy. Is that sad, or what?

What If...

What if you're making barbeque sauce from scratch, and at the very end you put it in the blender to puree the onions and garlic so its just a nice smooth sauce and then... What if the blender starts making a high-pitched noise and smoke comes out of the bottom? Obviously I turned it off and unplugged it right away, but can I ever use it again? Just wait for it to cool off (for a day or two), or do I have to throw it out? I guess I know what I want for Christmas this year. A blender that can withstand my Freezer Experiments.

Oh wait, you haven't heard? A Freezer Experiment... A little term that David and I use to describe a project in the kitchen that causes a big mess with doubtful results. As in, I'm trying a new recipe, making a big mess, and really not sure its going to be edible. The origins of this term go back to long long ago, maybe even before David and I had kids. Before we could comprehend how something like this was even possible. How could you leave a young child alone long enough for this to happen? We walked into Scott's house where Heidi was babysitting Nick and Christopher. Nick was... three? I don't know, little, but big enough to do some serious damage. He was mixing flour and whatever else he could find, and he called this concotion his Freezer Experiment. Heidi was in another room, unaware. The biggest problem with Nick's experiment was its location. The kitchen sink. What David and I didn't realize at the time was that Nick was actually washing the whole mess down the drain. And as we all know, large amounts of flour with a little (or a lot) of water cause a big, gooey, sticky BLOB. Inside the pipes. So when David and I brought this up recently at a family gathering, and we were laughing at the memory of cute little Nicholas making a big mess in the kitchen, Scott did not have such a fond memory. He, of course, was the one who had to deal with the aftermath. (For the record, I have since been educated on how that sort of thing could happen. I no longer think to myself, "I would never let my kid do THAT!" Because I probably already DID let my kid do that.)

So, back to the Freezer Experiment of the day. Barbeque sauce. A burned out blender. And the question... should I try using that same blender again? Or is it too much of a fire hazard now?

Run Run as Fast as You Can...

Yeah, you can probably catch me. I'm pretty slow. That didn't stop me from signing up for a bunch of runs and dragging my family along to stand in the cold waiting for me to come back to them. Thanks family, you're the best! My cheering section accompanied me, and the Fink team joined me as well and we ran around Milwaukee with a buch of other people dressed like Santa for today's 5K. I surprised myself and didn't have to walk, we finished in about 39 minutes.

Things to note in below pictures
- Don't Denise and Dan make such a cute couple?
- The kids are wearing Santa beards but not so much enjoying the picture
- Eli HATES hats, can you tell? But isn't he cute as a bug in a rug, all snuggled up in his stroller? I'm a little jealous, he's so cozy and warm while the rest of us freeze our fingertips off!

Last night we got to see our long lost relatives and have some great conversation. I love that Leah and I could compare notes on Momhood, and it was so fun to watch our kids playing together. To think that WE played together like that when we were little, now a whole generation later its happening all over again. And Grandpa Shorty got to be there, watching his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren enjoy each other's company. So awesome!

Singing and Dancing

Testing out the video feature of our camera...
Archer and Shelly Singing and Dancing

Weeknight Fun

Wind & Waves

Christmas Lights & Music

and Tingalayo (What?)

Yesterday was SO WINDY, winds at approximately 20 miles per hour with gusts up to 40. Whoa! What's the best thing to do on a day like this? Stay inside and watch the tree branches whipping around? Count how many garbage cans roll down the street? No. Go to the lake, of course. Mom and Dad came down and I took them on a tour along Lake Michigan, stopping at different points to see the waves crashing to shore. The water was brown with stirred up sand, and foamy white where it crashed down onto the beach and rocks. Amazing. Our first stop was at the Wind Point Lighthouse and when we got closer to the beach I spotted something I NEVER would have predicted. A person in the water. A crazy person surfing in the freezing cold water! Oh well, I shouldn't judge, it looked like he was dressed for the weather but it sure wouldn't be my idea of fun.

Later in the day I was wishing Archer and Shelly could have been with me to see the spectacular show of wind and water, but it would be dark by the time we could get back to the lake. No matter. I decided to try it anyway. When we got downtown and pulled into the gravel drive along the breakwater, we found other people with the same thought - park facing the water, as close as you can get to the rocks, and just watch. Wow! There was cheering, screaming, laughing, and a few, "I'm scared!!!" The water looked at times like it would come crashing down on our car, but we were just far enough away that it always fell in front of us. Within inches. Crazy! Who does that? I assured the kids were were safe in our cozy warm car and we stayed and watched the waves for almost an hour. Even though it had gotten dark we could still see the breathtaking foaming swells that flew up in front of us.

When the kids declared they were hungry we left, and as we came into our neighborhood we saw the music and light show was on in full force. So of course we stopped to watch and listen for a few songs. A neighbor has orchestrated a Christmas show to marvel at, with flashing lights programmed in time to Christmas music.

Finally, finally, we came home. Hot dogs for supper. (Yeah I know, not so healthy. But we did have carrots!) Followed by a hearty round of "Tingalayo." What, you've never heard of it? I challenge you to listen. But be warned, you'll have this song stuck in your head for days. Shelly learned it at school, so now we occasionally watch it online, and of course I pretended to be Tingalayo. With the kids taking turns riding on my back as I acted out the song. Run and jump? Sure. Dance? No problem. "Again, again!" I don't think so, two times around was enough for this Tingalayo!

