Holiday Spirit

Ok, so I was being grumpy about Christmas and Denise was kind enough to remind me that when I'm grumpy, all I'm doing is ruining everyone else's good spirit. And, on the way home today, I listened to a Christmas song. Breakthrough for me! I decided to have the kids help me decorate the tree, and since they'd be pulling everything off it anyway, I decided we would just put their toys on it, so when they pulled them all off they weren't hurting anything. Ta da!

We had to quit when Archer resorted to throwing his toys at the tree to see if they'd stick in the branches. And so begins the Christmas season...

Sit Still Spot

This is Shelly's Sit Still Spot, its where she sits when I need a break from her hanging on my legs. She doesn't like it when I put her there, even though her feet are just a few inches off the ground she can't figure out how to escape the spot, and so she has no choice but to sit still. I keep her quiet with grahm crackers but that usually doesn't last very long before she starts whining. If she could talk, she would say, "I don't like being stuck on this stool, get me off! Its not fair that everyone else is bigger and faster than me, I just want to keep up, so pick me up so I don't get left behind and I can see what's going on!"

But she can't talk, and she's too little to get off the stool by herself, so for the moment, I win. Not for long, though, I know she'll outsmart my plan soon enough, and I'll have to come up with something new...

By the way, the whole time Shelly's sitting on the stool, Archer's taking laps around the house and yelling, first he wants to play horsey, then puppy, then I'm supposed to chase him, then he's supposed to chase me, then we're supposed to jump in a flying leap off the furniture over an obsticle (Shelly if she's been released from her spot), land on our knees, I throw him into the air and catch him by his ankles within inches of his face crashing into the carpet, then... Well, actually, before things get too carried away I have to be the responsible one in the group and end the game. But you get the picture. He's not helping my cause of keeping Shelly on her Sit Still Spot when he's running around like a maniac. Welcome to our circus!

Impending

You know winter is approaching, or has arrived when...

There's snow on your car when you leave work

You can't see the lane lines on the road on the way home

The road signs are covered (100% edge to edge) and its a good thing I know where I'm going cause everything's un-readable

The plow trucks are out in full force to salt the highways

You know a holiday is near when...

The normal traffic at the grocery store is increased by about 100

The average person at the grocery store isn't buying a week's worth of food, they're buying in small, very specialized lists of things, like ingredients for spinach dip, or only chips and soda, or only a giant turkey and some dinner rolls, or flowers and a cheese tray

The kids at the store are extra spunky cause they're out on vacation and enjoying every minute of it

People aren't browsing, they're hunting down the next item from the recipe card they're holding in-hand

And today we've got the chaos of both of these major events, a holiday tomorrow and the first major weather of the season tonight. I'm glad to be home, in my cozy warm bedroom, and not sitting at an airport delayed somewhere, or trying to drive a long distance across the country crammed into a little car. Holidays are nice, and snow is nice, but join the two together and you never know what will happen next...

So, I hope everyone travels safely, dresses warmly, and have a Great Thanksgiving!

Holiday Discussions

Today I was talking to Mom and Dad and the conversation was going something like this...

Who had it last year? Who's having it this year? What time is he having it? Are you going to it? Who's coming to it?

And a whole series of questions along those lines. Dad pointed out that if it were any other time of the year it would be a completely nonsense conversation. We were, of course, discussing Thanksgiving.

There's all kinds of strange conversations that happen around kids every day and they somehow manage to pick up language and context and know excatly what we're talking about most of the time, even when we start to spell words. Tonight Archer said "Oh No!" and I swear, Shelly repeated the words! She's getting to be a good mimic of sounds, and Archer's already an expert mimic of phrases and even repeating the tone of voice. "Excuse me!" He'll say, but not in the polite way, more with an attitude, and then he'll point out to me, "You dropped something!" Adults laugh when kids say adult phrases, but we really shouldn't be surprised, they pick up everything they hear, and now Archer doesn't need to hear it more than once to remember it, one time is enough for him to add it to his vocabulary. Watch out world, he's soaking it all up as fast as it comes at him!

Plus One

Shelly's got another tooth, she's up to seven now and she's DANGEROUS, watch out! Besides the teeth, she's got super sharp nails and doesn't hold back when it comes to getting our attention by grabbing a lip or a nose or a cheek and just hanging on for dear life.

