Back to the Real World

After being home for more than two months, working on a little card table with a view out the window, I'll be going back to work in the office next week. This has been stressful and wonderful and so very strange. Everyone wears face masks at the grocery store now and when I don't have one on, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Everyone stands in the checkout line at a distance and when someone stands only two feet away from me I feel like they're crowding me and doing something wrong. When Shelly and I dropped off groceries for Grandma Sue we chatted but kept our distance. No hugs anymore. And I'm so very grateful that I live in this home with four other people who can never get enough hugs and high fives and cuddles. And sad for those who don't have that.

We're all done with school for the school year - I declared that we'd be done because the endless worksheets and writing assignments just don't seem worth the anxiety they're causing. We wrapped it up a week early and Eli and Shelly played made-up games outside to pretend it was Field Day and came back in sweaty and exhausted and smiling. Archer took his final exam for his last math class at 2:00 this morning and now we're officially done. And as the kids wrap up school and I go back to the office, it seems things are finally starting to get back to normal, a little bit.

I'm going to miss the bird, squirrel, bunny watching out my window. I'm going to miss the stream of non-stop hugs all day long. I'm going to miss wearing slippers while I work. But I'm really looking forward to the kids getting their summer adventures started, and getting back to the office with my colleagues so I can chat with them throughout the day, instead of working alone and seeing their faces only once a week on a video call. Somehow I feel like a vacation is ending, even though I've been working this whole time. At the same time, vacation is just beginning for the kids. And the grandparents are already making plans for some fun!

Here's to recognizing what we have, hoping things get closer to "normal" soon, and looking forward to what's to come!

Christmas Season

Its right around November 15^th every year that we start seeing the “Countdown to Christmas” messages everywhere. The stores have already pulled out all the Christmas stuff and by the time we get to Thanksgiving, we’re hearing the music everywhere. I don’t think it’s a huge secret that I’m not a big fan of Christmas, I don’t like the pressure to make my house look a certain way and spend a bunch of money on stuff we don’t need. But. Mostly I try to keep my sentiments to myself. Last year, the five of us all finally officially gave up on celebrating with Santa. The youngest kid knows. We (the parents) can stop trying so hard to hide everything (we were never very good at that) and we can just be up front about the packages that keep arriving at our doorstep leading up to the big day. So that was a step towards making Christmas all around better this year.

David and the kids worked SO HARD to get everything ready. Many dozens of cookies made (thanks Eli, Shelly, David). Dishes and more dishes (thank  you Faithful Dishwasher for all your hard work!). Vacuum the living room, again and again (thanks Archer J). All the windows washed (Wow! David!!!). Laundry, more dishes, more vacuuming, dusting.

Now on to the real joy of Christmas, what we all know we’re supposed to be enjoying, but it gets lost in the stress… Family Time. Time Together.

It happened this year – we really had a chance to ENJOY each other. Nana came on Christmas Eve, along with Bampa and Grandma Shell and we had a wonderful evening together. The stories, the silliness, so many hugs for everyone. Archer snuggled up next to Nana for an hour or two while we watched a show, then everyone headed off to bed.

Then on Christmas Day, it was the Fortiers’ turn to take over the house – little by little they trickled in and the house warmed up. We were missing only 2 of the entire clan and with a group that large, I’d say that was an amazing accomplishment. To have just about everyone there was amazing. Christmas has changed so much over the years that I’ve been a part of this family. All of the grandchildren are growing up, there’s not so much screaming (with joy) and crying. Not so much of all the kids mobbing Christopher’s legs and wrestling him to the ground to pile on top of the oldest cousin. There’s more talk of dating (bleh!! I don’t wanna know!!), jobs, travelling and the BIG topic this year is who is newly driving, or about to be driving, or could be driving by now but isn’t… 

After food and presents, the kids found a game to play together and this is where I have to say, I could not have pictured this 15 years ago. I probably would not have said, “It’s great that they’re all playing video games!” We always hear about kids and “too much screen time.” But Christopher told his cousins that he wanted to spend some time with them and they ALL (that’s 9 kids aged 9 through 25) piled into the boys’ bedroom for a game on their phones/tablets/computers. They found a game that all of them could play together. Screen time, yes. FUN TIME with cousins, DEFINITELY. We had such a great time, I was sorry to kick everyone out at 9:00 because some of us had to work the next day.

I would say it was definitely one of the best Christmases yet – so much wonderful family time connecting with everyone. Thanks to all who came over, brought stuff and just hung out. And most of all, thank you to Elijah, Shelly, Archer and David for ALL of your hard work keeping the house clean and ready to entertain. My wonderful children never complained even once. Not when I  interrupted their playtime to do more chores, not when we asked Shelly to give up her room while Nana stays with us, not when I asked someone to come to the grocery store with me AGAIN. I have the most wonderful family.

