The First Day...

Tomorrow Archer starts his first day of school. He will ride the school bus. We will send him out into the world for the first time, without family. I'm terrified for him. I'm anxious for him, nervous, I had to go to parent orientation today and I felt like it was MY first day of school.

Remember that feeling, on the last day of summer vacation? You were excited to go back but nervous too. When I was done with school I thought I'd never have to feel that again. Well, as usual, I was wrong. Its my turn to feel it for my son. He hasn't said that he's nervous or scared, why should he? We've been telling him nothing but great things. He doesn't have any reason to be nervous, he has no idea what's in store. And so this innocent boy of ours will step onto the school bus tomorrow morning at 7:45 and ride to school, get out and make his way into his classroom to meet new kids and teachers. On his own. Without me.

There are so many things going through my head right now, how I don't want kids to be mean to him, I don't want him to be intimidated, I want him to have lots of friends and lots of fun. I hope this beginning of this part of his life is a good one, he'll spend the next 14 years (at least, maybe more!) in school, talking about school, trying to get through school, maybe trying to get out of school. Today is pretty low key, we're just hanging out at home, doing our usual stuff. I keep looking at him wondering if he's ready. Of course he's ready. Am I? This little boy who seems so grown up to me suddenly seems too young to leave our house and learn more independence. He's too young to go out into the world without me. He's so ready for it.