Christmas '08

It was a success, with lots of great gifts and even better than gifts - time spent with family. Thanks to everyone who gave to our family, thanks for joining us at our home for Christmas Eve and thanks for hosting on Christmas Day. The kids are fully enjoying the new toys and have already broken some of it, which I guess is good because it means they're playing with it lots.

Lick Me

Last night Shelly kept repeating something that sounded like "lick me." I'm pretty sure that's not what she intended to say but I had no idea what she was talking about and so... I licked her. First her leg, then her arm, then her cheek. And then Archer said "Do it to me! Lick me!" So I did. And of course, what's the logical progression of this game? "Mom, can I lick you?" Not wanting to be a hypocrite, I agreed. "Eewww!!!" We spent the next few hours wrestling around on the floor, giving horsey rides, and piling on top of each other in general chaos. It felt so good to just be silly with them and not worry about homework, or chores, or whatever. Thanks for the fun, kids!

All of a Sudden

It seems like overnight Shelly's vocabulary has expanded and she's even talking in short sentances now. Instead of saying "dee dee" for thank you, she actually says "thank you." And the sentance she says that I can hear very clearly in my head when I think about it is "Hit me. Ah da." Ah da is her way of saying Archer. Sometimes he really did something to her and sometimes not. Its getting tougher for me to know what really happened since they each have their own versions of the stories. Yes, Shelly, not even 2 yet, has her own version!

She's such a sweetheart, she lets me kiss and cuddle her (when she's not too busy with something else) and she comes running to the door when I get home from work. Sometimes she even ASKS me to put her in bed so she can go to sleep! Of course, she also has her share of frustration and naughty moments. She gets so upset when we can't understand her. I try very hard to get her to show me or repeat herself but sometimes she can't even cooperate, she's so frustrated. "No!" she shouts and refuses to talk any more. And if I tell her she can't have something or to stop doing something she shouts "baby!" and hits me! Then she gets a time out. She hates this and will apologize immediatley, her time outs never last longer than 5 seconds.

Its so exciting to watch her learning all these big new things every day, talking more and trying to repeat the things we say. Yaay Shelly!

Winter Wonderland

Last night the kids and I ventured out to the driveway to attempt some shovelling. Once the kids got out of the protection of the garage and into the wind things started going downhill pretty quickly. I gave up shovelling and decided to try to entertain them by getting out the sleds. I put Shelly in a sled and the plan was to take her around to the side of the house out of the wind. Archer wanted to pull her. We only got as far as the edge of the driveway before one mitten, two boots and a hat flew out, and the girl bailed, leaning over until she tipped out of the sled and into the slush. And that's how our first sledding adventure of the season ended. I order Archer to retrieve Shelly's boots, mitten and hat and we all went inside for hot chocolate and marshmallows. Or in Shelly's case, marshmallows with a tiny bit of hot chocolate.

Guest Post by Grandpa

Mom and Dad were kind enough to take the kids for a sleepover so David and I could get some Christmas decorating done without help from the little elves. This is what Dad wrote about the weekend.

We didn't have time to talk on the kid-transfer, but I wanted to let you know that Archer and Shelly done you proud. Saturday we went to the craft fair at Whitnall High School. There were hundreds of vendors selling all kinds of baubles, trinkets, candies and other assorted junk; all of it within easy reach of a child. We walked for 30-40 minutes through this mass of people and vendors and the kids just followed peacefully along never once reaching for, or grabbing anything! Archer peacefully was singing jingle bells most of this time. We did buy them a popcorn as a treat for being so good.(which grandma had the sense to get a second bag so they wouldn't argue over who should hold the bag.)

In the evening we went to the Hales Corners tree lighting at 6 p.m. It was freezing outside and the kids hung in there through 2 full songs by the band before Archer (because he had no snow pants) said that he was getting cold. Both Shelly's boots had fallen off, so we went inside where there were quite a few parents and grandparents who had brought their kids in. We had to wait half an hour for the program to move inside, then they sat through another half hour of story time, then they peacefully stood in line to see Santa for another half hour. (We had taken a bell with us and the reader asked Archer to ring his bell when we got to the right spot in the story of The Polar Express) No problems at all. All of this with tables piled with cookies within easy reach. We allowed them one cookie when they were first brought out and they never said another word about getting another one! All that waiting and temptation and they just stood quietly, nice job Mom & Dad.

Archer said this was his first visit with Santa. You should know that he asked for a fire truck. Shelly allowed Grandma to move close to Santa, but she wouldn't go to him, she asked for a dolly. (someone forgot their camera in the scramble to get hats, mittens, coats, boots, etc. all loaded and off to the library, sorry) Archer told me when we got home that he knew that wasn't the real Santa. I asked him if he thinks this Santa will call the real one and tell him what all the kids asked for. He said yes, he thought he would. They were so good we let them have a second cookie on the way out.

I won't go into all our activities here at home but some of the other highlights included landing paper airplanes in the Christmas tree, kung fu panda jumping in piles of pillows, crash bandicoot with boxes in the basement, grandpa giving a ticket to Archer for making the Christmas lights blink too fast and putting tape all over grandpa while grandma was wrapping presents. I woke up with 3 pieces of tape still on my sweatshirt this morning. ummmm.... Life is good. Hope you had a nice weekend, we sure did.

Love
Grandpa

Melodies

Shelly's really started talking a lot within the last month, she makes the sounds and though the words aren't always clear, if you listen for the melody you can understand the meaning. Archer often says "I gotta tell you someting." And Shelly now says the phrase, understood only by those who have heard it a million times from Archer. The song is the same though the sound is slightly different. And then there are words that are so clear there's no denying her meaning. Mine! I do it! I make it! Wait! Up we go... peas. Beebee. (That means baby.) And let's not forget the best one of all - NO!

We saw the miracle of language with Archer and now we get to watch it happening all over again, in her own unique way. Those sweet young voices sound like music and I'll miss them when they're gone, all grown up.

Hibernation

When I got home today I was so exhausted that all I could think about was going to sleep. I think the cold weather and early sunset are putting me into hibernation mode, and I would have gladly curled up in a dark room under a mountain of blankets if it hadn't been for... the kids. Of course I couldn't go hibernate in bed, it was only 5:00! They were waiting for supper, and looking for attention, and wanting to sing songs and play and... So I laid down on the couch thinking I could stay there for a few minutes and at least feel a little refreshed before they were after me for PB&J. Nope. My only hope was caffeine and a prayer. So I opened up a Diet Coke and sent up a prayer, asking for energy and patience and PLEASE LORD give me some energy! And He did. Before I even realized it, I had finished making supper (just mac and cheese) made up a new song (about mac and cheese) and gotten Shelly into the bathtub (to wash off the mac and cheese) while Archer willingly went around clearing the table, picking up toys, cleaning his room, and putting laundry away. The kid who says "NEVER" in response to being told to help with chores, tonight ran around willingly doing everything I told him. The girl who usually takes off the second I take her diaper off, forcing a race around the house to catch the naked baby, tonight laid still and made no complaints as I got her ready for bed.