Archer's been showing a lot of indications of jealously lately. He did so well when Shelly first came home that i thought we had gotten lucky and he was going to be just fine with the change. But now that she walks around and picks up his toys, or wants his food, he's not doing so great with it. I don't blame him, she's invading his space and his time with Mom & Dad, but its gone a little too far and we're in crack-down mode now. He was having a tantrum the other day, and she walked into the room and he ran up to her and shoved her down. She started screaming, he was already screaming, and I was about to have a meltdown of my own.

I loaded everybody into the car and went to Mom & Dad's house. Thank goodness they live close. When Archer asked why we were going there, I told him because I needed to be with some other adults. I needed to get to a place where the adults outnumbered the kids... Whew!

Shelly's plus one is her new tooth. Archer's plus one is the new baby sister that's always getting in his way. And my plus one is always knowing there's a place I can go where there will be more adults than kids to help me get through those rough spots.

From Bampaw (again...)

The standard version of Friday nights has become:

1. Too busy at office (again), so request no. 1 is for Bampaw & Mamaw to babysit.... request granted.

2. Mamaw meets Gma Sue at The Casino to pickup 'The Kids'

3. Amy makes request no. 2 and asks if she and her husband can go out to eat before coming to get the kids.... request granted.

4. Amy makes request no. 3 and asks if Bampaw wants to keep the kids overnight.... request denied. (this time)

5. Bampaw released from work to assist Mamaw with babysitting duties

6. Once home and fed, lots of running, toys dragged out, singing, yelling, chasing, eating, drinking, clothes on and off and on again, movie, etc.

7. Mom & Dad show up to take 'The Kids' home for the evening.

8. Quiet time begins at Bampaw and Mamaw's house, usually around 9pm.

There weren't too many deviations last night from the standard version above, except that Shelly now joins in the running and chasing on 2 legs instead of 4.

Some example pics are included here. Archer engaged in some water painting. Mamaw had a 30 year old set that wouldn't even melt in the water, so all the pictures painted were pretty much just water and no paint. Painting ended with Archer spilling the water all down his front (you can clearly see this in the pic of him standing on the bed)

And then we had the episode where Archer wanted to wear one of my ties (while he ran laps) Somewhere along the line, he lost his pants, anyway I tied it for him and the tie diversion ended with him wearing it around his waist and running while watching it flap behind like a tail. Shelly and all were very entertained.

Mom & Dad show up and the kids cry because they want to stay, but they all leave in a flither flather of activity and then we proceed to step 8 as documented above. Shweezo!

Bampaw

Once again, thanks Mom & Dad, for giving David & I a little time without the kiddie kids. I told Dad he should start his own blog because he's been writing more about the kids lately than me, but he didn't want to commit. Oh well, I'll continue to carry the torch, even though its been pretty sporadic lately. I've gotta get back in the mood. Honestly, though, its been hard to want to write about stuff because Archer's been really hard to get along with lately. Whoever said "Terrible Twos" must not have had a three year old.

From Bampaw

We had a very nice day with the kids. You should note that Archer showed up with his shirt on backwards and two different kinds of socks on and that we returned him in essentially the same condition, with the exception that we removed his jeans and put a pair of flood pants on him. Grandma purchsed these pants about a year ago (I believe if you look, the tag is still on them) and as you can see, they are about 2-3 inches shy of the correct inseam for the boy.

Shelly was her usual fussy self everytime you left her behind. Somtimes we would leave the living room and make a full lap around thru the hallway and kitchen and be back in the living room, and there is Shelly whining because we left her, but only a half lap behind the rest of the group. It's good we have a small kitchen because I had to make lunch with 3 pots going on the stove, grab ingredients, pans and utensils from the cupboard all with Shelly hanging on to my pants leg and watching the action from below. (She enjoyed the mashed potatoes and gravy, but vetoed the peas. Archer who stated very firmly that he wasn't hungry, was two minutes later eating the same dish as Bampa (mashed potatoes covered with gravy and green peas on top) After a couple forkfuls, he stated, "This is good!"

Attached are a couple pics, not my best work, but you get the general idea of the day.

Bampa

- Thanks for the recap, Dad, and thanks to both of you, Mom & Dad, for taking the kids for a few hours so we could get some stuff done. As you've described above, its tough to get anything done with the baby and the boy around!

