Art in Action

These kids of mine, I don't know where they get their ideas but its incredible to watch what sprouts out of their creativity.

Shelly lost a tooth at school and brought it home in a little plastic box shaped like a tooth. The Tooth Fairy seems to be always running behind at our house, she didn't pick up Shelly's tooth the first night. Shelly spent a long time writing a note and asking me how to spell things. (Mom, how do you spell tooth? How do you spell please?) This all resulted in a beautiful note not from Shelly, but from Shelly's tooth.

Of course the Tooth Fairy could not ignore this plea, and made an exception to the rule, the rule of trading teeth for money.

Shelly, and Summer too, were so VERY excited when Shelly discovered on her pillow the note with Summer still attached, the new note from Ms. Fairy, and money! Shelly came running to me with her treasures and explained the whole thing. She ran to Dad to read Ms. Fairy's note to him. And then... Then Shelly says, "I wonder if I could be pen pals with the Tooth Fairy." I guess we'll have to wait and see how that plays out.

While Shelly was writing her note to Ms. Fairy, Elijah caught the creativity bug and asked if he could paint. He brought out the water colors and set to work. He brought his finished painting to me and asked me if I knew what it said. "I love you like the rainbow," I read to him. "Yets!" He said to me, very pleased that I could read it.

He came back with another and read it to me, "I love Mom and Dad and everybody in this world that I know."

Elijah sings this song in a quiet voice, I can barely hear him but he persists, the song long and drawn out, sweet and telling. "I love mom and dad... I like you... I want to go to the beach.... I really want to go on a train, oh I really want to go on a train, to the, to the beach...."

And while we're talking about E, I had the best conversation with him the other day. We recently received some postcards from Aunt Niecy in sunny Florida. I suggested to E that he send one of his paintings to his cousin Lulu and he frowned a little. He didn't think that was such a good idea. She's pretty little, and what if she ruins it? He started to dictate a letter to me in his most serious, grown-up voice. "Dear Yuyu. Here is a painting I made, but just don't yune (ruin) it." I told him I didn't think she'd ruin it on purpose, but he still wasn't sure about sharing his art with her. "You could send it to Nana," I suggested. He brightened up, "Yeah, cause her don't have babies!" This would guarantee that it wouldn't get ruined. "No, but she used to have babies. Do you know who her babies were?" This completely puzzled him, of course, and then I said, "Grandpa Craig used to be Nana's baby." His eyes grew wide, "That bampa is MY bampa!" I love those moments when the kids make connections and you can see the light go on in their eyes as they suddenly understand something new that wasn't there before.

Shelly's Seven!

We did something this year that we’ve never attempted before. Its surprising, considering we’ve been parents for almost ten years, and this is an American cultural standard that our kids have been exposed to beginning way back at four and five years old. The Birthday Party with Friends. We’ve avoided it, passed it up, and this year we’ve finally succumbed.

 We held a birthday party for Shelly’s big Seven. Two cousins, ten friends, and lots of screeching girls… One dad said to me, “I feel sorry for you” as he closed the door behind him. I just smiled and let him know we were going to have lots of fun. And secretly inside I was completely intimidated by the mob of little girls circling around me. Are we going to have fun? Will they tell their parents it was a good time? Grandma Sue and Aunt Niecy came to help and I kept asking Denise, is it going ok? I guess it went ok.

We were inspired by Laura Ingalls Wilder and came up with crafts and games in the spirit of Laura in her Little House. The girls made rag dolls, lavender sachets, button necklaces, wooden tops, butter, and shopped at the General Store. The boys were in charge of the store, taking pennies from the girls and dishing out giant pickles, marbles, paper dolls and countless pounds of candy.

In the end, when it was all over, I felt like I had planned a wedding, all timed out and choreographed. I knew that David and I couldn’t have done it without all the help we got from Grandma and Aunt Niecy. There were no major injuries, no home-wrecking catastrophes (only bits of rock candy everywhere that we had to pick up for days afterwards), and the girls left with their goodies and smiles on their faces. Best of all, Shelly said she had a good time. She thanked us a thousand times. And hopefully she’ll remember the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER for a few years to come.