And now, after feeding the kids and putting them to bed, its time for me to finally go crawl under the blankets and hibernate.

The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.
~ Lamentations 3:25, NLT

One Job

Archer and I were talking about chores and I asked him what his chores were. He started listing a few things, and then he said to me that he has one job that he takes with him wherever he goes. This job stays with him, because its inside him. And he takes it with him everywhere, and he does this job everywhere. He said his job that he keeps inside him is cleaning up. I'm proud of him for knowing this is his responsibility no matter where he's at, and his willingness (sometimes, anyway) to actually follow through and DO his job!

I want that...

...for my birthday! Mom, did you hear me? Did you see that? I want that for my birthday!

I've been hearing that about a hundred times a day for the last week or two. Every commercial he sees is another item for the birthday list. Finally tonight I told him if he said the word "birthday" one more time I'd turn the t.v. off. It took about 1 minute for him to say the forbidden word and off it went. Peace and quiet? No, not really.

The kids went downstairs to ride their trikes around and it wasn't long before there was screaming because they were running into each other and not sharing the space. And then, screaming for the other reason - injury. I went down there to investigate and found Archer on the floor under his trike. "Mom! Now Number 1 can't finish the race because Number 1 fell off his trike!" I then observed a re-enactment of the tight turn that caused the accident (at slower speeds). Happily, the ability to do the re-enactment means that there was no serious injury.

Now Archer's a frog and saying "ribbit!" and Shelly's following right behind saying "ree a bit!" Now they're into something in the closet... I suspect its the hidden Halloween candy. Gotta go!

Halloween

This is the first year we've actualy gone out to collect candy. Shelly got the hang of it pretty quickly once she realized there was candy involved. She held the bag wide open and ran as quick as her little legs would carry her up to each door. She even overcame her fear of dogs to get close enough to grab a treat. It took us an hour to get around the block and that was enough candy for us.

Pics are here...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9024737@N07/show/

My Little Girl

A couple times a day I look at her and say, "No, Shelly, I can't pick you up. You're getting too big." And then when I look all the way down to her and see how small she is I'm amazed she can do so much. For example, one night I was reading or something, and David walked in, just getting home from work. "What are you doing up there?" I looked over, and there was Shelly STANDING on the kitchen counter! Now, Archer is a climber. He always has been. He loves to climb, and especially jump off whatever he just climbed. Shelly's more of a dancer and singer, she loves music. But she loves following Archer's example too, and I'm sure he had some influence in her learning how to arrange a kitchen chair and a stool so she'd be able to climb onto the counter and walk around up there.

When she wants something, she no longer relies on trying to tell us (well, she does, but she knows it doesn't always work), so she takes us by the hand and leads us to whatever it is she wants. And then she says please. "Peas Mama!" If I try to give her something she doesn't want, she says "No thank you." Only her way sounds more like "No dee dee Mama." And when I just don't get it, she scowls and shouts "No!" clear as can be. I'm trying to learn her language but its not so easy. "Juice" and "cheese" sound a lot alike. And they're right next to each other in the fridge, so pointing doesn't help. Milk is "oak." She doesn't tolerate Archer doing things for her as much anymore, she's ready to do it all on her own.

She's been trying for a long time to jump, she sees Archer doing it and then she bends her knees and with a big thrust up makes all the motions of a huge leap into the air. But her feet never left the ground. Sometimes just the huge effort caused her to fall down. And now, finally, I've noticed her feet actually leaving the floor! She can jump up and she's thrilled to have achieved this and come a little closer to being able to keep up with Brother Bear. Way to go Shelly!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9024737@N07/sets/72157608037514366/show/

First Field Trip - PUMPKINS!

The Four Year Olds of Jerstad Elementary ventured out to the pumpkin farm for an adventure today. It was a great journey, beginning with a bus ride from school to the farm. (First time on the bus for many of the kids, who handled it as if it was nothing new.) After arrival and a quick head count and command to find a partner and hold hands, we embarked on a hay ride through the wild fields of corn, cabbage, and pumpkins. Once we'd made our way safely back to the beginning of the arduous course (without loosing anyone over the side or off the back), we faced the wild creatures who were starved and attempted to eat the children's fingers at every opportunity. Despite all the dangers, the children survived and moved on to the straw bale labyrinth. This proved to be the most dangerous part of the journey. The bales were arranged in a way to thwart even the most skilled map-reader, so the children had no choice, once they were hopelessly lost inside, but to tear apart the walls and celebrate their freedom. Their trials had built up such a hunger that the fearless leaders (teachers and moms) herded the group to a snack break, where cider and cookies were served. The sustinance was just enough to hold them through picking out their own pumpkins and boarding the bus to go back to school.

And now... for my side of the story. It was a little anti-climactic, time seemed to be dragging on at moments, and I wasn't so impressed with the whole thing. This is not because it wasn't a great experience for the kids, it just wasn't anything at all new to me. And I admit, I was a little bored. However, I'm very glad I went, it gave me a view into Archer's life every day, how the teacher handles the class, how the kids interact with each other, and who the other moms are in the group. So it was definitely a learning experience for me. And, I got to bring home a little pumpkin!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9024737@N07/sets/72157608046604087/show/

Road Trip Pics

Here's the link to the long awaited road trip pics...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9024737@N07/sets/72157607829043788/show/

Enjoy!

California, Where the Houses Are Made Of...

We sat down for supper, the kids had ketchup and pickles on their plates (among other things) and Archer dipped his pickle in the ketchup.

Archer: Did you ever hear of a pickle dipped in ketchup?
Mom: No.
Archer: Well, do you like pickles dipped in ketchup?
Mom: No.
Archer: Well, some people do like pickles dipped in ketchup. You know, like people in California, they like it.
Mom: Really? I never heard that before.
Archer: Yeah, I used to live in California, when I was a little baby.
Mom: Oh, I bet the weather was nice.
Archer: Do you know about the houses in California?
Mom: No, I don't know about them. What about them?
Archer: Well, the houses in California are made of pickles dipped in ketchup.

Healthy Choices - for the kids anyway!

It seems like every time I have a discussion with Archer there's just as much conversation happening mentally as verbally. This morning, for example. Archer wanted ice cream for breakfast. I offered several other alternatives, but he was set on the ice cream. Every time I said no to him, I thought about how much I would like to have ice cream for breakfast.

"You can have cereal." Gosh ice cream sounds good!

"You can have a waffle, or yogurt." I'm responsible for this boy eating healthy. When he's not looking I'll have ice cream.

"You can have toast." I can't wait till he takes a nap later on so I can have some ice cream.

"You can have anything in the house except ice cream." I want nothing but ice cream right now!

Mmmm. Archer just went to bed and I just finished my bowl of ice cream.

Time Marches On

I've had a bit of writers block lately. What to say? Everything's just daily life, minute by minute, day by day, passing us by. Wake up, get the boy on the bus, go to work, come home and see what new paperwork he's brought home, make supper with the kids hanging on my ankles, attempt to clean up and go crazy because its impossible to clean up, put the kids to bed and then go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat.