Turkey Day Fun

Today I was in a race with a mob of runners, Mom and I ran the two mile while Dad, James and Danielle ran the 10k. James accidentally took a wrong turn and ran with the two milers, Danielle bailed on her 10k and came back early, and Dad was the only one to run the 10k. Mom and I ran most of our course together, splitting up only at the very end. David, E, Shell and Arch were our cheering section, and also in charge of event photography.

After that fun was over, we came back to our house for Thanksgiving lunch. No turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, just soup. And bread, fruit, cheese, spinach dip (2 kinds!), fresh homemade warm bread... Did I mention the warm apple cider? And hot out of the oven apple pie! Yum!!! We enjoyed the Packer game together, stuffed ourselves silly, and then parted ways. Just in time for a nap.

Snuggling on the couch after lunch

On to Uncle Todd's house! We were running a little late (like an hour late, sorry family!), but something surprised me as we pulled up to Todd's house. The Christmas tree was already on! Usually it comes on at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Were we really that late? Did we really miss the Tree Lighting? He turned it on early this year, it is just as beautiful as ever.

We enjoyed great food as usual, and then the conversation turned to Christmas. After all, the Tree Lighting signals the official beginning of the season, and we had some logistics to work out. Where? When? Who's buying the gifts for who? Time to draw names. As Heidi sat reciting kids' names (there are TEN now and I cannot be trusted to remember them ALL) she also snatched a couple of papers and wrote her name down. Then mine. And then chaos and protests sounded as the adults drew names and we tried to figure out the logistics of how many papers each grown up should have. Two? You have three kids? Then three papers. But Todd took two names, so how many should I get? And of course, the truth finally came out... Heidi? Amy? "It was Heidi's idea!" I tattled, not wanting to take the blame for the trick. "YOU put the names in the cup!" she cried back and we all checked our papers, sorted out who had the right number and who needed another, and again the families parted ways.

Its so simple, just cooking a meal and showing up to the same place to eat it together. But somehow that simple thing is the perfect recipe for cooking up laughter, good conversation and great memories. It was a little hectic with a really early start and not much down-time, but it was worth it. Worth every little hassle, worth crawling out of bed early and roaming around the city in the cold windy weather, worth the effort to cook and clean and everything else that comes with the holidays. So definitely worth it.

I love you all, Happy Thanksgiving!

Today

Today I am thankful for family, my parents and siblings, and also my own family that we're buiding, my husband and children. Each one of these people is a gift in my life. I am thankful for a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat and all my needs being met. And I'm thankful for the bountiful, uncountable blessings that God has showered upon me throughout my life.

But most of all I am thankful for His gift of life. The amazing, miraculous gift of salvation that He has shared with me, even though I don't deserve it, even though I could never earn it and never have a chance to pay it back. What would you do if someone you knew gave you a million dollars even though they knew you could never pay them back? Would you say thank you every day? Would you try to honor that person by using that gift to its fullest potential? Would you try to do nice things for that person, just to show how much you appreciate what they've done for you? What would you do?

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.

~ Psalm 105:1

Long Overdue

One Year Pics

Mmm doesn't it look yummy? Dive in already!

He dove into that cake, then had a bath, then no time for clothes, let's open some presents!

Ok, its kinda chilly in here. Let's get some jammies on.

What a happy One Year Old with his Daddy :)

My Coach

I've started running, trying to build up endurance to get a little further than just the mailbox and  back. (I also have a pathological belief that parents should always be able to outrun their children. Ask my dad about this. He was always faster than us.) Today Archer came with me on a 4.5 mile course, he rode his bike and I ran. And walked, and ran, and walked some more. I kept telling him he needs to be cheering me on, and along with his endless stream of chatter, he threw in some encouragement. It was a great distraction. At the end, he rode ahead of me, ran into our garage and ran back out with two orange cones. He ran down to the end of the driveway and placed the two cones on the street, directly in my path, my Finish Line. I raised my arms and cheered for myself as I crossed the line, high fives to my coach and we were all smiles as we bust into the house, our faces red from the wind but happy to have finished the race together.

Thanks Coach!

Imagine you're a chef. Or short order cook. Or even just a hamburger flipper at the local fast food place. Now imagine that nine out of ten hamburgers that you make are rejected, your customers turn up their noses and offer such insults as, "Eww that's GROSS!" "I'll NEVER eat that" and "You know I HATE that!" For some reason you never get fired from you job. Plus, bonus, you can't quit. Sounds like fun, right?

Motherhood (and fatherhood too) is the daily picture of perseverance through trial, discouragement, even pain. (The big revelation to me that the day I gave birth to my children is the BEGINNING of the pain they cause me, not the ONLY day they injure me was a tough one to swallow!) I have so much admiration and respect for mothers who go day in and day out without snapping at their kids, locking them up in a closet and eating a gallon of chocolate ice cream all by themselves. Way to go, all you great moms that I know! (No, I've never locked my kids in a closet. But I HAVE locked myself in my car to get five minutes peace away from them. It only lasted three minutes.)