Night Out

While David and I were out dancing the night away, I got this message from Aunt Niecy:

Picked up thee three hooligans on the side of the road, don't worry, I booked em

And these pictures...

We retrieved the kids from Bampa Bampa Howt later for the full report of their antics through the neighborhood. Now we're on our way home, where we'll all crash for at least 12 hours and I'll get to sleep in late tomorrow. (I can hope for sleep, anyway!)

Visiting Vacationers

I have a lot of pictures that I want to share, but getting them off the camera, onto the computer, picking my favorites... too much work right now, too late at night.

Anyway, let's just day the last two days have been exactly what "summer vacation" is all about for the kids. (And the moms just try to keep up.) Leah brought her clan to town for a visit!! SO GREAT!! Monday was all about pool time. That was it, and that was more than enough. All of the typical stuff happened - "Mom watch this!" and "Walk don't run!" and "Stop splashing the little kids" and you get the idea. We were all wrinkly by the time we got out, completely exhausted and that was so much fun!

Tuesday was all about cramming in as many activities as possible into one short summer day. Zoo (birds attacking Leah), beach (just the sand, not allowed in the water), Sugar Shack (cause kids can never have too much sugar!!), playground, mad dash back to HC for supper with Denise and Lulu, and somehow there was more pool time squeezed in there too.

Thousands of thanks to Mam-aw and Bampa for hosting the party and feeding us all, you guys are such great sports!

P.S. Leah, you were such a great sport about feeding those birds! Even though they came uninvited and landed on your back when you wanted nothing to do with them. Just think, Hailey will only remember the part about how cool you were when you took her to feed the birds. :)

Stargazing & Building Blocks

Today I took the kids up to Bampa Bampa Howt in HC, we met Denise and Lulu there and played in the water for a bit, E said "An Nee-tee WAT!" about a hundred times. Archer said "Mom WATCH!" a hundred and two times. Shelly played with Lulu, and Lulu clapped her hands and splashed the water around. Then, the Big Discussion ensued. Are we going for a run? Who's coming? Who's biking? Do we have helmets?

Eventually everyone found their shoes (except the littlest two) and we gathered in the driveway... wandered out to the street... took off! Archer pulled E in the bike trailer, Shelly peddled alongside Arch. Aunt Nee-tee pushed a stroller and the rest of us (that's Bampaw, Mamaw, and Mom/me) just jogged. And chatted, and listened to the kids' chatter. It was a great run, we hardly noticed the two and a half miles that passed. The whole afternoon was all so casual, so relaxed and so enjoyable.

Tonight, well after bedtime, I was taking the garbage out to the street and paused to look up. The stars, shining faithfully down on us, so clear and bright tonight. And its not too hot or too cold, and I had noticed that Archer was still awake on the couch. I went in and told him to wrap up in his blanket and come with me. "Why?" he asked me at least five times, but I just told him to come with me. We went out and I laid down on my back on the driveway. He laid down with his head on my tummy and we talked. We talked about stars and airplanes. I asked Archer, do you think, twenty years from now when you're twenty eight, I mean twenty nine... Do you think you'll remember tonight? "Um... maybe not." Yeah, maybe not, but maybe yes.

Its so easy to let the opportunities slip by. This afternoon, I considered calling Denise to cancel the thing in HC, I was soooo tired and so behind on everything. But I didn't want to miss seeing her and catching up. Tonight it would have been fine to notice the stars and come back in, kiss Arch goodnight one more time, and go to bed. It was better not to cancel, even though I was a little tired. It was better to sneak Archer out of the house at the end of the day for a few minutes just the two of us. I'm so glad I didn't let the To Do list get in the way of building up the relationships with people I love. Even if we don't remember all the exact details of what happened today, they're more building blocks in the foundation of our relationship together, and those blocks are priceless.