There are the little things that happen all along the way that make each day unique, like Shelly saying "Grandpa" incredibly clearly. So clearly, in fact, that we tried to call Grandpa so she could talk to him but we had some technical difficulties on our end, and when we called back I think he'd taken the phone off the hook cause he was tired of telemarketers or something. Or Acher told us that his class had released the butterflies they'd been raising in their classroom, and that somehow led to a discussion of all the fun things we like about camping. Today Archer told me that I'm ugly because my hair was going everywhere right after I'd towel dried it and hadn't combed it yet. Yesterday he told me I'm the best mom. Shelly's getting better and better at singing Twinkle Twinkle and also mixes the sounds with the ABC's. She very clearly sings "Now I know" right in the middle of all the other sounds... "Now I know my A B Cs!" Archer's favorite game lately is to be a Super Spy, Shelly's favorite game is to follow Archer around while he yells in frustration because he's trying to hide from everyone but she keeps finding him.

Through all of this, I keep hearing the country song "Time Marches On."

Girls Day Out (and One Boy)

We had a WONDERFUL road trip to Argyle. Grandma Shell, Aunt Neesey, Archer, Shelly and I all crammed into Grandma's car and took off on a weekend adventure.

First Stop: Apple Picking at the Elegant Farmer
I'll put some pictures up later, but the couple hours we spent there were entertaining and will definitely be remembered.

Next Stop: Leah's Bridal Shower
There were about 40 women there and about 10 babies Shelly's age or younger. Babies everywhere!! While the girls were at the party, Archer rode the tractor with Farmer Tim hauling manure. For TWO HOURS Archer rode, and Farmer Tim later reported to me that Archer didn't stop talking the entire time! The kid is not shy, and when he has a captive audience there's no telling what stories you'll hear.

Party Time: Grandpa Shorty's House
Six boys, one girl, and seven adults can go through pizza pretty quickly...
By some miracle there were no injuries, no children fell down the stairs or broke anything. Seriously - a miracle. They were running up and dow the stairs, around in circles, wrestling, throwing balls at each other. The whole time Shelly just tried to keep up and every time she got half way up the stairs the boys came down and she started the long journey back down. Up and down and up again.

Bed Time: Tim & Penny's House
Denise and I took over Jessie's room and once the kids got settled we fell asleep pretty quickly. Archer wanted to sleep on the floor, this caused a big dilema for Shelly. She REALLY wanted to sleep next to her brother, but also really wanted to sleep with Denise and I in bed. She laid down next to him on the floor, cuddled up and arranged the blankets just the right way, laid there for about two seconds and then got up, came over to the bed and crawled between Denise and I. She laid down, cuddled up and arranged the blankets just the right way, laid there for two seconds and then got up, got off the bed...

Story to be continued...

In a Jar

I don't know if anyone remembers this post...

"What would you keep in a jar?" I would keep buttons, baby socks, change (don't we all do that?), and I'd like to start keeping dollar bills in a jar to save for a rainy day.

(You can find the rest here http://archerandshelly.blogspot.com/2007/05/jars.html)

Anyway, today I found out Shelly's answer to that question. She had an empty pickle jar (cleaned, washed, ready to play with) and I sat her down at the table to eat supper. She also had 5 bows in her hair (1 is never enough). Add to that the pieces of meatloaf I had cut up for her, and the small fork that fit perfectly inside the jar, and you have Shelly's answer to the above question. Shelly would keep 4 bows, 8 pieces of meatloaf, and 1 small fork in a pickle jar.

Paperwork

I had NO IDEA how much paperwork would be coming home with Archer on a DAILY basis. What in the world?????

He brings home fundraiser stuff, articles, fundraiser stuff, class picture order forms, fundraiser stuff, book order forms, fundraiser stuff, calendars, fundraiser stuff... How much money have we given to the school district through our property taxes since we've lived in this house? NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE! They want us to buy books, collect box tops, sell stuff, bake stuff, and to top it all off... volunteer at the events where they're selling what we baked!

I know this is all part of having a kid in school. But I thought we'd get involved gradually. Like ramp up the fundraising and baking and volunteering requests starting out with just a little bit his first year of school and a little more and more as he gets older. Apparently I was very mistaken - they're gonna grab us right out of the gates and now, I realize, they've got a captive audience for the next 14 years. Why not exploit the opportunity and squeeze every bit of time and money out of us that they can?

All right. I'm sounding awfully unhappy about it. The teachers seem great so far. I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed. So far Archer has learned a song about how to walk in the hallway (look at the person in front of you, keep your hands behind your back), a song about saying hello and goodbye, and a song about cleaning up. And I've learned - now is the time to know my limits and start saying no to requests from the PTA that will just put me over the top.

Happy School Year Everyone!

PS - If anyone would like to purchase pizza, cookie dough, gift wrap, tote bags, wreaths, magazine subscriptions, candy, Christmas ornaments, candles, flower bulbs, soup mix, pie...

Well, you know where to find us. Just call us before September 29th!

And... We're Off!

We're on our way down the path of a new adventure, a new routine, a whole new world. Archer's had art and music class, been the kitchen helper to clean up after snack time, ridden the bus to and from school. He seems to like it so far. And like all the other adventures we face in life, I know there will be hard times, fun times, things we'd rather forget and things we'll remember forever. We'll count on God to keep us always going in the right direction. Here we come!

Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.
Proverbs 4:25-27

The First Day...

Tomorrow Archer starts his first day of school. He will ride the school bus. We will send him out into the world for the first time, without family. I'm terrified for him. I'm anxious for him, nervous, I had to go to parent orientation today and I felt like it was MY first day of school.

Remember that feeling, on the last day of summer vacation? You were excited to go back but nervous too. When I was done with school I thought I'd never have to feel that again. Well, as usual, I was wrong. Its my turn to feel it for my son. He hasn't said that he's nervous or scared, why should he? We've been telling him nothing but great things. He doesn't have any reason to be nervous, he has no idea what's in store. And so this innocent boy of ours will step onto the school bus tomorrow morning at 7:45 and ride to school, get out and make his way into his classroom to meet new kids and teachers. On his own. Without me.

There are so many things going through my head right now, how I don't want kids to be mean to him, I don't want him to be intimidated, I want him to have lots of friends and lots of fun. I hope this beginning of this part of his life is a good one, he'll spend the next 14 years (at least, maybe more!) in school, talking about school, trying to get through school, maybe trying to get out of school. Today is pretty low key, we're just hanging out at home, doing our usual stuff. I keep looking at him wondering if he's ready. Of course he's ready. Am I? This little boy who seems so grown up to me suddenly seems too young to leave our house and learn more independence. He's too young to go out into the world without me. He's so ready for it.

Seriously!

How did they do it? Our moms, grandmas, great-grandmas had more kids, less appliances, less pre-packaged frozen food. How did they not go crazy?