Christmas is Here! (Almost)

When I picked up Shell and E from their classroom of chaos this morning, after the leaders' meeting for Mops, Shelly announced, "Its SNOWING!!" (Actually, she didn't so much announce it, as SCREAM it, for all the other moms to hear as they walked past.) "Its SNOWING!! That means ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!! I'm so excited!" (Picture her jumping up and down, hair flying, E completley bewildered at what's happening.) I had an impulse to tell her Christmas is still really far away, but I made a conscious choice. Quit being the serious one, Mom, and just go along with it, it doesn't hurt anything! On the way home I realized it actually IS almost Christmas. I mean, we haven't even gotten to Thanksgiving yet, but Christmas is only six weeks away. And its snowing! Who cares if its cold, who cares if there are more shoes, boots, jackets, mittens and hats than ever before to step over, toss out of the way, look for because they've gotten lost... Who cares? Its ALMOST CHRISTMAS for goodness sake!

Once again I marvel at a child's point of view and am reminded I would be much happier if I looked at the world her way. She loves Jesus, its snowing outside, Christmas is almost here. What else is there?

Elijah: 1 Year

Can you believe it? Me neither. ONE WHOLE YEAR! Just in the last week he's started saying "Ma" and he's gotten much more confident with his walking. Still not completely stable, but he's making great strides. (Plus now he's climbing. Nothing's going to stop him!)

What an amazing journey this last year has been. A new person in our family, new routines, schedules, new teaching. Archer and Shelly are like little parents, sometimes I hear them saying things to E that I say to them and its a double edged sword. Good, yes. But I hear those things I wish I hadn't said also coming out of their mouths. Ugh. Be careful, little ears are listening and little mouths are repeating! Archer actually babysits for us now sometimes on Saturday mornings. He watches E while I sleep in or do other stuff. As long as I stay out of the living room and Elijah doesn't see me, this works pretty well. And as long as I pay the babysitter well, he's willing to do it again.

I feel like I'm always obsessing about time. "Time goes so fast!" I'm always writing it on the blog, always thinking it. And at the little moments during my day, obsessing about how many minutes before I tell Arch to get his shoes on and send him out the door, how many minutes to get Shell's coat on, buckle everyone in, and take the two minute trip to the bus stop. Three hours till they come home. Five minutes till I start supper. "Two minutes to bedtime!" I call out.

I've had this question on my mind lately. How does God experience time? He is eternal, so somehow time doesn't exist for him. Or time exists, it passes but never runs out. He exists outside the limits of time (as we experience it) but is eternal which means He has all of it, probably holds it in his hand or something. What does God think of my fixation on the clock? My fear that time is passing me by too quickly and I'll miss something, my obsession about being on time and yet always being late. God is in control, surely. Does He ever go back... change it?

I digress. Elijah's birthday, the first anniversary of his birth, is truly a celebration in our family and as we go back, in our memories, to that day when he joined us, we celebrate and look forward to the many years ahead, the many fun times we'll have, the smiles we'll share. I look forward to seeing where we'll end up, but I'm enjoying the journey along the way!

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.
~ Eccl 3:14:15

Popcorn, Pie & Malt Shop

Welcome to the Fortier Five Popcorn Pie & Malt Shop!

Today on the way home from our latest adventure I started thinking up a grand scheme to keep the kids busy and maybe surprise David too. I started thinking out loud, sharing my plan with the kids. We'll have a pie shop. We'll make a pumpkin pie and when Dad comes home we'll invite him to have a piece of pie at our shop. We'll sell malts, too. And since the kids had popcorn on their minds, that was added to the list. The first hurdle was explaining to the kids that we're not really selling pies to anyone, we're not setting up at the end of our driveway as if we're opening a lemonade stand. The kids were actually shocked, I guess I somehow didn't clearly express the idea of a PRETEND pie shop. Once we worked that all out ("no, we don't have to worry about the people not being able to see the sign if we hang it up inside, no the people won't be coming in through the garage... there won't actually BE any people") the next hurdle was who has what jobs. And who gets to make the popcorn??? (They REALLY had popcorn on their minds.)

The kids worked on banners and decorations and I cooked up a menu, printed it off and hoped the four copies I printed would last long enough for David to see them when he got home. Then, grocery shopping. I looked through this week's paper to see which ingredients were on sale and found, guess what? Pumpkin pie was on sale. For $4.00. Last week I had called Grandma Marian to ask for her pumpkin pie recipe. She doesn't have it written down because... its on the Libby's Pumpkin Pie Filling can. Oh. Ok, anyway, at the moment when I realized I could purchase a whole pie for $4 and avoid the hassle of trying to find all the ingredients in the store, bring it home and make a huge mess in the kitchen, and then hope and pray the whole thing turned out, I was sold. $4 was SO worth avoiding all that other stuff!

So we went to the store. Guess what? When you let a four year old hold the pie while you're waiting to check out, can you guess what happens to that pie? Guess. Did you guess yet? You guessed right. She dropped it. And the pie didn't just fall out of her hands onto the ground, it somehow also fell OUT of the box and landed face down on the ground. In front of a million inquiring eyes, all the busy shoppers walking by and thinking to themselves, "I would never let MY four year old hold the pie. I would know better." Yes, you would know better, and I know better too. But I really thought it might be ok. Anyway, there I was, scooping pumpkin pie off the ground with my bare hands, and I sent Archer by himself to go find a new pie. He ran. Yes, judge now. "I would never let MY seven year old run off to the other end of the store by himself. I wouldn't let him RUN in a store." Whatever. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. He got the pie. We bought two pies and told the cashier to throw the mangled one away.