Thanks for the picture Bampa!

 

Run Run as Fast as You Can...

Yeah, you can probably catch me. I'm pretty slow. That didn't stop me from signing up for a bunch of runs and dragging my family along to stand in the cold waiting for me to come back to them. Thanks family, you're the best! My cheering section accompanied me, and the Fink team joined me as well and we ran around Milwaukee with a buch of other people dressed like Santa for today's 5K. I surprised myself and didn't have to walk, we finished in about 39 minutes.

Things to note in below pictures
- Don't Denise and Dan make such a cute couple?
- The kids are wearing Santa beards but not so much enjoying the picture
- Eli HATES hats, can you tell? But isn't he cute as a bug in a rug, all snuggled up in his stroller? I'm a little jealous, he's so cozy and warm while the rest of us freeze our fingertips off!

Last night we got to see our long lost relatives and have some great conversation. I love that Leah and I could compare notes on Momhood, and it was so fun to watch our kids playing together. To think that WE played together like that when we were little, now a whole generation later its happening all over again. And Grandpa Shorty got to be there, watching his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren enjoy each other's company. So awesome!

Just an Excuse

I'm beginning to think that our cooking days are just a poorly disguised excuse to get together and eat cookies for breakfast. I mean, there's cooking going on, but it hardly seems to be the point anymore. And I'm ok with that.

Our Cooking Days started when I was pregnant with Arch and wanted to prepare by having some meals in the freezer. So I called my mom and sister together, we cooked up a storm and all went home with chicken pot pies and other things to stock our freezers. It was so much fun that ever since then, once or twice a year, we have a cooking day. Yesterday Denise made an apple pie and shared only the blissful aroma that filled up the house. She took the WHOLE PIE home with her and didn't share any with us. Oh well. She forgot her recipe on my counter, I'm thinking of holding it hostage till she promises to make a pie for me.

Mom made Tater Tot Casserole and (in the true spirit of Cooking Day) shared one each with Denise and me.

I made Turkey Breakfast Sausages and half of them were eaten before my family left. So much for stocking up. We also made cookies, pita bread, and... Was that it? Well anyway, the real point of the day wasn't stocking our freezers. It was hanging out together, laughing, sharing stories, chasing the kids around the house. And eating cookies. By noon we were all starving and I warmed up some potato soup, we stuffed our tummies full and everyone dispersed, back to their own houses. I love you girls, thanks for coming over. And thanks Dad for being our photographer and technical support specialist for the day!

all photos by Dad

Can you believe Denise had the nerve to show up in the exact same outfit that I was wearing? Seriously, we didn't plan it. I know you don't believe me. But we didn't!

Attitude Check

I've been struggling a bit lately, I'm tired of hearing the baby cry, tired of being interrupted by ANOTHER request for snacks, juice, help buttoning pants, putting on socks... HELLO Amy, this is MOTHERHOOD. I was getting pretty annoyed with everything and through a series of small little reminders, the Lord showed me how selfish I've been. Oh how selfish I was being, "can't they just leave me alone for five minutes?" has been turned around. "What can I do to show them how much I love them at this moment?" Elijah has gotten so much better about letting other people hold him, Mom and Dad had him for several hours yesterday and he didn't cry for them at all. Today we had a party for Mom's retirement and I hardly held him, he was content in other people's arms. And other people were kind enough to relieve me, take him for me so I could play with Archer and Shelly in the water. It was what I needed, a little break from constantly tending E so I could play with the older two, and the Lord provided it. And somehow, in that break, in discussions with people in my family, in an article so queitly placed in my in-box about mothering, I realized how backwards I've been and the need to turn around. Get my attitude headed in the right direction.