I have a recipe book of meals that take less than 20 minutes to prepare, and tonight it took me an hour! Every time I opened the fridge or a cupboard, Shelly was there to pull out extra stuff. Archer wanted to help mix. Eventually... Finally... We got to eat.

Mini Golfing with Children

Let's just say its not easy. Shelly wanted to pick up anything that moved and then she threw it in the general direction when we pointed towards the hole. Archer putted once per hole (after swinging several times while we all stood a good distance away) and then picked up his ball and dropped it into the hole. David and I shared our balls with the 2 kids and by the time we got to the 10th hole we weren't even trying to golf anymore. The goal was just to keep the kids happy. There were great claims from David that he would take me out again without the kids and beat me at the game. I told him he was right, I've never claimed to be good at any sport involving balls and judging speed and distance. Ah, adventures with kids!

The Rules Are Paying Off!

Do you ever have those moments that you know you'll miss some day, but you can't stretch them out while you have them? Putting Shelly to bed is one of my favorite times of day. No matter how grumpy she gets, I hold her and rock her and sing. She quiets and I rock her, holding her close and enjoying the moment. Sometimes she wraps her arms around my neck, sometimes she lets her body go limp and I close my eyes as we both wind down for the night. Every night, after I put her down and walk away, I think about how much I love those moments and I'll miss them when Shelly gets too old for me to rock her. We have a different routine with Archer, lots of kisses and promises that we'll come back to check on him in "these many" minutes, holding up four or five fingers. Tonight he's waiting for us to come back and passing the time talking to Curious George. Bed time is now the most peaceful time of our day.

A few months ago it was the complete opposite, crying, yelling, throwing toys and general chaos. Its amazing what a few months can do. I have to admit that we're still not 100% consistent on every little thing, but we've gotten better at generally laying down the rules and trying to stick with them. And its paying off. Hallelujah!

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.
~ Psalm 4:8

Road Trip Pics

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDBlsVLjQGc

Home at Last!

We're finally home from a five day road trip around the state to visit as many family members as possible.

Day 1: Racine to Black River Falls

Saturday Aug 16

We started a bit late and under-estimated the amount of time we'd need to reach our destination, but didn't get there too late to completely miss the party. The evening closed with a nice visit around the camp fire. The kids were surprising un-afraid of the dark and loved the independence of running around and playing with everyone. Archer made great friends with Pete and Sadie, but Shelly was terrified of the rough-housing between the two and wanted nothing to do with them. When we crawled into the tent, Archer fell asleep right away, but Shelly got her second wind and climbed back and forth from one side of the tent to the other, and over everyone in between. She did this for about a half hour before she finally settled down.

Day 2: Black River Falls to Bloomington

Sunday Aug 17

Lisa was kind enough to provide breakfast before we packed up our tent and moved on to the next destination. After a stop in town for fuel and some supplies, we headed south towards Bloomington. The rolling hills and beautiful farmland were enjoyable for David and I, but the kids were more interested in singing and eventually sleeping. We stopped along the way a few times more than we would have had to if Archer hadn't been so worried about bugs in the toilet, but I can't really blame him... (A "rustic" wayside means pit toilets, and for city kids like us, its not so appealing. We left and moved on to a more modern pit stop.)

We enjoyed spending the afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa, had fun at the playground and had only one minor injury to report. While I was determined to get the kids as dizzy as possible on the merry go round, and David was determined to lecture me on being more careful with them (especially since its SUNDAY, after all, and there's no place open for stitches, and where's the nearest hospital anyway?), Shelly just couldn't help but use the opportunity (when her dad's back was turned) to fall off a set of steps on the playground and completely wipe out. She ended up with a small cut on her head and a small bruise on her forehead. She survived!

Day 3: Bloomington to Argyle

Monday Aug 18

On the road again... Out comes the map and we stuck the kids in the car once again to head off to the next destination. Our departure from Bloomington was hurried a bit when we realized we were on Shelly's last diaper. After an accident on Day 1 from not limiting soda intake and not stopping often enough, we had learned our lesson and were determined to prevent something similar from happening again. So off we went, through countless more small towns, several pit stops and minimal crying and fights. When we got to Argyle we heard the great news that Stephanie had her baby! Congratulations Travis & Steph!

It was at the farm that Shelly finally started to calm down in her fears of dogs and cats. Champ followed Archer around everywhere, and Archer was entertained by throwing sticks and rocks for Champ to fetch. Shelly was afraid but eventually calmed down a little as she realized that Champ wouldn't knock her down or lick her face off. Fearless Archer had no problem going up to anything that moved to get a closer look, and once we went inside the house he played with Emma the cat non-stop. Shelly couldn't resist the fun and called Emma's name and once she got started there was no stopping her!

Uncle Jim got the kids pretty wound up and left just in time for David and I to have to calm them down. There was lots of running, screaming, laughing and chasing. Who knew a little cat toy could entertain everyone that much?

Day 4: Argyle to Wisconsin Dells

Tuesday Aug 19

Grandpa Shorty took us out for breakfast before a short fishing trip at Hidden Valley. After that, Archer helped Farmer Tim with his chores and went for a ride in the tractor. It was great of Farmer Tim and Farmer Jim and Grandpa Shorty to take time out of their day and visit with us before they had to get back to thir chores.

Just when I thought we were on our way home, David suggested we go to the Dells instead. One of my favorite parts about our trip was not knowing what time it was every second of the day. I hate being tied to the clock and it was nice to just do fun stuff until we were ready to move on, without knowing or caring when we would leave or arrive at the next destination. And so, we took off to the Dells!

We stayed in a hotel with a pool and got some swiming time in before bed. Shelly surprised me again with how she adjusted to the water and gained confidence. I think she doesn't like to see her brother having fun without her, and she didn't want to get left behind!

Day 5: The Dells to HOME!

Wednesday Aug 20

We took advantage of the last day of our road trip to sleep in a bit before heading out to breakfast and then adventures at Pirates Cove. I don't know if its because its the end of the season or the middle of the week, but there were surprisingly few people there and the kids enjoyed the sand box, jumping pillow, and pedal cars without waiting in line or sharing the space with anyone else.

Finally, road trip time was over. Shelly fought getting strapped into her seat more each time we did it and this was the culmination of her fighting the seatbelt. I can't blame her - it was a lot of car time for the kids and we tried to get them into the car at times when they could sleep through the ride, but it didn't make it easier for them. They're so full of bouncy energy that the "road" part of the trip was hard on them. After grumping for awhile she finally fell asleep and we pulled into the driveway at 5:00 p.m.

We drove about 700 miles (that's about 54 inches on the map) and the very best things were spending time with family, making up silly songs in the car and laughing together. Thanks to everyone who fed and entertained us, you made it a fantastic adventure. And - Thank God for family!

Shining Light in Our Hearts

As a parent I try to fill my children with guidelines, rules, values, morals, attitudes, compassion, love, forgiveness, love, happiness, love... What a daunting task. We're all filled with things, passions, interests, loves, how do I pass those things along to my kids? Of course there are plenty of opportunities for them to get filled up with stuff beyond my control. Yesterday as I was looking for a band aid for Archer, he said to me "Did you know when you use band aid brand it locks out dirt and germs?" Today I saw the commercial that said... well, you can guess based on what Archer said. He's getting filled up with lots of stuff, some good, some not so good. I'm making more of an effort to fill him up with good stuff.

