I Wish

Today Shelly let me hold her and dance in the kitchen. Usually she doesn't let me carry her around for long before she gets antsy and squirms out of my arms and then runs away. She's too busy to let Mom slow her down for long. She has to keep up with her brother. Today I held her and swayed slowly and rested my cheek on her cheek for two whole songs. We sang a little but mostly we were quiet. She just let me hold her.

I wonder if her willingness to stay close to me was related to her comment this morning: "Mom, I wish I was a baby. Like Eli." Probably. She sees me holding him constantly and maybe when I picked her up it was exactly what she needed at that moment. It was exactly what I needed, remembering when she was little like Eli and remembering that they grow away so fast. They get taller and suddenly I can't pick them up and they run off playing games or run up to me demanding that I chase after. But we don't get to cuddle much anymore.

Last night I went into Archer's room to give him a kiss after he'd fallen asleep and I kissed his head and then stood up and was startled to see the boy in the bed, arms and legs so long, face looking so much older. He's only six. But I still remember that little toddler face.