I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain.
~Psalm 3:4

Girls Day Out (and Two Boys)

Today my mom, sister, and aunt treated me to a wonderful trip to Elegant Farmer. Oh it was so sweet, time with people I love, time in the sun in God's beautiful creation. Sometimes there are glimpses of Eden, what God intended our home to be. Sometimes there are glimpses of Heaven, where we will be in wonderful fellowship with one another in the presence of our Creator. Something so simple as a day trip to an apple orchard wouldn't seem to be such an amazing event. But it was today. We just hung out. I loved it. The kids had a great time, we went home to Mom and Dad's and enjoyed more time together before we all went on our way again, splitting up, back to our husbands and homes. Left with cherished memories of a few hours together.


Archer, Aunt Niecey, Aunt Patti, Shelly, Grandma Shell, Elijah, and me!
What a crowd!



This year's pictures courtesy of Denise, thank you :)

We've been there before, way back in 2008... Look how little they were!

Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?

~ C.S. Lewis

Less Than Three Weeks

photo by Fink Studios

"Denise, I just can't believe that I am going to put my little girl on a bus, all alone, and send her into the world all by herself..."

Denise's reply? "Amy, those are the EXACT SAME words you said to me when Archer was about to go to school. 'I can't believe I'm going to put my little boy on a bus...'" (Denise is right, I did say it.)

Shelly's ready, right? I guess so. But I also wonder if that's just what we keep telling ourselves to make it ok that we're sending our little children off without their moms and dads to hold their hands, protect them, teach them about the big bad world. We, the parents, are telling ourselves that, because our society keeps telling us that. "In Japan, they send their kids to school starting at age three. They go to school six days a week for 18 hours a day." (Ok, some of that might not be true, but I'm pretty sure some of it IS true.) Anyway, who CARES what Japan does? Shouldn't I be thinking NOT about what Japan does, or my society, my neighbor, but what's best for MY OWN KID? All I can think to do at this point is pray. Lord, please protect her. Lord, if you want me to keep her home, show me, change my heart, make it clear. In the mean time, please protect her, bring her safely home to me each day. My job as her mother is to protect her. Not send her away. But we're on this track, the train keeps rolling forward, and for now its heading towards 4K for Shelly, arrival time three weeks away.

Birthday #7

This is Archer's seventh birthday. Oh what a journey we're on! Seven years in and I still haven't figured anything out. That's where God's grace fills in the gaps, the big gaping holes in my ability to do things right. Some days I pray that God would let Archer forget that I just yelled at him. Sometimes I stop, turn my back on the kids and pray, desperately begging God for the right words. I should do that more often.

Today I was SO excited for Archer, and HE was excited and SHELLY was excited and did I mention how excited we all were? We moved the birthday banner from Shelly's door to Archer's (yes, its been there since her birthday four months ago), we put up streamers and another banner and told Arch "Happy Birthday!" every chance we got. We went to McD's for lunch and Archer got a Happy Meal (his one-per-year allotment) and Grandpa joined us to watch the kids play in the tunnels. After school we met up with Grandma Sue and then came home for dinner with Uncle Dan and Aunt Denise. Cake and presents and fun all around! Oh how we all love birthdays, celebrating another year of God's grace and love in our lives!!!

Come and see what God has done,
his awesome deeds for mankind!
~ Psalm 66:5

Lion Stories

On Saturday night we slept at Tim and Penny's and I had a little flashback to a time when Leah and I were kids and sleeping together in her room. We were staying up giggling and talking until Tim called up the steps that it was time to be quiet and go to sleep. On Saturday I heard my sister and my daughter laying in bed in that very same room, giggling and talking late into the night. The house where my mother grew up, where I felt at home and spent many hours laughing and playing has now entered into my children's lives and I hope they have as many fond memories of that place as I have.

Earlier in the day I had shared a story with David about something I thought was a memory but also seemed so crazy that it was more likely a story I had made up. He convinced me to share it with my aunts, uncles and Grandpa when we got to Grandpa's house. So, feeling really self-conscious that I had this tall tale to share, I dove in.

