Attitude Check

I've been struggling a bit lately, I'm tired of hearing the baby cry, tired of being interrupted by ANOTHER request for snacks, juice, help buttoning pants, putting on socks... HELLO Amy, this is MOTHERHOOD. I was getting pretty annoyed with everything and through a series of small little reminders, the Lord showed me how selfish I've been. Oh how selfish I was being, "can't they just leave me alone for five minutes?" has been turned around. "What can I do to show them how much I love them at this moment?" Elijah has gotten so much better about letting other people hold him, Mom and Dad had him for several hours yesterday and he didn't cry for them at all. Today we had a party for Mom's retirement and I hardly held him, he was content in other people's arms. And other people were kind enough to relieve me, take him for me so I could play with Archer and Shelly in the water. It was what I needed, a little break from constantly tending E so I could play with the older two, and the Lord provided it. And somehow, in that break, in discussions with people in my family, in an article so queitly placed in my in-box about mothering, I realized how backwards I've been and the need to turn around. Get my attitude headed in the right direction.

I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain.
~Psalm 3:4

Peter Walks on Water

This is the story I've been thinking about lately. Jesus walking on water, and Peter coming out to meet him. On the water. (Read it here.)

Picture Credit

Peter sees Jesus and goes out to meet him on the water. But when he looked around he became afraid of what he saw and started to sink. Oh Peter, how I can relate. I'm trying so hard to keep my eyes on the Lord, I know He's the only way I can get through this season in our lives, and yet I find myself faltering. I look around, and suddenly I feel like I'm up to my nose, drowning in a stormy sea that has no regard for small me, just trying to stay afloat. My circumstances aren't bad, in fact, they're really good. I absolutely cannot complain. We're blessed beyond measure. But I feel like I'm drowning in the busy every day details, there's just no time for everything that needs to be done and so I limp along, trying to keep up. I look around at the long list of scheduled events and chores to do and I start drowning in anxiety of "what next? what now?" And I cry out. "God I CAN. NOT. do this!" Which is the point. Of course I can't. He can. I can't walk without him, and every time I start to sink I'm reminded that I need to keep my eyes on him, not the messy details around me. "Please, Lord, fill in the gaps!" I keep asking. The gap of not enough time, not enough energy, not enough attention for each kid.

I have this idea that if I was more organized, more efficient, more cheerful, our family would be perfect. Duh! How many times do I have to hear from the Lord, or look around and start to sink, before I let go of those ideas? Quit trying to do it all. Without him its nothing.

My favorite part of this story is in verse 31. "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him." He didn't stand in front of him saying, "I told you so." He grabbed him. Right away. Oh Lord, thank you for your unending mercy and thank you for catching me, right away, when I cry out! You are awesome.

******

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”


Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

~ Matthew 14:29-33

Elijah: 10 Months

Guess who's ten? Ten months, of course. He's crawling around like crazy, look out world! He's into the plants and dirt CONSTANTLY. How many times does he need to dump dirt on the carpet before we just get rid of the plants? We haven't quite reqched the limit yet, the plants are still here. We waited SOOOO LOOOONG for the other two to get old enough to re-introduce houseplants to our home, we're not quite willing to give them up again. But I'm getting sick of vacuuming the carpet two or three or five times a day. Its really sweet when Archer helps out, I always congratulate him for taking the initiative.

He's walking along the furniture, and today he stood up without holding onto anything for the very first time. For like ten seconds or something. A month or two from now that will be nothing, he'll be running! Take your time, though, baby, we don't need more emergency room visits. Both of the older ones had stitches by this point. Let's just slow down, no need to rush to the ER. And yet, I'm surprised he's not walking, he tries so hard to keep up with older brother and sister, and its the worst insult when they ignore him and go off to another room, just when he finally caought up with them. Then they have the nerve to shut the door! He just sits on the other side and cries. The injustice! Soon enough, E, you'll be able to open the door. Then they'll have nowhere to hide!