After coming home and getting groceries put away, having supper with Dad, then sending him to the bedroom to stay out of the way, we set up shop. Banner taped up, roles rehearsed, and menus in hand, the kids invited Dad out to their shop. Our hostess Shelly seated us, Waiter Joe (Archer chose a new name for the occassion) took our order and then minor chaos ensued when I left the table to plate the pie, make the malts, and send all the food out to the table. Success! Everyone enjoyed the pie and malts, and Dad happily settled up with hugs for the kids.

Thank you for visiting the Fortier Five Popcorn Pie & Malt Shop.

Come again!

Pumpkin Farms

Shell & Best Friend w/ Mrs. Miller

Last week I went with Shelly to Swan's pumpkin farm. Lots of fun, I got to meet Shell's best friend S and I even got to sit with them on the bus. And they let me talk to them. ;-) The kids of course had a great time.

Today Elijah, Shelly, Archer, and I went to Jerry Smith's pumpkin farm with some other moms and again we had a great time! This field trip was a little less structured than the trip last week. Last week we were herded from station to station, entertained, ushered on to the next spot, etc. Today the moms followed the kids and only very loosely directed where we were going next. Eventually we ended up at the playground and the moms sat on the outskirts while the kids ran, screamed, and generally acted like monkeys recently escaped from the zoo. Well-mannered, obedient monkeys, of course!

I'm really enjoying Mops (Moms Of Pre Schoolers) so far this year, and I look forward to the new friendships we'll form and memories we'll make with our kids in tow!

Sometimes... Kids can be so rude!

Me: That's a nice shirt, Shelly, where did you get that?
S: It was just hanging up. Did you have a shirt like this when YOU were little?
Me: I don't remember any of the clothes I had when I was a kid.
S: Its ok Mom, you don't HAVE to tell me.
(Its like she thinks I'm trying to keep a secret about my fashon choices when I was her age. Seriously. Do YOU remember what you wore when you were four?)

Earlier today...
S: Archer!! Mom's gained weight!
A: AGAIN???
S: Yeah! She can barely walk!

In defense of my children's rude behavior, we did play this little game last night...

Archer grabbed me around the waist and lifted up his feet off the ground, picture him hanging on me. I tried to walk, but could only take a step or two before I proclaimed, "Gosh I've gained SO MUCH WEIGHT! I just feel like its slowing me down, I can't even walk any more..." I went on and on about this extra weight I was carrying around. Which of course encouraged the other little weight in my life (Shelly) to join the fun and grab onto me, hanging on and trying to drag me down to the ground. This quickly went from a ride (hang on Mom while she tries to walk) to a challenge of strength, would they be able to topple me to the ground, make me losoe my balance and come crashing down on top of them? I'm happy to report that I won. But they're getting bigger and stronger every day, I'm sure it won't be long before they can join forces to overcome me!

In other news: Two days ago Elijah said "MA." And I cheered and shouted and said, "say it again say it again!!" Sometimes now he says... "MA" Probably not actually calling me. But you can bet I'm encouraging him with everything I've got!

The Garden is Where??

"I wish we could see the garden of Eden. Its in a hotel, I think. That's what he said. He did. I'm not lying."

I know the older brother is a figure of authority in her life but its bewildering to me how much authority she gives him, just because he's there. Just because he acts like he's in charge and acts like he knows everything. That's big shoes to fill, Arch, keep it up! :)

Sweet Time

Quality Time. What does that even mean? It sounds expensive. It sounds like you should check the seams, look for loose threads. Check the craftsmanship. Do the corners fit neatly together?

No, of course not, there are no perfect corners in this land, no garments without loose threads everywhere. In this land of family, parenting, learning and growing, there are loose ends all over the place. The corners never fit neatly together. Leaky faucets abound.

In this season of busier-than-ever schedules I've found little gems of time and I cherish each moment more than ever before. When Shelly is at Awana on Wednesday nights, Archer and I laugh and play and work on Cub Scout assignments. Sometimes we're a little frantic, trying to sign off as many pages as possible in the short time available. Sometimes we just think of silly things to tell each other and there's no plan. No structure. Is that quality time? It sounds so formal, but what we do is so easy, no work required.

On the mornings when Shelly has school I catch myself thinking, "This is your time with her, she won't be here later." And we do workbook pages, or she writes a grocery list in pictures for me, or we talk about her best friends and what happened at school. Because she'll be gone, I don't wait for later to listen to her stories. Because when they get home later they'll want to play with each other, I stop and listen more closely to what they're telling me now.

When the baby is snuggled in my arms in the middle of the night and I'm marvelling at the wonder of those tiny little hands that God created, and the next moment I'm wondering if he needs his nails trimmed. Shelly crawls onto the couch next to me and I listen to the sleeping sounds of my family, is that quality time? Or another sweet-as-honey moment to cherish?