When we were kids, and all gathered at Grandpa's house, Matt told me about a guy who lived somewhere nearby who had a lion. He also had some other exotic animals, like maybe a monkey or something, but the part that really stuck in my mind was the lion. And Matt said that we were going to see the lion that very day. (Matt is six months older than me and way cooler and I always believed everything he told me.) Then, Aunt Patti and my mom took us to the house but the guy wasn't home. And that's where my memory/tall tale ends. I don't remember if we actually saw the lion or any other animals. But I've kept this story alive in my memory for years, twenty or more years of wondering if that really happened and how could that possibly be true? I finally spilled the beans to David and then to my family, thinking I must sound crazy. And then someone said, "I know what she's talking about. Grandpa, do you remember?" And I looked at Grandpa, who had a smile on his face and said, "Yeah I know exactly what she's talking about."

WHAT?

The lion story is TRUE??? It turns out it wasn't a lion. It was a cougar. Or perhaps a bobcat (the aunts and uncles had differing memories on that detail). There were no other animals. But Dad told me that he had a classmate who had a monkey, so maybe the stories got joined up in my mind. I laughed so hard that I cried as my aunts and uncles then started sharing their stories of the guy with the cougar. Or bobcat. I could NOT believe that my crazy story turned out to actually be real! Aunt Patti and Mom remembered going to visit and the guy not being home. And whatever happened to the giant cat? The guy let it go. Or it ran away. Or it drowned in the pool. Wow. We put that question to rest, finally, the question of whether someone out in the country would have a pet lion and our mothers would actually take us to see it. Yes, someone would, and yes, they would.

Older Brother's Wisdom

Today we had Eli's 4 month doctor visit during which we were treated to three shots. The real treat was the time we spent waiting for the doctor to come in.

Archer and Shelly pretended to be doctors. And they spun around on the stool and then of course investigated the parts underneath. The next thing I know Shelly's holding out hands covered in grease. "Shelly! Why did you touch that?" "Archer told me to." She wasn't tattling, just telling it like it was. I tried so hard not to laugh as I turned to Archer and told him that as the older one, he had a "responsibility to be responsible." Ok, it wasn't eloquent. But I gave him a mini-lecture on not telling her to do stuff that he knew wasn't right. All while trying not to laugh because it was a little funny. He responded to the speech by telling Shelly to jump out this window right here... "Shelly, when your brother tells you to do something you know is wrong..."

Tonight I saw it in action again, the older one telling the younger one what to do. But she ASKED him. Because she didn't know what to decide and so of course she'd ask her older, cooler brother what the right thing was. And that is how we got through reading the "Choose your own adventure" book tonight. David would ask Shelly and she would turn to big brother. "What's the right thing, Archer?" Oh how I pray that when it really counts, he'll give her the right answer, the good advice, the wise council that she needs to hear. And likewise, that she will do the same for him, the way my sister has done for me countless times.

Tonight's Special Is...

Tonight Shelly is our chef. I'm making supper. Shelly asked if she could help, and then said "Mom, pretend I'm the chef." This is what she wants to be when she grows up. Meanwhile, Archer is documenting Shelly's cooking show by continuously announcing, "Ha! Now I have evidence that YOU are cooking in the kitchen!" and taking pics with my camera phone. Shelly's cooking show is progressing nicely, she dumped the noodles into the water and now she's singing the theme song. "Now you have a chef. Now you don't have the chef. No chef in your kitchen..." Archer has moved on to playing games on the phone. In about five minutes our meal will be done and I anticipate that the game of restaurant will begin, with waiter, hostess, and friendly direction about who sits where and what tonight's specials are. Tonight's special at the Fortier Family Diner: Macaroni and Cheese. Yum!

Denise, remember those projects for school that required cooking a Mexican meal and documenting the entire thing? And interviewing our parents afterwards on their thoughts about the meal?