What am I filled with? Its not such an easy question, if you really try to answer it honestly. There's frustration, selfishness, all kinds of junk that I'd rather not admit. Of course there are the good things like commitment to my family, honesty, love... But what really shines? And what do my kids see?

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
~ 2 Corinthians 4:7, NLT

Making an Impression

Little Shelly loves the water, loves playing in it, splashing it, watching her brother play in it. What Shelly Bell does NOT love is seeing people go under. Whenever one of us jumped in she let out a screech, arched her back and threw up her hands in despair. When we popped up to the surface she came to the edge to offer her concern and a helping hand. Then she went back to playing on the steps, pouring water from one cup to another, throwing balls and keeping an eye on her brother.

Archer doesn't mind when everyone else jumps in but there's no way he wants water on his own face. He had fun (and surprisingly little fear) captaining his own ship while Denise pushed him around and then shared his raft when Denise needed a break from motoring him around.

The most interesting thing that happened today was when I tried to get him to walk across the pool in the shallow end and he wouldn't do it. But for some reason, he was happy to walk to Denise when she called him over. Its interesting how he'll do something for her but not for me. I think he's showing off. And isn't it interesting that he's only four, so young but completely aware of what he can do to make an impression on someone. How early it starts, our awareness of other people's opinions!

In the end, though, who's opinion really counts?

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
~ Romans 12:2

God tells us not to do what looks good in the eyes of the world, but to follow his word, his path, his wisdom.

Island of Boredom

One of my favorite books ever is Island of the Blue Dolphins. One summer I think I read it 30 times, I knew I liked it so why try something new? Mom was kind enough to find the movie for me and I was disappointed with it (it was made in 1964 so it was obviously dated, but add to that the lack of conversation and things went down hill from there...). But I still have the VHS and during some reorganizing I ran across it again and decided to watch it tonight. Archer wanted nothing to do with it, he was really pushing for Beauty and the Beast. But I got my way cause I'm the mom and my vote counts more than his.

After watching the movie drag on for an hour and a half and finally end, I turned to Archer. "Archer, that was long and really boring. What did you think of it?" His answer? "I thinked it was boring when it was still in the box." There you have it - he told me so.

P.S. I still love the book and hope to read it to my kids when they're old enough to sit still for it. Some books just shouldn't be movies.

New Strength

The Lord has blessed me with so many things but there's a lot of responsibility that comes with blessings. Blessings of a family and a home bring the responsibilities of managing the home and teaching my children the things they'll need to know to survive in this world. What a heavy burden! But also, what an amazing opportunity. I think a lot about creating traditions that my children will remember and be able to count on over the years, what we do for holidays or birthdays, what we do for fun in the summer, how we spend our time together. I believe this is not only to build memories of fun times together, but to give them stability of what to expect, even when everything else in their lives might be changing. But intentionally buidling family traditions is just the start - what about attitudes and reactions to daily events? What can I teach them with my example? When I see something happen, my reaction will shape their attitude towards those events. I guess thinking on such a large scale could truly be intimidating and draining. But the Lord gives us opportunities each day to make the right decisions and act as a positive example to those around us. And he gives us the energy and strength to make those decisions. He's truly a provider!

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength...
~ Isaiah 40:31

Good Old State Fair

Today we went to the Wisconsin State Fair with Mark and Abby. You can always count on State Fair for wonderful smells, a little danger and a lot of fun! The first thing we noticed was the great smell of fried food. Sadly, we did not have the honor of tasting the fried mac and cheese on a stick, but we stopped by Saz's for some great sandwiches. We also enjoyed the livestock barns, pig races (along with goats and ducks!) and the boys all went down the giant slide while the girls stayed below to take pictures. (Shelly acted grumpy most of the time, I think she was too hot and couldn't decide if she wanted to be independent and walk or shy and be carried.)

Now for the real adventure - almost getting trampled by the clydesdales! We happened to be passing by the colesium when some people in yellow shirts started whistling and announcing to get out of the way. The teams were coming out of the colesium to return to the barns and we were right in their path. Now, most people cleared out of the way and stood by to watch, but Archer didn't take the direction, I had been briefly distracted by something else, and David was carrying Shelly. I realized that tiny little helpless Archer was now the only person standing in the horses' path and they were coming up quickly! I grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him (along with the stroller he was pushing around all day) to the edge with only seconds to spare those huge hoofs clomping on by! I looked down at his small feet, his small body and looked up at those huge horses and felt awe and respect for those animals, but even more so for the people in the wagons who so carefully and precisely control those huge animals. Ok, so it wasn't quite as close as I made it sound, the horses were maybe 30 feet away when I dragged him off the road, but that was close enough!

After we all caught our breath from the close call and waited for the giants to pass, it was time for the pig races. This is something I haven't seen for years but really wanted to go back to enjoy again, and to share with my husband and kids. And the pig races (along with goats and ducks also racing) made me realize something - adults do these things for their kids, and then say afterwards, "Wasn't that so much fun?" And the kids grow up remembering it being really great. And then they go back as grown-ups and realize how it really wasn't as great as they remember. Thanks Mom and Dad for doing that for me. I'm passing along the tradition to my kids, "Archer, wasn't the pig race so much fun?" Ugh. It actually wasn't that exciting. Honestly, I felt sort of bad for the ducks, do birds really like to run? Oh well, it was free, and they passed out free sausage sticks on the way in.

Now we can talk about the adventures of the State Fair for a couple years to the kids, before we return again to refresh their memories of the great food, great animals, and exciting pig races!

Don't forget to check the link on the side for more pics

Fun in the Sun

Strange Noises

There's this thing about kids in the house - the weird noises. Even though we try to keep toys with batteries out of the house, they find their way in. Sometimes, randomly out of nowhere, a toy on the floor or in the toybox will feel neglected and remind us that its still alive and kicking... or singing or whistling or wheels rolling. It still startles me sometimes.

These poor toys have been given so much attention and in the process been over-loved. And then one day they're abandoned. And I understand why they suddenly call out in hopes that someone will remember them. Their only hope is to find another child to love them and play with them. Time to go purge the kids' closets and toyboxes to clear out the old stuff!

Wild Animals

As I was just telling Denise... when the kids go without their naps you might as well just lock the doors to the cages and let the wild animals go crazy inside. Any attempts at encouraging civilized behavior fall on deaf ears. And enforcing the rules only causes more chaos.

The real debate of the situaiton lies right here. I can't let them just run wild and disregard all the rules and expectations. But they're incapable of dealing with the slightest stress and melt down at every opportunity. The question is - nap or no nap? Put them to bed now and who knows if they'll sleep tonight? Deal with the crabby chaos and count down the minutes until bedtime? Today, I vote for the nap. Yes its 6:30 p.m. and this will mess up the schedule later tonight. But I put up with it for 3 hours now and I just can't take it anymore!