Whoever came up with that word to describe all the moments in a day we share with those we love was too scientific, too rigid. Surely there is a better description. But one word could never capture it all.

Clearly, my cup is overflowing with blessings too abundant to count.

Typical Mom Morning

This morning I took Arch to the bus stop because its raining. On the short drive home I formulated a little fantasy about coming inside, laying down on the couch and going back to sleep while Shell and E played quietly together. That little fantasy ended the moment I walked in the door. As I was taking off my shoes I realized the bottoms of my pants were wet from walking outside, then I stepped in a cold puddle with my socks and David announced Shelly needed help in the bathroom. No time for changing wet socks or pants. As I gave her a bath, and then E, I noticed the bathroom floor was wet. Puddles everywhere. Front door, bathroom, bedroom. Baby spit up in my bed. My pants legs are still wet...

I've been thinking about how I'd be more efficient and accomplish more if I had a schedule. (I don't even know what I mean when I say "accomplish more," more what?) Then I start thinking about how there are so many variables that there's just no way to schedule most things. Laundry on Mondays. Mopping on Tuesdays. Whatever. I'm back in fantasy land. The minute I try to plan something like that, a kid gets the flu and we're doing laundry around the clock to disinfect everything. Too many variables. Puddles everywhere. Today's mopping day. And laundry. No naps for me, we've got work to do!

I'm only allowed to go IF...

When Archer had his first field trip, I remember sitting in the boss's office asking for a day off. I remember saying, "I know there will be many more, but..." He's a nice guy, he let me off. Archer was thrilled that I was coming with his class to the pumpkin farm.

Archer's First Field Trip

When the permission slip came home for Shelly's first field trip I was SUPER excited for her. I asked her if I could come with, thinking she would GLADLY invite me along. "No!" Pleeeaassseee? I begged pitifully. Finally she agreed to let me come. On one condition. That I don't talk to her or bother her. Sigh. I guess I'll just tag along behind, I'll be quiet and try not to bother my grown up daughter as she strikes out on her first field trip. (Why am I having flashes of parents following their kids around on college campuses, as high school seniors decide where they're going to be spending the next four years of their lives? Slow down, time!)

Just an Excuse

I'm beginning to think that our cooking days are just a poorly disguised excuse to get together and eat cookies for breakfast. I mean, there's cooking going on, but it hardly seems to be the point anymore. And I'm ok with that.

Our Cooking Days started when I was pregnant with Arch and wanted to prepare by having some meals in the freezer. So I called my mom and sister together, we cooked up a storm and all went home with chicken pot pies and other things to stock our freezers. It was so much fun that ever since then, once or twice a year, we have a cooking day. Yesterday Denise made an apple pie and shared only the blissful aroma that filled up the house. She took the WHOLE PIE home with her and didn't share any with us. Oh well. She forgot her recipe on my counter, I'm thinking of holding it hostage till she promises to make a pie for me.

Mom made Tater Tot Casserole and (in the true spirit of Cooking Day) shared one each with Denise and me.

I made Turkey Breakfast Sausages and half of them were eaten before my family left. So much for stocking up. We also made cookies, pita bread, and... Was that it? Well anyway, the real point of the day wasn't stocking our freezers. It was hanging out together, laughing, sharing stories, chasing the kids around the house. And eating cookies. By noon we were all starving and I warmed up some potato soup, we stuffed our tummies full and everyone dispersed, back to their own houses. I love you girls, thanks for coming over. And thanks Dad for being our photographer and technical support specialist for the day!

all photos by Dad

Can you believe Denise had the nerve to show up in the exact same outfit that I was wearing? Seriously, we didn't plan it. I know you don't believe me. But we didn't!

Because...

Because the house felt like it might be approaching a state of order and organization (and we don't want THAT to last too long!). Because we had three hours till bedtime and no definite plans in sight, and the kids were starting to bicker. Because the kids have been asking for MONTHS if we can set up the tent and I keep repeating the same answer, "Maybe sometime. Not today." Because I had a little extra energy and...

Most importantly, because I pray that the Lord shows me the most urgent needs to be met, the most important things to accomplish today. And that He gives me the energy to do those things. And I had this thought cross my mind, "Let's do the tent now." Now. I went and got it. Set it up. (That's half the adventure, isn't it?) Had the kids vacuum the sand and leaves out of it. (That's the next half of the adventure...) And now all three are playing happily.

The game started as tigers in a zoo, and keeps evolving and changing, a new game every five minutes and lots of laughing and squealing. And another memory or two of, "Remember that one time when we set up the tent in the living room?"

Because setting up a tent in my living room was the most important thing to do at that very moment, not fold laundry (believe me there's plenty of it!), dishes (plenty of those too!), or anything else. Because the most important thing Right Now is playing with my children.

Archer's Turn

Now, Archer's turn for a funny story.

Arch sat at the table working on homework, but he kept covering his face and moaning, "That SMELL! I can't concentrate because of that SMELL!" He often says he can't concentrate because ____ (there are a thousand reasons), so I didn't take him too seriously. I said, Well, I cleaned the oven today, and I'm making chicken stock, so maybe you smell one of those things. "No, it smells like DIRTY SOCKS" he informed me. It was strange that the chicken or the oven would smell like socks, but I let it go. Why argue.