Kickball with the Cousins

Archer has claimed that he doesn't know how to play kickball, even though they've played it in gym class. I guess they only played it once or something, so he doesn't remember. So I told him I'd teach him. Well, that's just two people, its tough to play with only two. Plus Shelly, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't be interested. Plus the baby. So we waited until the weekend, when we'd have Dad, one more. That brings us up to, um... Five? But only three who would play. Good news!! Cousins got wind of our plan and came to join us! That's Austin, Alex, plus their mom, so now we're up to six players. We invited more. Brock, Annika, and their mom. Two more players. Following all the math? Three moms, one dad, one baby, two kids who didn't play and four kids who played. We found a ball diamond with a playground nearby and... wait. There's goose poo all over the diamond. Play in the grass instead? No, that's worse than the diamond. So we put cones out on the cleanest part of the diamond, tried to run around the poo, and pretended that the ball wasn't covered in the stuff as we played. What fun! Whew it was a lot of running, shouting, cheering and F.U.N.! Archer's goal of playing every position was achieved, there were lots of home runs, lots of outs, and when we were all done, ice cream.

Management

When I was working, I used to tell people that my favorite part of the job was that it was never the same, every day was different. Things were always changing, and there was always something new to learn or some new puzzle to solve. If ever there was a job that fit the "always changing" description, it would be parenting.

I cannot think of another job which offers no training before immediately requiring that you manage other people and train them to become what you are. In this case, a responsible adult. We are attempting to train up three people in the hopes that they will become responsible grown-ups, but I have no experience in management in this field. Especially management of three people who when they first arrive don't speak my language, can't remember directions and don't even know enough to do what they're told just because I'm the manager and I said so.

Simple tasks have to be broken into even easier segments and doled out in tiny increments. Imagine hiring someone to be your secretary, and when you needed them to make a phone call you first had to say, "Go get the phone. Great! Now dial this number. No, that's not a 3, that's a 2. Dial 3... Ok good job! Now when the person on the other end says 'hello' then you say 'hello' back. Fantastic! I'm so proud!" This is what parents do. They manage the kids and try to teach them life skills. "When you take a shower, don't forget..." Who knew taking a shower could be so complicated? How can he be in there for 25 minutes and still not get his face clean? How can she be surprised that when she takes a bath her face might get wet? She's taken a bath HOW many times in her life? Still she's surprised?

For some reason you have to spend thousands of dollars and four years of your life to earn a degree that gives you the skills to manage other adults. But the much more complicated task of managing someone else's entire life from the moment it starts requires no prerequisites. Almost anyone can take this job without test taking, graduating, inverviewing, and being offered a position. You just decide. And the next thing you know, you've gotten yourself into the hardest job this planet has to offer. But the best one, too.

One Gone, Six to Go

Good News!


I just spent about 45 minutes polishing the side of my car. I used to have seven mountains etched into the paint… Only six more to go…

I’ll be happy to polish by hand anyone’s car that has been damaged by one of my children using a rock to etch a mural, family portrait, etc. Feel free to give me a call to sign up for my free services. 

Restrictions Apply: You have to prove it was MY kid, good luck because they’re really stealthy. And I’ll only do it during nice weather. So sign up now before it gets cold out!!

PS – I tried to take a picture but now my car is so shiny that it looked like I was taking a picture of myself. And you really don’t need a picture of me...

Today's Gods

There are these modern day religions that my kids are hearing about everywhere they turn. The rest of us are hearing about them too, and though I don't think we really think of them as "gods," they're getting into our heads the same way that the idols of ancient Israel infiltrated their lives and I'm not liking it. First, there's the Exercise God. If we all just worship it, think about it all the time and try to serve it, our lives will be better. Bike instead of drive a car, you'll be healthier and happier. Then there's the Ecofriendly God. If we bike instead of driving a car we'll be more environmentally friendly. Plus we'll be happier. And we'll be "doing the right thing." I'm SO TIRED of it.