Grandma's Famous Chicken Salad

David introduced this recipe to me long ago, way back before kids, etc. etc. The story is that his mom would make it the day after Thanksgiving, using turkey and all the leftover ingredients that they had from the day before. It's one that we both love, it's easy and kind of quick, and you don't actually need to measure anything. Whenever we've brought this to a family event, people seem to love it. Or, they're just being nice?

Here goes.

Grandma Sue's Famous Chicken Salad

Ingredients
About 1 lb chicken breast
Celery, Onion
Grapes halved (or Apples, diced)
Cashews (or Carrots)
Mayo, Mustard, Salt and Pepper

Instructions
1. Cook the chicken breast with whatever seasonings you like (Italian, basil, whatever smells good)
2. Set aside one of the chicken breasts for the kids that don't like chicken salad
3. Cut up all the remaining ingredients, mix it all together, add some mayo mustard salt pepper to taste

Why we love it
No measuring required! A nice fresh meal in the heat of the summer. And with the option to leave some of the chicken to the side for some of the kids, it's a meal we can all enjoy. (3 stars because 2 of the kids prefer the chicken to the chicken salad)

  

Shelly's Seven!

We did something this year that we’ve never attempted before. Its surprising, considering we’ve been parents for almost ten years, and this is an American cultural standard that our kids have been exposed to beginning way back at four and five years old. The Birthday Party with Friends. We’ve avoided it, passed it up, and this year we’ve finally succumbed.

 We held a birthday party for Shelly’s big Seven. Two cousins, ten friends, and lots of screeching girls… One dad said to me, “I feel sorry for you” as he closed the door behind him. I just smiled and let him know we were going to have lots of fun. And secretly inside I was completely intimidated by the mob of little girls circling around me. Are we going to have fun? Will they tell their parents it was a good time? Grandma Sue and Aunt Niecy came to help and I kept asking Denise, is it going ok? I guess it went ok.

We were inspired by Laura Ingalls Wilder and came up with crafts and games in the spirit of Laura in her Little House. The girls made rag dolls, lavender sachets, button necklaces, wooden tops, butter, and shopped at the General Store. The boys were in charge of the store, taking pennies from the girls and dishing out giant pickles, marbles, paper dolls and countless pounds of candy.

In the end, when it was all over, I felt like I had planned a wedding, all timed out and choreographed. I knew that David and I couldn’t have done it without all the help we got from Grandma and Aunt Niecy. There were no major injuries, no home-wrecking catastrophes (only bits of rock candy everywhere that we had to pick up for days afterwards), and the girls left with their goodies and smiles on their faces. Best of all, Shelly said she had a good time. She thanked us a thousand times. And hopefully she’ll remember the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER for a few years to come.

Big Weekend

Friday Night. Movie Night at Jefferson, we sat on the gym floor for two hours in the dark, while no one stopped talking once the movie started, the air smelled of sweaty socks and spilled popcorn.
An event where I exist as a piece of furniture and a vending machine. Lean against me, sit on my lap, ask for treats... We had fun!!

 

Saturday. What did we do? Its already lost in my memory, sandwiched between the other two days and their big events.
The kids made art.

Sunday. The Game. I went, for the first time ever, to a Packers game at Lambeau Field. Rain, cold, crowded together first in the car then on the bleachers then in the car again. We didn't get home till after midnight, awfully late for a school night. The kids had fun with Grandma Sue, David and I had fun with another couple, spending the day driving to Green Bay and back. I knit a scarf with all my time in the car. So it was productive. Also, a really great time with great people. :)

Museum!

Christopher joined us for a day at the museum in Chicago, E got to spend the day with Grandma Sue. We learned lots, enjoyed a tour of a submarine, a (simulated) plane ride through a tornado, a movie about space junk (there's A LOT of junk out there!), and a bunch of other stuff too... Here's the day in pictures.

A bunch of clowns? Yeah, that's us!

 

Shelly was SO excited about the ride through the tornado that she could hardly stand still

Serious science discussion

The kids' first time EVER on a REAL plane. Too bad it was parked inside the museum and not going anywhere!

 

Standing under a torpedo after the submarine tour

 

 

To the moon!

E refused to open his eyes for the pic, he had a great time with Grandma and his cousins

In All Directions & Catching Up

There's a whole lot of planning that's required for one simple little weekend at Cub Scout Camp. Phone calls, text messages, notes on the calendar, check the calendar again, check the packing list four hundred times...