"Assistant. Assistant!" Oh, my boss is calling me back to the show, gotta go!

(Photo courtesy Archer, world renowned photographer.)

How Are You Doing?

This is the question that everyone asks us, how are we adjusting to the new baby in the family? How are we doing? How are the kids? And the canned, standard answer is "oh, everything's great!" Its not, really, but we'll eventually figure it out. Right? It feels like a new baby in the house is a chance for me to start all over... start all over with the list of things I'm not doing "right" and the list of ways that I can screw up my baby's life. By giving him a pacifier or not, by letting him cry a little or rushing straight to him whenever he makes a peep, by... well, we all know the list. And the Mom Guilt that comes with the job. A guilt we feel just because we'll never be able to live up to some "standard" that's out there.

Add to that the dynamic of a household with other children who have their own feelings about the new baby. When someone asks Shelly what she thinks about her new brother and she says "he cries a lot" they laugh like its a cute little remark from a cute little girl. But underneath that, maybe what Shelly means is, "he cries a lot and then Mom holds him and she doesn't pick me up when I cry." And when we tell Archer that he's a good big brother but then when I leave the room he's taking out his frustrations on his sister by pushing or hitting her, what is he thinking and not saying? What kind of pressure are we putting on him to "perform" in his role and where is that leaving him? Things that in the past have been minor scuffles that they resolve themselves are now huge battles with screaming and physical retaliation. I'm making our house sound like a war zone and its not. We are doing "fine" but its a "fine" with new frustrations and we're working really hard to figure it out. And not screw up our kids permanently in the process.

Denise was encouraging me today and something she said was, it seems like a lot to adjust to but one day you'll wake up and realize that you've got it figured out, you've adjusted and things are going smoothly. And she's right, I think. One day we'll be able to get to the bus stop on time without it seeming like a miracle that we even got out of the house. One day it will take us less than forty minutes to get our coats on, get in the car and leave for church. But today, its a struggle. We're working on it. Trying to adjust. I just wish the adjusting part could be over soon, and we could have it figured out.

He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority."
~Acts 1:7

And so we wait on His timing.

Happy Birthday Elijah Graham!

The waiting is over. Our precious wonderful amazing little miracle was born on Friday morning. Elijah Graham came into the world at 7:42 weighing 10 lbs, 8 ounces and he was 22 & 3/4" long. Hello beautiful! Although we had a couple of small issues, he's now doing well and he's perfectly healthy and we're all perfectly happy to have the youngest member of our family home with us. Now that I've seen him on the outside of me, I can't believe he was ever INSIDE of me, how could he have been crunched up so tight to actually fit in there? And how could he MOVE? It must have been awfully cozy for him!

We stayed in the hospital for three nights after he was born and each night my heart grew more uneasy at being away from Shelly and Archer. Tonight we're all together again and it seems that all is right in the world. Or at least in our family.

Thanks are in order...

Thank you Mom and Dad for taking Archer and Shelly, for driving back and forth to get Archer to and from school and the kids to and from the hospital for visits. Thanks for letting them move in with you and interrupt your lives for a few days, hopefully they haven't worn out their welcome TOO much! They loved being with you and cherish every moment of games and story time and fun that they have with you.

Thank you Denise for joining us at the hospital and being such wonderful support to David and I throughout the entire experience. You were such a stable presence, constantly encouraging and helping and you are an amazing blessing in our lives. God has truly blessed me with you as my sister and friend.

And most importantly thank you David for putting up with your frustrated, grumpy wife for the last few months as I complained about having to wait so long, and about all my little irritations and frustrations. Thank you for helping me with the little and big things. Thank you for holding my hand and encouraging me through every minute of labor and every moment before and after. You are such an amazing husband. You're a wonderful dad. God is amazing to have placed us together and I thank Him every day for you in my life.

Children are a heritage from the Lord,

offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of the warrior

are children born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man

whose quiver is full of them.

 ~ Psalm 127:3-5