I reached my limit yesterday when a neighborhood kid showed up and asked Archer if he could ride his bike around the block with her. She looked at me and said, "I'm getting my exercise." She's EIGHT! YUCK! When I was eight bike riding was about FUN. I didn't start thinking about "exercise" until I was at least in high school, and even then, biking wasn't about exercise, it was for getting to work (before I could drive) or spending time with friends and family (fun).

I had a conversation with Archer once while we were driving somewhere and he was telling me about how bad it is to drive a car, how it hurts the planet and we shouldn't be driving so much. He was in kindergarden at the time. While I understand that he was just repeating what he'd heard from school or his "educational" cartoons, I got kind of mad at him about it. I wanted to say, "If you don't like riding in my car then go ahead and walk. I'll wait for you when I get there."

I find these modern day gods showing up in the little places in our lives, often put there by television or public school, and my first reaction is to try to shelter my kids from the world. But after a few years of this I've learned, there's no sheltering completely, they'll hear it all eventually. So its my job to frame it for what it is, teach them the truth, and try to just let it go when I feel my blood pressure starting to rise in yet another discussion with Archer about why we shouldn't be driving my little car around town.

Spider Killer

Something's changed recently, I'm not sure why but now Archer kills bugs when he sees them crawling around in the house. This is the same kid who would run screaming at the thought of a bug. He now tells his sister to go get a shoe, he kills it and then a discussion ensues...

Arch: I killed it, you have to clean it up.
Shell: Its really yucky. For real.
Arch: I did something, now you do something, you have to clean it up. For real.
Shell: Its too yucky, you clean it up.
Arch: If you don't do it I'm going to ask Mom to do it. (What a threat!) Mom? Mom? Can you please clean it up?

Mom: You're becoming quite a man, Archer. Thanks for killing the spider!

Girls Day Out (and Two Boys)

Today my mom, sister, and aunt treated me to a wonderful trip to Elegant Farmer. Oh it was so sweet, time with people I love, time in the sun in God's beautiful creation. Sometimes there are glimpses of Eden, what God intended our home to be. Sometimes there are glimpses of Heaven, where we will be in wonderful fellowship with one another in the presence of our Creator. Something so simple as a day trip to an apple orchard wouldn't seem to be such an amazing event. But it was today. We just hung out. I loved it. The kids had a great time, we went home to Mom and Dad's and enjoyed more time together before we all went on our way again, splitting up, back to our husbands and homes. Left with cherished memories of a few hours together.


Archer, Aunt Niecey, Aunt Patti, Shelly, Grandma Shell, Elijah, and me!
What a crowd!



This year's pictures courtesy of Denise, thank you :)

We've been there before, way back in 2008... Look how little they were!

Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?

~ C.S. Lewis

Rushing Along

So here we are racing along, the train rushing along the tracks just trying to get to the next stop on schedule. (What's the next stop? I can't even keep track anymore.) The conductor (that's me, the mom/conductor/co-pilot in this family of ours) thinks that everything's going just great. Every once in awhile there's a rock on the track that gets kicked up as we rush along and we have some minor discipline issue, or small meltdown, or whatever. But mostly things are fine, right? Then one of the kids says something that feels like a grenade tossed onto the tracks from out of nowhere. BAM! Screech to a halt! Derailed! Did he SERIOUSLY just say that? Did my son really just tell me, "Every day is a bad day." Fail. This is not what I ever imagined hearing from my child. He said some other stuff too, but I'm not going to write that here. My heart nearly stopped, or broke, it ached. I pulled the car over, climbed into the back seat and gave him a hug. How could I have NOT seen this coming? We're rushing along too fast. Its fun to drive fast but too fast and things start getting scary. Oh Arch, let's slow down and spend some moments together laughing. Let's stop trying to rush out the door to the next event. Let's stop pushing to get so much accomplished and let's just be silly together. Let's stop thinking about all the stuff you need to learn and just be kids. I wish I could tell you how much I hate homework, how it would be so much better to be playing than learning factors or spelling or punctuation. I wish I could tell you my struggles in this journey we're on and have you know we're in this together. You're not alone.

Other fun stuff from our weekend...