Now - how to get the boy to sleep without a royal struggle? The Shaggy Dog on tv, a comfy pillow on the couch... He's been siting there for about 10 minutes and just laid down. My guess is he'll be out within the next three minutes!

Scaffolding

by Seamus Heaney

Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;

Make sure that planks won't slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.

And yet all this comes down when the job's done,
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.

So if, my dear, there sometimes seems to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me,

Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall,
Confident that we have built our wall.

********************

David, today is our fifth anniversary.

I'm proud of you and me, proud of what we've done in the last five years. We work together during the day to build the business in which we've both invested so much time. We work together in the evenings and weekends to build the family we've created together. We've definitely had our rough times. But the good has outweighed the bad and we've come out stronger for every struggle we've endured.

You're an amazing man and I want the world to know it! You never let me go to bed angry, you make me laugh when I'm sad, you take care of me and provide for our family. Its been so much fun making this house into a home and growing our family from you and me to include two more people who have their share of both of us in them. In their faces, and their personalities.

Remember when I first moved in with you and the yard was nothing but 3 foot tall weeds? And we mowed down the weeds and tilled and hauled fill and topsoil around and planted grass seed and hoped it would grow? And it did.

And remember the next year when we dug up the grass to put shrubs in? And the whole time I was thinking - we put so much work into growing this grass and now we're breaking our backs to dig it up. And we put in shrubs and flowers and they grew.

And later we dug up the yard more to put in the patio and deck and flowers and a tree.

Honey, when I was growing up I always hated yard work and helping with home improvement projects. But with you its always been a great adventure that we get to do together. I love working on projects together. The tiller before we had grass - was it 100 degrees that day? The trencher to dig the trench to bury the drain pipe but the machine almost buried itself. The auger to dig holes for the deck ("Let go of it!" "I can't! My hand is buried under the handle!" Another one that almost buried itself). The tamper to pack down the sand (that thing was a bucking bronco!) and the wet saw (good idea getting my dad to do it...), and the power rake and the aerrator (ANOTHER bucking bronco).

Remember making all our flower arrangements for the wedding and coming home to find the dog had eaten everything and spay painted his face green? Remember the day we brought Archer home? And Shelly? Remember where got each of the pots that now sit above our kitchen cabinets? And how great the walls and carpet looked before we had kids? ;)

We've been here in this home only a few years but already have so many great memories. And I know that there will be tough times ahead, that's what life will always bring. But I also know there will be lots of fun things and I can't wait to share them with you!

I love you so much. Happy Anniversary!

Reflections

Mom and Dad took the kids off on a road trip adventure that included an overnight stay in Argyle. Sunday morning they went to Amerifest at Denise's church and then made their way to Argyle for a visit to the farm. Today they visited a model train display with Nana and Papa.

Here's the thing... Sending my kids out into the world, without being by their sides to make sure they say please and thank you (yes, even Shelly can say these things), without reminding them to not shout when they should be quiet, or reminding them to use napkins and not their shirt-sleeves, this whole thing makes me a little nervous. Actually, a lot nervous. When I was a kid I really didn't understand how my behavior reflected on my parents. I get it now. If my kids are out of control that means I'm not in control and you don't need me to go into how parents are judged for their kids' behavior.

So when Mom and Dad and Denise all told me how well the kids behaved, I was relieved and truly happy to hear they acted the way I hope they do. The minute Mom and Dad dropped them off with me, however, there was a complete 180 degree turn-around. Archer and Shelly must have used up all their stores of polite behavior with their grandparents because it was nowhere to be found once they were home. Crying, tantrums, hitting (Shelly hitting her brother, what in the world????). They were worn out, hungry, and just plain had no space left for good manners. They smelled like sunscreen and sweat and needed baths to wash off the adventures they'd had and start to calm down and settle back into home. Its amazing what a trip like that does to them - they had lots of fun and were gone for less than 48 hours but I really think it completely threw them off track and wore them out. I like the peace and quiet that David and I have when we get a little break from the kids, but I'm learning the peace is an opportunity for me to shore myself up for the chaos they bring with them when they come home. Going on adventures away from home is lots of fun but lots of work for them too. And when they come home to unwind, I've got to be prepared for it.

Thanks Mom and Dad and Denise for your encouragement and letting me know the kids did well. Thanks for taking them on an adventure that they'll be talking about for quite awhile (ok, maybe not Shelly but definitely Archer!)

Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to keep going, keep persevering and trying to send my kids in the right direction. Thank you Lord for the people in my life who are supportive and encouraging to me. And thank you Lord for the small steps in the right direction that you've accomplished in my life.

Lord, you will grant us peace, all we have accomplished is really from you.
~ Isaiah 26:12

More so, Lord, I ask you to help me remember what I'm doing in my life, with my actions and decisions, is a reflection on you in the same way my children are a reflection on me. This is a heavy burden but also a great opportunity. What can I do with this opportunity?

"Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come."
~ 1 Timothy 4:8

I found these quotes from Charles Schulz (you know, the creator of Charlie Brown)

- That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.

- I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

His secrets to life are the secrets to parenthood. The moment you quit worrying if your baby is late in learning to crawl, you start worrying he's late in learning to walk, talk, etc... The moment you've got one thing figured out you've got something else to learn. And you just have to hang around long enough to realize its always some new worry and that's how it is, its nothing to worry about that there's always something to worry about. Did that make sense?

My friend reminded me me one day - "Don't borrow trouble." How true. I'm worried about Archer going to school and all the bad things that could happen. But its 2 months away still, and maybe none of the bad things I'm thinking about will happen. He'll probably love it. So I need to quit worrying about something so far in the future and think about what I can be doing for my kids today to prepare them for that future.

Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
~ Philippians 4:6

And oh what He has done for us! A wonderful husband, two beautiful children, and He's provided for us everything we need. Thank you Lord!

Deep Waters

The last couple of months have been tough. I guess that's why I've been neglecting the blog a bit. But things seem to be calming down a little bit for the moment. A few months ago Archer finally got the hang of potty training. I was really beginning to doubt myself. (What kind of mom am I? What if he can't go to school in the fall because we don't have this figured out yet?) Well, Archer's doing really well and I'm confident we don't have to worry about him getting kicked out of school. When I realized that we had it mastered, I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought maybe we could coast for awhile on the victory of no more pullups.

What was I thinking? Haven't I learned by now? No coasting when you're a parent... Big problems with the boy's attitude. And Shelly's attitude too, for that matter. Little Miss Drama Queen takes her lessons from Big Brother. Crack down on the attitude. We've gotten very familiar with the time out spot. And made some progress.

Can we coast yet? No... Its time to deal with bed time. The boy who is 4 years old and never been seriously required to sleep in his own bed. Well, that's enough. Bed time is no longer at whenever he decides to fall asleep anywhere in the house. Bed time is when Mom & Dad say, and in his own bed. Its getting better but the kid still tries to negotiate every little thing. One more minute, one more...