A few minutes later he needed some help with his worksheet and I walked over to him and walked into an awful cloud of BAD SMELL. You know in cartoons how they picture the aroma around a skunk as a green cloud? Yeah, that's what I walked into when I got to Archer. Bad. And it smelled like Really. Dirty. Socks. I looked at him, I looked at his clean-looking feet, and I said, "Archer, please don't get upset, but I think its your socks that smell bad." He didn't believe me, until he put his feet up to his nose. And nearly passed out. "EWWW!!! I can't believe its MY socks that smell that bad!" We had a good laugh about it, and I was relieved he wasn't mad (it can so easily go either way), he removed the offensive socks and we continued on with the homework. Laughing all the way.

My Great Cooking Skills

Shelly walked in the door after school today and said, "Are you cooking supper now?" No. "Oh. Then why do I smell smoke?" The sad thing is, she's not so far off. The oven smokes really bad, it needs to be cleaned, and when I cook a chicken the entire house fills up with smoke. I "self cleaned" it today, so hopefully I can get it actually cleaned and it won't smoke anymore. For a little while, anyway. Till my next experiment in the kitchen.

For another commentary on my cooking...

"Mom, please pass the bowl of grease." Trying so hard not to laugh... Shelly, did you mean gravy? "Oh yeah. Gravy please!" David and I chuckled over that the entire evening, but we really tried not to let her see us laugh, she hates thinking we're laughing at her. Maybe I need to take cooking classes or something. I mean, a little smoke in the house is one thing, but serving my family bowls of grease? Where do I sign up for some lessons?

Attitude Check

I've been struggling a bit lately, I'm tired of hearing the baby cry, tired of being interrupted by ANOTHER request for snacks, juice, help buttoning pants, putting on socks... HELLO Amy, this is MOTHERHOOD. I was getting pretty annoyed with everything and through a series of small little reminders, the Lord showed me how selfish I've been. Oh how selfish I was being, "can't they just leave me alone for five minutes?" has been turned around. "What can I do to show them how much I love them at this moment?" Elijah has gotten so much better about letting other people hold him, Mom and Dad had him for several hours yesterday and he didn't cry for them at all. Today we had a party for Mom's retirement and I hardly held him, he was content in other people's arms. And other people were kind enough to relieve me, take him for me so I could play with Archer and Shelly in the water. It was what I needed, a little break from constantly tending E so I could play with the older two, and the Lord provided it. And somehow, in that break, in discussions with people in my family, in an article so queitly placed in my in-box about mothering, I realized how backwards I've been and the need to turn around. Get my attitude headed in the right direction.

I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain.
~Psalm 3:4

Peter Walks on Water

This is the story I've been thinking about lately. Jesus walking on water, and Peter coming out to meet him. On the water. (Read it here.)

Picture Credit

Peter sees Jesus and goes out to meet him on the water. But when he looked around he became afraid of what he saw and started to sink. Oh Peter, how I can relate. I'm trying so hard to keep my eyes on the Lord, I know He's the only way I can get through this season in our lives, and yet I find myself faltering. I look around, and suddenly I feel like I'm up to my nose, drowning in a stormy sea that has no regard for small me, just trying to stay afloat. My circumstances aren't bad, in fact, they're really good. I absolutely cannot complain. We're blessed beyond measure. But I feel like I'm drowning in the busy every day details, there's just no time for everything that needs to be done and so I limp along, trying to keep up. I look around at the long list of scheduled events and chores to do and I start drowning in anxiety of "what next? what now?" And I cry out. "God I CAN. NOT. do this!" Which is the point. Of course I can't. He can. I can't walk without him, and every time I start to sink I'm reminded that I need to keep my eyes on him, not the messy details around me. "Please, Lord, fill in the gaps!" I keep asking. The gap of not enough time, not enough energy, not enough attention for each kid.

I have this idea that if I was more organized, more efficient, more cheerful, our family would be perfect. Duh! How many times do I have to hear from the Lord, or look around and start to sink, before I let go of those ideas? Quit trying to do it all. Without him its nothing.

My favorite part of this story is in verse 31. "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him." He didn't stand in front of him saying, "I told you so." He grabbed him. Right away. Oh Lord, thank you for your unending mercy and thank you for catching me, right away, when I cry out! You are awesome.

******

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”


Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

~ Matthew 14:29-33

Elijah: 10 Months

Guess who's ten? Ten months, of course. He's crawling around like crazy, look out world! He's into the plants and dirt CONSTANTLY. How many times does he need to dump dirt on the carpet before we just get rid of the plants? We haven't quite reqched the limit yet, the plants are still here. We waited SOOOO LOOOONG for the other two to get old enough to re-introduce houseplants to our home, we're not quite willing to give them up again. But I'm getting sick of vacuuming the carpet two or three or five times a day. Its really sweet when Archer helps out, I always congratulate him for taking the initiative.

