My Superpower

Today I discovered my superpower. Or one of them, anyway. Prioitize.

Shelly was not feeling well, I picked her up from school and she spend the afternoon in my bed watching cartoons and defending herself from E climbing all over her. She asked constantly, "When will Archer be home? Its no fun being sick." She need her playmate. Finally he came home. But stayed outside. And when I told her she wasn't allowed to play outside, because she was sick, she cried long and loud. I powered through. Don't give in on this one, she's sick. Make her stay inside. She thought she was feeling better. But then she couldn't eat supper.

We retreated to my room again and as Archer worked on his homework she again tried to rest while the toddler climbed all over her. Suddenly she started crying, writhing in pain, and I didn't know if he'd attacked her or what. Except... She sat up and projectile vomited ALL OVER MY BED. And her brother. More crying and yelling ensued, and I kicked into my super power mode. Prioritize.

"Get him off the bed!" I told Arch, pointing at E, I picked up Shell and rushed her to the bathroom and sat her down next to the toilet. I ran back to my bed, hoping to clear it off before anything sank in too deep. E still crying, now wandering around saying his version of "towel." (Sounds a lot like "owl" actually.) Shelly crying over the toilet. Archer searching out a towel for his little brother and me rolling up sheets, blankets, unfolded-previously-clean laundry into a big bundle to deal with later. Throwing pillows to the side to try to spare more damage. And now back to the bathroom. Put Shelly's hair up so its not hanging into the toilet. Find some more towels. Strip her down and stick her in the tub for a bath.

And finally, after it had all settled down again, I realized what I had done. It didn't overwhelm me or surprise me, what had happened. It wasn't unexpected and although it was messy, it didn't bother me TOO much. (I did have a gag reflex at one point, can't deny that, the mess just about sent me over the top.) But, in a past life, its something that would have sent me into a spiral of "what next?" and "who can fix this?" That past life of no kids and not knowing ANYTHING. Prioritize. I don't want the puke to soak into my mattress. The toddler was a little messy, but the big brother can help him. And Shelly was crying but not puking anymore.

I seriously felt like a super hero for not having a meltdown. And THAT'S what motherhood has done to me. And THAT'S what God has done in my life. When I pray, He answers. The dumbest little things - "Lord, there's not enough time in the day." And then He answers, things get done, there wasn't as much work as I had thought. Or the mess wasn't quite as messy and I had expected. And He's been teaching me to let go of my "schedule" and let life happen. Archer went to bed almost two hours behind schedule tonight. And it didn't really bother me. Its something I would have been so anxious about in the past. But I'm working though that. GOD is working me through that. There are so many ways He can make things better for us, if we just listen. Big things, little things, just slow down and hear. And that's the REAL superpower. God.

(I prayed at supper tonight, "Help us get our work and chores done that need to be done tonight. Help us know what to do next." Not kidding. An hour later He showed up with a little challenge for us all!)

Five Minute Friday: Focus

"FOCUS!" I'm always telling the kids. And yet, its something I can almost NEVER do. Always there's someone tugging at me for attention, food, help with whatever, hugs and kisses and more attention. Almost always it seems like I'm trying to shut out the noise. Why did God design us to be able to close our eyes and shut out the light, but not be able to close our ears and shut out the sounds?

I lost my cell phone and found it where I had left it, plugged in to re-charge. I'm always loosing my shoes. I lost my expectation for a spotless house long ago, and instead just plead with the kids, "Focus!" and do what I told you to do! Daily, now, Archer attempts to focus on homework with a little brother climbing on him and a little sister who never stops singing. Daily. We try to focus on what's supposed to be done, but there are SO MANY distractions. Each other. Toys. Work emails that never cease flowing into my in-box, and can't be answered until after the kids are in bed.

Stealing this five minutes to write this seems almost like a miracle. That I had five minutes to focus on one thing. Always, though, underneath everything else, there is just one focus. Raise up these kids to love Jesus. Keep the household going and raise up these kids to love and care about each other, and others. And if we can just remember that part, everything else should fall into place.

Linking up with Five Minute Fridays

So Far So Good

Our biggest problem so far has been getting the kids to bed on time. And that's nothing serious, just a new routine.

 

Yesterday, when she got off the bus, Shelly ran ahead of me, leaping like a gazelle and excitedly telling me on and on about her day. Now that she and Archer and in the same school its like they're in the same club. "Did you see when... Do you know... Remember how..." Its great to hear them sharing those experiences together, and filling me in a little when they remember that I have no idea what they're talking about.

Archer starting 3rd grade, Shelly starting kindergarten, and E along for the ride

Shelly's first day of 4K

Archer in 2nd grade

Archer going into 1st grade, Shelly not quite old enough for school yet!

Archer beginning kindergarten, Shelly ready to follow wherever he goes

Arch ready for 4K

I sometimes forget how young they are. Shelly talks like she's ten years older than she really is. Archer's always ready to strike out on his own, forging a new trail. And here they go again, forging into a new school year, no looking back.


Today was nothing spectacular, no "going out with a bang" to finish off the summer. We had three major accomplishments.