Parenting requires patience but more, requires perseverence. Lots. And faith. Cause I don't have the strength to get through it without someone much bigger, much stronger than me!

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you…
~ Isaiah 43:2

Something Really Bad

Something really bad happened in our family this past weekend. Something that was completely preventable, a stupid mistake on my part with serious consequences. Something I'm smart enough "to know better" but didn't think of it anyway.

Sunburn.

Bright red, burning, itching, sunburn. Completely preventable if I had just applied sunscreen. And here's the best, or maybe worst, part about it - it happened TO ME. MY OWN BACK. It just figures. I'm so cautious, careful, attentive to my kids' skin. And then on Saturday I mowed the yard and got probably the worst sunburn I've ever had. Awful.

Finally this morning I thought it was nearing the end and then tonight - blisters. About a hundred little blisters, the size of dimes all over my upper back.

I feel just plain dumb for letting this happen, there's NO WAY I would have let this happen to my kids. Why is it I'm so careful about taking care of my kids and so careless with my own body? There's something about it - people can neglect themselves, feed themselves bad food or maintain bad habits. But when it comes to kids, society doesn't let adults get away with that kind of neglect. I guess its because kids are too young to know better, to know how to take care of themselves. But as adults, are we really acting like we know what we're doing?

Its a good thing we have someone else watching over us, cause on our own I have a pretty good feeling we wouldn't get too far...

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19

Kids' Words

Archer told me about the food chain the other night, it went something like this:

Chicken comes from the grocery store, and before that it comes from the factory. The factories make the chicken and all the other things that sposed to be at the grocery store. The factory makes milk, the cows give us milk, cows, or the factory where the teeny weeny people live in the cow factory, then they send the milk to the grocery store then the poeple bring the milk to the houses cause they runned out of milk.

He tells me stories like this all the time, what fun to see the world through his eyes, as he tries to piece together all the things he knows into a logical way that the world works. (Who are the teeny weeny people?)

Shelly has a list of words she's saying now, this has just happened over the last few weeks and its fun to learn more of her words along with her, and try to translate them...

She says Archer but it sounds like "Ah Da"
Thank you sounds like "dee dee" or "dada" but really short sounds, not like when she says Daddy which is more like "Dah dee"
Please sounds like "ees," and cheese also sounds a lot like "ees"
She says "e i e i o" when we sing "Old McDonald"
She moves her lips along with the words when we sing the rainbow song, and sings "purple" and the last part "rainbow"
She sings the melody of the first part of the alphabet
She says "up ees" when she wants to be picked up, and "up ees" when she wants down
All done is "ah da"
And let's not forget her favorite word - NO! When she shakes her head she puts her head down and shakes and sometimes so hard that she looses her balance and falls down. Its hard not to laugh because she's taking herself so seriously, but she's just so cute!

Most of the things she says we still have no idea what they mean. And mostly I just say to her "show me" and then follow her around trying to guess things.

I still remember the first time Archer said "I love you" to us, I remember where we were and what we were doing. I wish I could remember more of his firsts but I remember lots of them, and life's not ever about going back, its always about going forward. Making room for the next first things that are about to happen and being ready for the future fun!

Yet another bad influence in my kids' lives...

I don't know what it is but it sure looks tasty!

A quote from Archer regarding a childhood drink that I've never seen an adult drink - Sunny D, formerly known as Sunny Delight. I try to keep crap out of our house, I could try harder (we still buy cereal loaded with sugar, hot dogs, canned fruit, and don't even get me started on the Diet Coke problem we have) but I draw the line at Sunny D. That and koolaid - sugar water with neon food coloring added.

Ingredients of Sunny D: Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and 2% or Less of Each of the Following...

Need I say more? Water and high fructose corn syrup? I call that water mixed with crap. And yet, somehow a can of it ended up in our fridge and I couldn't bring myself to just throw it away, after all that would be wasting, right? Wasting crap? Ugh. I should have just thrown it away. Now my kids are drinking it.

So WHY are they bouncing off the walls at 8:00 at night when they should be tired?

A few new pics

1. Shelly's new hair style (its finally long enough!)

2. A tiger prowling in his native habitat

3. Judo? No - Shelly Bell hugging Brother Bear

Camping 2008!

Camping 2008...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3jPz2Q2Ch8

Its nice to have a little sister

Archer is usually too quick for Shelly to catch up to him, and he's usually too busy to slow down for her. But maybe things are changing. He does stop to tell her things sometimes. (Or stop to tell ON her.) When she pulled herself up onto the couch all by herself I was completely surprised and asked her "since when can you do that?" Archer chimed in "I taught her how to do that!" I'm not sure if he really did but either way I think its nice that he takes an interest in helping her learn things.

Last night David and I were sitting on either end of the couch with Archer in between. Shelly climbed up onto David's lap and then crawled over onto Archer's lap and put her head on his shoulder and her arms around his neck. And he put his arms around her. And they just sat there, for three or four minutes. Archer gently patted Shelly's back and she stayed on his lap. I watched them and felt so full of love for these two children who almost never slow down enough to even acknowledge each other in passing because they're so busy, and now sat hugging each other in a gesture of trust and companionship. Shelly got squirmy and climbed down off the couch to find something else to do but was back again soon and when she lay down with her head on Archer's lap my heart swelled again. Archer said to us, "its nice to have a little sister like Shelly."

Its awesome to have children like Shelly and Archer.

Father's Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh5U7HUlZcI

Pay Attention

Today I received this verse in my inbox:

Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.

~ 2 Chronicles 7:14

I found the verse in context and the sentence prior got me thinking.

At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you. Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land. My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to every prayer made in this place.

~ 2 Chronicles 7:13-15

God was obviously telling Solomon that difficult times are not random and out of His control. The Lord uses all kinds of things to get our attention. Brining us to our knees in hardship should bring us back to His love and forgiveness, and back to His helping hand to lead us forward in the right direction.

This verse reminded me that God is constantly teaching, leading, bringing us forward closer to Him. He puts the pressure on us to teach, and he doesn't hold a grudge when we make mistakes. I'm trying to be a better mom for Archer and Shelly. I'm trying to teach the important lessons through the mistakes they make, but I need to remember that love is not quick to anger, it is quick to forgive. And in turn, I hope they forgive the mistakes I make.

Keeping Promises

Something that is always in my mind is the words I use when I tell them what's going to happen in the future, whether its the next five minutes or five days or longer. When I was pregnant with Shelly and David and I took a trip to Disney World I was surprised at the number of times I heard something like this...
"But you said we would do that!"
"Well now we can't, sorry."

Obviously, plans can change, but I want my kids to know that when I promise them something, it will happen. I will keep my promise. Its not a light matter to break a promise. Its better not to say anything about what we might do in the future, that way if things change I didn't have to break a promise. I almost think that breaking a promise is like a lie, one that you put out there and make into a lie by your failure to follow through.