Let's Be Spontaneous!

Tonight I was reminded why we SHOULD NOT EVER be spontaneous when it comes to certain things. Like which restaurant to eat at. As parents, we've learned to keep a mental list of restaurants ok to visit with the kids. These restaurants include categories like kids menu (yes or no), pre-meal snacks (croutons, crackers, etc), noise level (the noisier the better, that way the noise of our own kids will be drowned out by all the other noise), booths or tables (booths are better, they keep the kids more contained), lids on the cups (lids for kids obviously better).

Tonight, we decided to eat somewhere that we hadn't eaten before, and we had the kids. Bad idea. I said to David, "Let's be adventurous." Bad idea. We didn't know the menu, the noise level, the seating arrangements, we were going in blind. Bad bad idea. Now, don't get me wrong, the kids weren't completely out of control, they were just being kids. And the restaurant was nice. But the only thing on the menu that Archer would have any chance of eating was the cheeseburger. And he didn't eat it. And they didn't have booths. And it was very very quiet. So every little screech by Shelly or bang of the fork on the table by Archer was painful. The food was great but when we left, David and I felt relieved to finally be out of there, I was ready for a nap.

So I'm reminded that spontaneity is great with kids, in the right setting. Restaurants? From now on, we'll stick to what we know, and be spontaneous without the kids.

I should know better

I'm the mom, so I'm the one who's supposed to say "someone's going to get hurt!" But tonight, Archer and I were playing, and even though I THOUGHT that phrase in my head, I didn't say it out loud. And I didn't quit the game. And sure enough, someone got hurt.

Archer was running around me in circles, and then I would randomly stick my leg out and trip him and he'd fall down - hard. But when I quit he got upset and told me to stick my leg out when he ran past. And when I didn't, he taunted me. "You missed me! You didn't get me!" We were laughing and having a good time until... someone got hurt. I stuck my leg out, he fell harder than before and immediately started screaming "You hurt me! Owie!!!!" I knew he wasn't exaggerating, either, I could see he landed wrong on his hand. I just couldn't figure out if he had any broken bones because he wouldn't say if it was his wrist or his fingers or what. And so, I took the wait and see approach, which worked out ok because five minutes later he was perfectly fine.

Now before you lecture me about being more responsible, or being more careful because I'm the older/bigger/more mature one, let me just say this. SOMEONE needs to rough-house with the kids to toughen them up. (Oh wait, who do I sound like? Toughen them up?)

Let's try this again - If I get him going, running around like that, he burns up lots of energy so I can get him to bed earlier. (Ok, so there's better ways to burn energy than injuring him.)

Alright, the truth. I like playing rough with him, its fun to roll around and get physical and let him ride on my back playing horsey horsey. I like playing with the Nerf guns. And I can't wait until the two kids are old enough so I can start buying Legos. For them. Really, for the kids, cause I know they'll like them lots. And then I can show them all the cool stuff they can build with Legos, and I can build stuff, and have fun with them...

How come no one tells you that one of the fun parts about having kids is acting like a kid? Rolling around on the floor, playing hide and seek, playing with their toys. Bring on the Legos!

Heartbeats

I spend a lot of time thinking about how fast time is going, and how my kids are getting so big so fast, and how I wish I could slow things down. But tonight, as I lay in bed between the two of them, I thought a lot about how small they are. How young and little and impressionable. They have so much time in front of them, what will they choose to do? And when I think about the things I don't like (like Archer's tantrums, or Shelly's constant need for me to carry her around), I'm usually in the mind-set that they're old enough to be past those stages. But really, Archer's a little kid, not even four years old yet, that's pretty young. And Shelly's still a baby, an infant, of course she cries, why do I expect anything other than that? I just get so caught up in how old they're getting, that I forget how young they are.

Archer might stomp around telling me he doesn't like me when I tell him its bedtime, and Shelly might act like she needs her space to spread out in the bed, but they both fell asleep crowding me. Shelly with her leg hooked over my arm, and Archer with his feet tucked under my legs and his face snuggled up against me. I put my hand on his chest and felt his heart, and I thought about the first time I heard his heart. That fuzzy, staticky sound in the doctor's office when he was only a few weeks along in life, before any other part of him had been formed, that little heart was beating. And that same heart still, in his little body, beating faithfully. Its an amazing thing to be a parent, to know a person before they're even born, to be with that person every day of their life and help them along and then, at some point, gradually release them into the world and watch them take their first steps again and again, first steps into all the new things that they will face as they grow.