He's walking along the furniture, and today he stood up without holding onto anything for the very first time. For like ten seconds or something. A month or two from now that will be nothing, he'll be running! Take your time, though, baby, we don't need more emergency room visits. Both of the older ones had stitches by this point. Let's just slow down, no need to rush to the ER. And yet, I'm surprised he's not walking, he tries so hard to keep up with older brother and sister, and its the worst insult when they ignore him and go off to another room, just when he finally caought up with them. Then they have the nerve to shut the door! He just sits on the other side and cries. The injustice! Soon enough, E, you'll be able to open the door. Then they'll have nowhere to hide!

Kickball with the Cousins

Archer has claimed that he doesn't know how to play kickball, even though they've played it in gym class. I guess they only played it once or something, so he doesn't remember. So I told him I'd teach him. Well, that's just two people, its tough to play with only two. Plus Shelly, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't be interested. Plus the baby. So we waited until the weekend, when we'd have Dad, one more. That brings us up to, um... Five? But only three who would play. Good news!! Cousins got wind of our plan and came to join us! That's Austin, Alex, plus their mom, so now we're up to six players. We invited more. Brock, Annika, and their mom. Two more players. Following all the math? Three moms, one dad, one baby, two kids who didn't play and four kids who played. We found a ball diamond with a playground nearby and... wait. There's goose poo all over the diamond. Play in the grass instead? No, that's worse than the diamond. So we put cones out on the cleanest part of the diamond, tried to run around the poo, and pretended that the ball wasn't covered in the stuff as we played. What fun! Whew it was a lot of running, shouting, cheering and F.U.N.! Archer's goal of playing every position was achieved, there were lots of home runs, lots of outs, and when we were all done, ice cream.

Management

When I was working, I used to tell people that my favorite part of the job was that it was never the same, every day was different. Things were always changing, and there was always something new to learn or some new puzzle to solve. If ever there was a job that fit the "always changing" description, it would be parenting.

I cannot think of another job which offers no training before immediately requiring that you manage other people and train them to become what you are. In this case, a responsible adult. We are attempting to train up three people in the hopes that they will become responsible grown-ups, but I have no experience in management in this field. Especially management of three people who when they first arrive don't speak my language, can't remember directions and don't even know enough to do what they're told just because I'm the manager and I said so.

Simple tasks have to be broken into even easier segments and doled out in tiny increments. Imagine hiring someone to be your secretary, and when you needed them to make a phone call you first had to say, "Go get the phone. Great! Now dial this number. No, that's not a 3, that's a 2. Dial 3... Ok good job! Now when the person on the other end says 'hello' then you say 'hello' back. Fantastic! I'm so proud!" This is what parents do. They manage the kids and try to teach them life skills. "When you take a shower, don't forget..." Who knew taking a shower could be so complicated? How can he be in there for 25 minutes and still not get his face clean? How can she be surprised that when she takes a bath her face might get wet? She's taken a bath HOW many times in her life? Still she's surprised?

For some reason you have to spend thousands of dollars and four years of your life to earn a degree that gives you the skills to manage other adults. But the much more complicated task of managing someone else's entire life from the moment it starts requires no prerequisites. Almost anyone can take this job without test taking, graduating, inverviewing, and being offered a position. You just decide. And the next thing you know, you've gotten yourself into the hardest job this planet has to offer. But the best one, too.

One Gone, Six to Go

Good News!


I just spent about 45 minutes polishing the side of my car. I used to have seven mountains etched into the paint… Only six more to go…

I’ll be happy to polish by hand anyone’s car that has been damaged by one of my children using a rock to etch a mural, family portrait, etc. Feel free to give me a call to sign up for my free services. 

Restrictions Apply: You have to prove it was MY kid, good luck because they’re really stealthy. And I’ll only do it during nice weather. So sign up now before it gets cold out!!

PS – I tried to take a picture but now my car is so shiny that it looked like I was taking a picture of myself. And you really don’t need a picture of me...

Today's Gods

There are these modern day religions that my kids are hearing about everywhere they turn. The rest of us are hearing about them too, and though I don't think we really think of them as "gods," they're getting into our heads the same way that the idols of ancient Israel infiltrated their lives and I'm not liking it. First, there's the Exercise God. If we all just worship it, think about it all the time and try to serve it, our lives will be better. Bike instead of drive a car, you'll be healthier and happier. Then there's the Ecofriendly God. If we bike instead of driving a car we'll be more environmentally friendly. Plus we'll be happier. And we'll be "doing the right thing." I'm SO TIRED of it.

I reached my limit yesterday when a neighborhood kid showed up and asked Archer if he could ride his bike around the block with her. She looked at me and said, "I'm getting my exercise." She's EIGHT! YUCK! When I was eight bike riding was about FUN. I didn't start thinking about "exercise" until I was at least in high school, and even then, biking wasn't about exercise, it was for getting to work (before I could drive) or spending time with friends and family (fun).

I had a conversation with Archer once while we were driving somewhere and he was telling me about how bad it is to drive a car, how it hurts the planet and we shouldn't be driving so much. He was in kindergarden at the time. While I understand that he was just repeating what he'd heard from school or his "educational" cartoons, I got kind of mad at him about it. I wanted to say, "If you don't like riding in my car then go ahead and walk. I'll wait for you when I get there."

I find these modern day gods showing up in the little places in our lives, often put there by television or public school, and my first reaction is to try to shelter my kids from the world. But after a few years of this I've learned, there's no sheltering completely, they'll hear it all eventually. So its my job to frame it for what it is, teach them the truth, and try to just let it go when I feel my blood pressure starting to rise in yet another discussion with Archer about why we shouldn't be driving my little car around town.