Tomorrow Archer and I will go to camp, Grandma Sue will come watch the other two until VBS starts and Shelly will go there, then Grandma will take E home with her. David will pick up Shelly from VBS and E will stay with Grandma until Saturday. Shell and Dad will have some special time together at an art studio painting a canvas and who knows what else. E will have some special time with Grandma, and Arch and I will be... I have no idea what we'll be doing, except this. It will be REALLY hot out, and we'll be outside all day long, baking in the sun. We get to sleep in a tent two nights in a row, enjoy camp food, and who knows what else. After about a hundred trips in and out of the house to pack more and more stuff in the trunk of my car, I'm already exhausted and we haven't even left yet! It should be a great weekend, my only small bit of sadness is that we'll each be off in different directions, E south with Grandma, Shell north to the art class, and Arch to the west at camp.

On another note, four of us spent the morning at the beach today with some friends, together, first overheating in the sun, then freezing in the water, back and forth until finally, at 1:00, the kids were "STARVING!!" and we had to get back to our air conditioned houses and food.

This week Shelly has been at VBS with her cousins while I hang out with the boys. On Monday we had another archery lesson. E enjoyed watching for blackberries along the trail as Archer tried out a range we hadn't seen before. This archery thing is kinda fun!

We also went to school to help with some weeding and playing in the sprinkler, followed by a visit to a friend's house for some playing in the mud, I mean more sprinklers.

Pictures courtesy of Mary

There was a visit to the office to water the new shrubs (brought back a LOT of memories for me doing the exact same thing when I was pretty close to Archer's age!), followed by a trip to DQ.

Way last week (I can hardly remember it) we went to the Pack Movie Night with all the other scouts. There were water games, great food, a piece of Swiss cheese on the pavement (?) and finally, we all settled down for the movie in the parking lot. Followed by a screaming loud game of "Cheese Touch!!" (you and I would know it as tag, you'll have to watch "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" to know what that's all about).

And finally, here are a few catch up pictures that I never got around to posting before...

Back in May, Archer had his spring concert, Bampa Bampa (that's Grandma and Grandpa, of course) came along, it was a bit rainy that day.

Thanks for the pics Bampa!

When we took our little road trip to the farm, David caught this nice fish, I was only just a little envious after spending the whole time reeling in weeds. :)

I guess we've been just a little busy over the last week or two?

Friday Night Fun

Tonight Shelly is at Grandma Sue's for a Girls' Night. As the boys and I were leaving, one of them decided to roll down the hill. And of course the other followed. I love to see them rolling around together, laughing the whole way down!

Fantastic Grandma

We took this picture around the time of E's birthday, that little puppy was a gift from Grandma.
Sometimes he takes it to bed with him and talks to it until he falls asleep.
A little friend (almost as big as he is, actually) to keep him company.
Thanks Grandma!

Strings

Have you heard of this? Tying strings of fellowship?

 

Last night Shelly and I were talking before bedtime and she started telling me about how she had missed me the night before. She had gone to Grandma Sue's for a sleepover with her cousins, they had a girls' night together and had lots of fun. But she missed us. She's always done this, found some sadness in the fun because she misses someone who wasn't able to be there with her. I love that she wants to be with us and misses us, but I don't want it overshadowing her fun, and so we talked about it.

Shelly, did you know that there's an invisible string that goes from your heart to my heart? I told her that when she goes away, the string starts to strech, but its strong. When she goes away for awhile, or a far distance, that string streches, but its strong, and we're still connected. She really liked this analogy, and we started pulling on the strings on the sweatshirt I was wearing. I leaned back, she held on and we watched those strings streeeecccchhhhh, but she held on tight.

We talked about how the string streches, but that's ok, because we always come back together again. And then I asked her, don't you want those strings between you and Grandma to get stronger? And what about your cousins? When you spend time together, you make those strings stronger... She was smiling thinking about all the strings between her and everyone she loves, she started listing people and I can imagine she was thinking about all that string between her and everyone else. Can't you picture the big web of strings between each of us, from me to my husband and kids, from them to each other and to me, from each of us to all of those in our lives that we love?

At some point, Archer came into the room and sat with us while we described all of those strings, and the analogy started to shift a little. We talked about things getting tangled up and messy between each other. What do you do when things get tangled? Knotted? Its an analogy that works so well. One that I need to remember more often. Take the time to tie new strings between myself and those I love. Spend time together doing fun things, talking, building that relationship. Take the time to untangle them when things get complicated. And protect them, don't ever, ever let anything come to cut the strings that connect us to each other.