So how is it that I keep forgetting how little they are? Its so easy to get caught up in all the new things they're doing and ways that they're growing up. But they're still so small...

Play by Play

Here it is, a play by play of me trying to pick up the kitchen. It could be a ten minute job, but get the two kids involved and it goes something like this:

I go into the fridge to get a soda or put away the leftovers or whatever
Shelly crawls over quick as can be, stands up and starts re-arranging the condiments
Archer walks in to discover what Shelly is up to and then tells me (obviously I'm aware because I'm standing right behind her)
Archer is not satisfied with my response (ignore what Shelly's doing because she's entertained and not making a major mess) so decides to take matters into his own hands and tries to push her out of the way to shut the door
Shelly screams because she's not getting her way
I step in to referee
I pick up Shelly, take her in to the living room, find a toy on the floor that she hasn't played with in the last five minutes, put it in front of her and run (literally, run) back to the kitchen to put a couple more things in the dishwasher
She finds me
I return her to the living room, wonder if I'm letting Archer watch too much Disney chanel, then run (again) to the kitchen to put away a couple more things.
She finds me (again)
We repeat the cycle (again and again)



There must be a better way to get things done but I just can't find one. I try to occupy them with toys but they get bored easily. I try to bribe them with food but they get bored with that too (and its really not very healthy). I feel guilty just turning on the tv, and also Shelly's not that interested in tv anyway. WHEN will she be old enough to play with her brother? I suppose right around the age she's old enough to fight with him... Maybe we should hire a maid.

Trick or Treating

We should have taken some pictures, Halloween was great. Archer refused to wear his monkey costume (even though it still fit), and instead wanted to wear his tiger costume, which Aunt Patti gave to us a couple years ago and its WAY too small. The legs end around mid-calf on him, and the head of the costume doesn't fit up over his head anymore, and it doesn't zip up, but he loves it anyway. Every time the doorbell rang he ran over, opened up the door and greeted the kids with a great big "ROOOAAARRRRR!!!!!" I tried to tell him to be careful not to scare the kids, but he said he was a friendly tiger and I couldn't really argue with him on that point, I mean, he WAS handing out treats, so that would put him in the category of friendly, not scary, right?

P.S. Shell is now walking EVERYWHERE, she takes 5 or 6 steps at a time, her arms out to the side, the first couple steps are confident and then as she progresses she gets more and more wobbly until she finally falls forward or sits back with a thud. All of this is driven by hating to be left behind, hating not being part of the action, and hating not getting to eat whatever the rest of us have. She's constantly grabbing my leg and looking up at me, her eyes saying "why are you leaving me behind? Why can't I have some of that? Why can't I help?"

Part of me is really terrified at the thought of trying to handle TWO kids walking around, fighting for toys and attention (Archer's started pretending to be a baby lately, gosh I wonder why...), and the other part of me is amazed every day at how blessed I am to have these two beautiful children in my life.

Steering

Awhile ago I wrote about knowing that summer had arrived when I smelled it in Archer's hair and now, fall is here, the burning leaves, pumpkins everywhere, and already, before I even realized it, Trick or Treating again! A year ago Archer was 2 1/2, wearing a monkey costume, opening the door for the kids and they were yelling to their moms "there's a baby handing out candy!" I didn't get a new costume for him this year, hopefully the monkey costume still fits. And I'm lucky enough that he hasn't demanded to go out collecting candy yet, I think he'll be just as happy this year as he was last year to open up the door and give treats away.

Something I'm realizing lately, as Archer gets older and smarter, is that its up to me to set the tone for what's going on in our home. Some people may call this mind games or manipulation, but I call it keeping things positive and keeping our house happy. Like tomorrow, when we're handing out treats to the kids, Archer doesn't know he's missing out on the other side of the experience. And I'm figuring out how to get him moving in the right direction before he even realizes what direction he'd rather be going. Manipulation? Steering. Keeping the peace. Not just the peace, the positive atmosphere.