Spider Killer

Something's changed recently, I'm not sure why but now Archer kills bugs when he sees them crawling around in the house. This is the same kid who would run screaming at the thought of a bug. He now tells his sister to go get a shoe, he kills it and then a discussion ensues...

Arch: I killed it, you have to clean it up.
Shell: Its really yucky. For real.
Arch: I did something, now you do something, you have to clean it up. For real.
Shell: Its too yucky, you clean it up.
Arch: If you don't do it I'm going to ask Mom to do it. (What a threat!) Mom? Mom? Can you please clean it up?

Mom: You're becoming quite a man, Archer. Thanks for killing the spider!

Girls Day Out (and Two Boys)

Today my mom, sister, and aunt treated me to a wonderful trip to Elegant Farmer. Oh it was so sweet, time with people I love, time in the sun in God's beautiful creation. Sometimes there are glimpses of Eden, what God intended our home to be. Sometimes there are glimpses of Heaven, where we will be in wonderful fellowship with one another in the presence of our Creator. Something so simple as a day trip to an apple orchard wouldn't seem to be such an amazing event. But it was today. We just hung out. I loved it. The kids had a great time, we went home to Mom and Dad's and enjoyed more time together before we all went on our way again, splitting up, back to our husbands and homes. Left with cherished memories of a few hours together.


Archer, Aunt Niecey, Aunt Patti, Shelly, Grandma Shell, Elijah, and me!
What a crowd!



This year's pictures courtesy of Denise, thank you :)

We've been there before, way back in 2008... Look how little they were!

Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?

~ C.S. Lewis

Rushing Along

So here we are racing along, the train rushing along the tracks just trying to get to the next stop on schedule. (What's the next stop? I can't even keep track anymore.) The conductor (that's me, the mom/conductor/co-pilot in this family of ours) thinks that everything's going just great. Every once in awhile there's a rock on the track that gets kicked up as we rush along and we have some minor discipline issue, or small meltdown, or whatever. But mostly things are fine, right? Then one of the kids says something that feels like a grenade tossed onto the tracks from out of nowhere. BAM! Screech to a halt! Derailed! Did he SERIOUSLY just say that? Did my son really just tell me, "Every day is a bad day." Fail. This is not what I ever imagined hearing from my child. He said some other stuff too, but I'm not going to write that here. My heart nearly stopped, or broke, it ached. I pulled the car over, climbed into the back seat and gave him a hug. How could I have NOT seen this coming? We're rushing along too fast. Its fun to drive fast but too fast and things start getting scary. Oh Arch, let's slow down and spend some moments together laughing. Let's stop trying to rush out the door to the next event. Let's stop pushing to get so much accomplished and let's just be silly together. Let's stop thinking about all the stuff you need to learn and just be kids. I wish I could tell you how much I hate homework, how it would be so much better to be playing than learning factors or spelling or punctuation. I wish I could tell you my struggles in this journey we're on and have you know we're in this together. You're not alone.

Other fun stuff from our weekend...

Ryan, I mean Archer, stumbles on his way to home base

Archer and I played baseball and as he was rounding the bases (just generally running around in the grass with not a single base in sight) he went down and I tagged him while shouting, "Oh he's down!! He's OUTA HERE!" I fended off a meltdown by telling him its just like what happened to Ryan Braun the other day. "Archer, you're just like Ryan Braun, he rounded third base and tripped and was tagged out!" Archer's response... "Really?" He was ok with me comparing him to a major league player. And then he said, and here's the stretch, get ready for it. "I AM Ryan Braun!" I laughed and we played a few more minutes before I had to get back to cleaning the garage.

We enjoyed a pot luck picnic at church to welcome our new head pastor. I was happy that our kids know other kids that they can play with at events like that. I was so comforted when Shelly couldn't find us and she was able to find another adult that she knew who would keep her close until we were found. Church family is awesome.

David and I made another batch of salsa after the kids went to bed one evening. I know the kids would have loved to help but I have to say, it was fun for it to be just between David and me. I love working with him on projects, each adding our parts and laughing together along the way.
I think we did a million other things but I don't even remember them now. I just know it was good. Smiles all around. I sometimes wonder how much of all this our kids will remember when they're grown up. But guess what? It doesn't really matter, does it? What matters is that they know we love them, we're teaching them to love God and each other, and that's what counts.

Camping Weekend

I told the kids this would be a special Labor Day weekend, we'd do camping activities. Not actually go anywhere, just pretend that we were camping and so...

Campfire. Followed by rain, just as we were opening up the marshmallows and chocolate for smores. Good thing we weren't really camping, we moved inside and warmed up the marshmallows in the microwave. Can't do that in the great outdoors! This was followed by another not-outdoors activity, movie night and a sleepover in the living room instead of beds.

Today we went for a walk in the woods, just long enough to satisfy the kids but short enough to avoid any other problems. Such as injury, bug bites, fatigue, boredom. Ha! Injury follows us everywhere. Our walk was on church property, two days in a row at church, plus three kids, equals four injuries. And that's the math lesson for the day!