So Predictable, Soooo Good

Just now, a second ago, I had a moment where I was soooo glad that we are where we are right now, right in this moment. Predictable. Schedule. I know what to expect and what's coming next. I know some people would say that maybe this isn't a great place, maybe I need to stretch out and let things be unpredictable, get involved with something that requires more faith. But here it is - I need this right now, right this second. And today, God gave it to me, to us. Shelly had gymnastics this morning (right on schedule), Grandma Sue called us to discuss making salsa and we invited her over for dinner. It was unexpected, but not a big thing, not a bad surprise. It was nice to have her over. And tonight, after the kids went to bed within an hour of the "scheduled bed time," it felt perfect and I felt at peace. Tomorrow I'll argue with them over whether they REALLY have to take showers. The day after that we'll start the week again and we'll have all the predictable daily life trials of getting to school on time, doing homework, and everything else. But tonight, predictable, scheduled, expected, feels so good. SOOOO good. I can expect the kids to sleep through the night, I can expect them to feed themselves breakfast in the morning (or help each other get something to eat), and there's just a little less pressure to always be on-call, go go going. I'm so relieved to be where we are right now. And yes, some people would say that I'm leaning too much on my own schedule and not enough on faith, but I know the truth, and that's this - our little schedule is one of the tools God has given me to get through those other things, like the homework battles and the never ending work and all the other stresses that come our way each day. I lean on our schedule, on our predictability, and faithfully count on God to use that schedule, that predictability, to keep us moving forward. Thank you Lord, for redeeming the time, for showing us how to spend our time and giving us time to rest when we need it most.

Picture Overload

Last weekend I went to visit the great-grandparents, I took my boys with me and Shelly chose to visit Grandma Sue instead. We started out at Great-Grandma's/Nana's new apartment, what a great place! Archer said he felt like he was at home. Nana was happy to hear that Arch was comfortable there.

After a fun sleepover with Nana, we went to visit Great-Grandpa. I took a picture of the boys with Great-Grandpa and then Archer took a picture of us, while Grandpa gave advice (mostly just told him to hurry up and take the picture before he dropped the camera).

This weekend I tried to organize the hall closet but it was pretty slow going. For one thing, Archer distracted me by asking me to teach him how to finger-knit. I was so happy that he was interested that I completely forgot about the closet and immediately sat down with him and Shelly and two balls of yarn. Several hours later (and a long multi-colored chain that Archer knit himself)...

I finally got back to the closet. And how do you keep a seven month old baby occupied while you organize coloring books, craft supplies and other miscellaneous stuff? Give him the phone book. To tear apart, eat, shred, whatever. So when the closet is done you have little scraps of paper everywhere, including in the baby's mouth. Oh well. The job got done, mostly. And I made Archer and Shelly pick up the soggy paper scraps. ;-)

Birthday #7

This is Archer's seventh birthday. Oh what a journey we're on! Seven years in and I still haven't figured anything out. That's where God's grace fills in the gaps, the big gaping holes in my ability to do things right. Some days I pray that God would let Archer forget that I just yelled at him. Sometimes I stop, turn my back on the kids and pray, desperately begging God for the right words. I should do that more often.

Today I was SO excited for Archer, and HE was excited and SHELLY was excited and did I mention how excited we all were? We moved the birthday banner from Shelly's door to Archer's (yes, its been there since her birthday four months ago), we put up streamers and another banner and told Arch "Happy Birthday!" every chance we got. We went to McD's for lunch and Archer got a Happy Meal (his one-per-year allotment) and Grandpa joined us to watch the kids play in the tunnels. After school we met up with Grandma Sue and then came home for dinner with Uncle Dan and Aunt Denise. Cake and presents and fun all around! Oh how we all love birthdays, celebrating another year of God's grace and love in our lives!!!

Come and see what God has done,
his awesome deeds for mankind!
~ Psalm 66:5

Apart

I'm going to take the baby and go away for a few days, off to visit Nana and Papa. So Shelly will go spend some time with Grandma Sue and Archer will be picked up after school by Grandpa Craig. And our family is being scattered to the four winds... Of course these children that make me C.R.A.Z.Y. also make me miss them before I'm even gone. So on the way to Grandma's I told Shelly that I'm going to miss her a lot. "Its ok mom, we'll be together again soon." My baby girl is getting so grown up, and sweeter every second! (Also, she gets more sassy, but that story's for another day.)

When I got home from dropping Shelly off, Elijah made a HUGE mess so I changed him right away and then within five minutes there were rumblings of more mess. I started to pick him up to get him changed again but WET! His shirt was wet. Surely not from the diaper leaking? Up to his chest? No. (Whew!) Spit up. I told him he's a multi-functional mess-maker. He just smiled. And drooled some more.