Its so easy to take things lightly, things that we say. But there are so many times when God tells us that the words coming out of our mouths are not to be taken lightly. And there are so many times when I catch myself making sarcastic comments or saying something I don't mean (or worse, things that I DO mean) which should never have been said. Thank God for his forgiveness and patience... And for his commitment to keep his promise, without fail.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
~ Hebrews 10:23

Worry...

I've had a few tough days lately, the kids are driving me especially crazy and I'm not sure if its me that's changed or them, but they seem so intolerable. Anyway, I love them still, of course. But I've been on the edge. And this leads me to all my insecurities about motherhood - how I'm not patient enough, kind enough, disciplined enough, energetic enough... The list goes on.

I had a huge revelation a little while ago, and it was this: God does not tell me to be a good mother with a list of things that make me into a good mom. He tells me to love him, and love my children. That's it. No list, no rulebook about how much tv is too much or about how organized my house should be, or how many vegetables and fruits they should be eating... He just wants me to love him and love my children. That's more about an outlook than a rulebook. Thank the Lord I don't have to live up to all those rules because I already know I'm failing miserably at that! But I'm not failing at following his command to love him and love my family. And through that love, I trust God to teach me and lead me and help me grow. Its definitely not an easy process, but I know he will show me the fruits of the seeds I'm sowing. I just have to wait for his timing.

Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
~ Philippians 4:6

A chance to grow

My uncle Dave could probably tell you a lot about endurance. He runs marathons, and I don't know how long he's been doing this but I'm sure if I asked, he'd tell me it took a long time to be able to run that distance without a complete breakdown.

I think parenting is really similar. So many times I rush into things and expect to be able to run full speed ahead from beginning to end, with no planning or training in advance. Parenting requires endurance and this doesn't come overnight. It comes with lots of practice and work. And sometimes that work is hard, painful even. But like running a marathon, it comes with a huge sense of accomplishment and pride when the goal is finally achieved. I'd like to think that each day as a mom is a step closer to the finish line, to achieving the goal. Yes, I know, parenting is a job that's never finished. But the little struggles along the way are their own accomplishments, and getting through each test is another goal achieved. Its so easy for me to get discouraged that things aren't going the way I want, so easy for me to forget the big picture. But if I step back for a moment, I realize these are chances for me to grow, and to teach my children. I'm not a perfect teacher, or a perfect mom. But I'm working on it and improving each day.

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ~James 1:3

Birds & Bees

David and Archer sat down together to watch a movie a little while ago. I didn't sit down with them right away, but from the other room I heard David say to his son, "They're making a baby!" WHAT??? This is a KID'S movie! What is this world coming to??!!?? I ran into the room to see the mom and dad robot... opening a box. They were assembling parts to make a baby. Whew!

One Tough Cookie

Exhibit A - Shelly fell down outside yesterday, started crying, got up and came over to me. That's when I saw the giant thorn from the rose bush sticking in her face. I pulled it out and it started bleeding profusely. But she seemed fine.

Exhibit B - Shelly wiped out in the kitchen tonight, causing an emergency visit to the hospital. David bet she'd get 3 stitches, I bet 5. She ended up with 4. She cried when she first fell down but after that she was so brave, she didn't cry at all. She didn't cry, or even squirm, when they put the stitches in. She laid perfectly still.

Exhibit C - We went out to dinner after the emergency room visit to celebrate surviving yet another minor catastrophe. Shelly was feeling so good that she shoved me out of the way and took over my tomato soup. The evidence on her face suggests that she's feeling well despite the trauma.

This picture is definitely not one of Shelly's PRETTIEST moments, but it IS one of her TOUGHEST ones. Way to go Shelly, I'm proud of you! And I'm proud of Archer for his patience with the whole situation. And though I did freak out a little bit, I managed to get us all to the hospital safely to see the doctor, so I'm proud of myself too.

(By the way, if you want the gory details... the cut is about an inch long and its deep. They said its a good cut because its so straight, so its easy to fix. You can see there's also another scrape going the other direction from the cut, and some skin missing. She has a serious bruise on the inside of her lip and a small one on the corner of her mouth. A couple of different people checked to make sure she hadn't bit all the way through her lip, that's how deep the cut is. When we got to the hospital she and I were both covered with a good amount of blood, including my shirt, her hands, her shirt and coat, her bottle... But we survived, thank the Lord! And, one more thing - her teeth are fine! Thank the Lord again!)

For I hold you by your right hand— I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you'. ~ Isaiah 41:13, NLT

I don't have words for it but he was here for me, even when I didn't know what I needed. He kept me calm enough to drive safely, he steadied the doctor's hand as he stitched up the cut, he gave Shelly peace so she wasn't fearful or in pain. Amazing, God is truly wonderful.

Quick to Listen

Archer rushes so quickly into anger sometimes that I have no idea where it comes from - its like a bolt of lightening that flashes out of the sky with no warning and sets the house on fire. Partly this is the nature of childhood - he's a kid, he's overly dramatic. But I have to wonder if I've been a good example in this regard. Do I actually stop and count to ten before losing my cool? Not as often as I should. And here is the problem, the reason why I don't count to ten and the thing I should really try to remember. When I come home from work all I want is some down time. I'm tired and I've used up all my patience at work. So when I get home, I don't have any more patience, energy, whatever to give to my kids. And right at that moment is when they demand the most of me. They hang on me, cry at me, demand attention and food and you name it. See the problem with this picture? I have an attitude of limited patience and attention. There is no reason why I should think my patience is all used up, or my attention, or my love. Don't these things fall into the category of "the more you give the more you receive"? I'm so focused on myself when I get home that I forget that my kids haven't been anywhere all day. Of course they want my attention, there are a very limited number of people in their daily lives and they want to hear from them. Of course they want to go for a walk, they don't get to leave the house every day like I do.

If I would just stop and think for a second, I'd remember why they need me and why I shouldn't be unhappy when they come to me with those needs. If I was quick to listen, I'd hear what they're trying to say, what they've been waiting all day to tell me. So this is the verse that's going on my refrigerator door to remind me to slow down, remind me that I don't need to speak first, remind me that its just important (sometimes MORE important) that I hear them as that they hear me.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. ~ James 1:19-20

Solid Ground

How often have I picked my kids up off the ground, brushed them off, and given them a little pat to send them on their way? A hundred? A thousand? When they're little its literal and physical, they fall down all the time. I bend down kiss them on the head, tell them everything is ok, and they believe me. The continue on. They count on me to be there to pick them up. As they get older its not always so literal, but I know they're still counting on me. And I want them to know they can always count on me, I'll always be here, no mater what the stumbling block is.

This has made me realize the support that I have around me. As adults, we're not alone, independent, walking on the path without anyone to steady us when things get uneven, rocky, or steep. There are so many people that I turn to for help - for the little things, little puddles I'm trying to jump over, and also the big things, steep hills that I'm trying to climb without falling backwards. I hope that as Archer and Shelly grow, they learn to be independent and responsible, but also realize that asking for help is ok. And that even when they don't ask for help, they are being looked after, and supported, and steadied.

...He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. ~ Psalm 40:2

(Above painting is from this blog http://stevemitchelldesign.com/WordPress/?p=18 )