Ryan, I mean Archer, stumbles on his way to home base

Archer and I played baseball and as he was rounding the bases (just generally running around in the grass with not a single base in sight) he went down and I tagged him while shouting, "Oh he's down!! He's OUTA HERE!" I fended off a meltdown by telling him its just like what happened to Ryan Braun the other day. "Archer, you're just like Ryan Braun, he rounded third base and tripped and was tagged out!" Archer's response... "Really?" He was ok with me comparing him to a major league player. And then he said, and here's the stretch, get ready for it. "I AM Ryan Braun!" I laughed and we played a few more minutes before I had to get back to cleaning the garage.

We enjoyed a pot luck picnic at church to welcome our new head pastor. I was happy that our kids know other kids that they can play with at events like that. I was so comforted when Shelly couldn't find us and she was able to find another adult that she knew who would keep her close until we were found. Church family is awesome.

David and I made another batch of salsa after the kids went to bed one evening. I know the kids would have loved to help but I have to say, it was fun for it to be just between David and me. I love working with him on projects, each adding our parts and laughing together along the way.
I think we did a million other things but I don't even remember them now. I just know it was good. Smiles all around. I sometimes wonder how much of all this our kids will remember when they're grown up. But guess what? It doesn't really matter, does it? What matters is that they know we love them, we're teaching them to love God and each other, and that's what counts.

Camping Weekend

I told the kids this would be a special Labor Day weekend, we'd do camping activities. Not actually go anywhere, just pretend that we were camping and so...

Campfire. Followed by rain, just as we were opening up the marshmallows and chocolate for smores. Good thing we weren't really camping, we moved inside and warmed up the marshmallows in the microwave. Can't do that in the great outdoors! This was followed by another not-outdoors activity, movie night and a sleepover in the living room instead of beds.

Today we went for a walk in the woods, just long enough to satisfy the kids but short enough to avoid any other problems. Such as injury, bug bites, fatigue, boredom. Ha! Injury follows us everywhere. Our walk was on church property, two days in a row at church, plus three kids, equals four injuries. And that's the math lesson for the day!

Week One Done

There's another kid in the first day of school pictures. Funny how quickly things change, how God just sticks another one in there and he belongs perfectly, right there between his older brother and sister. I love how they take care of him in their own way, how they bring him toys, push him in the stroller, make him laugh. Shelly was twirling around in her dress and E thought it was the funniest thing, he laughed and laughed, she twirled some more. It was one of those perfect moments.

Now for the school update...

How was school, Shelly? "Better than I expected. Except for the yelling." Sigh. Did the teacher yell at you? "No, there was just a student who wasn't behaving." I hate that. As if the bus wasn't bad enough (for me, not her). Now, the teacher yells? When Shelly got off the bus this afternoon she had to cross busy Four Mile Road to get to me.

I waved her forward as if she were crossing a tightrope over a deep chasm, with rocks and raging water below. She took her sweet time, walking in front of the bus and stopped cars and finally, FINALLY, after a million years she was in my arms and I was hugging her and she was saying, "Don't ruin my star!" I cried again, the first time was after putting her ON the bus, now she was safely in my arms and I was so relieved that I cried.

When Archer got on the bus on Thursday morning I congratualted myself, the first time that I didn't get all emotional on the first day of school. This is his fourth year of school, after all, we're old pros. We said hi to the kids at the bus stop, and the moms, that we hadn't seen all summer. We discussed teachers, how tall our kids have gotten, how time flies. Then, goodbye! Bus comes and goes and they're gone again, starting another school year.

Its going to take us a week or two to adjust and once we know what's going on it will all be over. That's the theme of motherhood, growing up, everything. Just when you think you know how to handle it all, its over. New chapter. Adjust or perish! And of course, the Lord is there always, nudging me forward with each new step. Leading me on as I ask him again and again for safety for my children, and wisdom in the choices I make as their mother.

Trust in him at all times, you people;

pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
~ Psalm 62:8

For a trip down memory lane, visit...

Archer Starting 4K
Kindergarden
First Day of First Grade