   1 - The kids' bedrooms got cleaned, furniture moved around a bit, and a bit of junk thrown away. This is pretty major. The kids even kind of helped me. I told them they didn't have to, but they know me too well. They don't help, LOTS of stuff gets thrown away instead of just a little bit. So they helped willingly. Even smiling!

   2 - David finished clearing out one of our vegetable gardens and replaced it with plants, a garden that (hopefully) won't require as much work as the peas and beans did. Oh yeah, and he harvested a big crop of carrots, the little carrot crop that had no hope of succeeding, it grew and grew and now we've got carrots galore. Wahoo!

   3 - The kids "washed Mom's car." Ha! More like played in the water and a bucket of soap for a couple of hours and despite the soap, came in muddy and needing showers. Which they willingly took, because they were freezing from the cold water from the hose and wanted to warm up.

And that was it. Tonight we'll put the finishing touches on our passports, plan big things and pray for the best.

The End is Near

This is the theme that's showing up more and more over the last few weeks, its everywhere, even in the comics in the Sunday paper. The kids laughed when they read what Grandpa had brought for me. But today, when I told Shelly that tomorrow is the LAST DAY OF SUMMER VACATION, guess what she did? She started jumping up and down like the mom in this picture. She was literally screaming and cheering. She's maybe just a BIT excited for school to start? No first day jitters here, just happiness. Praise God!

Summer Slide & School Starting

Leaving the front door open, leaving without shorts and wearing no shoes?
Yep, we do that.

Over the course of the last three months there's been a definite slide. Bedtime was first, sliding later and later. Other standards followed. Shoes are now optional. Even if they have shoes on, socks are hit or miss. And the new rule about socks? I consider it a "matching pair" as long as they both fit your feet. Colors? Patterns? Doesn't matter, as long as they both fit your feet its a pair. Don't even get me started on the clothes. Most days E is lucky to have anything more than just a diaper. Yes, we've actually left the house with him only wearing a diaper. Yes, I've taken him to the gas station fully clothed but without socks or shoes and let him walk around inside barefoot. The downhill slide in standards includes questions like, "Is it ok to have hot dogs for breakfast? If I feed them ramen noodles for lunch, is having mac and cheese for supper a balanced diet? Because of the cheese?"

Eating peanut butter from the jar while sitting on the dining room table?
Yeah, that's allowed now.

Today I tried to reverse the slide, raise our standards back up a little bit, and we went shoe shopping. Their shoes actually still fit but they're in such rough shape that they barely pass as wearable. So we went shopping. It was the last thing we had to do to prepare for school starting. The kids are very excited about their new shoes, bright colors, no holes.

And then... Tonight we had open house. I thought I was an old pro at this. Shelly's starting kindergarden, fantastic! She has the same teacher that Archer had, great! I know what's going to happen, I know everything the teacher is telling us, the rules and systems and rest time after lunch, got it down. I'm an expert. No sweat. Except it was really hot in the classroom so we were all sweating.

Then we went to Archer's room. There will be three teachers. There is a homework schedule which includes fluency/reading textbook/leveled readers, math facts/worksheet and social studies/science worksheet EVERY DAY. Except Friday, that's not a homework day, its a new spelling list day. Except there will be work on Friday if you don't finish your school work during the day. And you can't go out for recess if you don't bring back all your homework. And your parents have to sign off on everything every day."But its really not very much" she says to me.

I'm getting anxious as she talks. I'm sweating more. I'm having flashbacks to last year when we fought so hard over homework. Even when I told him I wasn't discussing homework anymore because I didn't want to fight and he'd come to me and fight with me over it. Tears. Crying. Slamming doors, on and on. This didn't happen ALL the time, just a couple of times. I'm remembering the worst. And envisioning it happening EVERY DAY. From now on. For the rest of my life. See where this whole thing is going?

I have no idea what to expect and now I'm expecting the worst. I thought I had this school thing figured out. I've obviously got the fear part figured out. The fear just looks different now. I'm not afraid that Shelly will get lost on the bus, I know how the bussing works and Archer will be with her. I'm not afraid she'll hate school, she already loves it. I'm not afraid Archer can't do the work, I know he can. I've invented a new fear to replace my other fears. Fear of homework.

This is where the Lord caught me, caught up in my anxiety about something that hasn't even happened yet. I was excited for school to start and then I heard about the homework schedule and let anxiety steal my joy and its not pretty. So. Deep breath. Pray for peace, take one day at a time, and enjoy the last four days before school starts. And then, it will all be fine. Right? Right Lord? You'll bring us through it all again, as you always do. Thank you Jesus!

My happy campers, always ready to set out on another adventure together.

(P.S. This whole thing makes me wonder - did my parents have the "back to school anxiety" like I'm having now? I thought this was reserved for the KIDS!!)

Jonah. Pride. Compassion. To Be Continued...

I heard that our church was going to start a series on the book of Jonah, so we started reading together as a family. First of all, this little book is the shortest in the Old Testament. I'm sort of wondering how many Sundays our pastor will be preaching on it. But it IS packed full of things to talk about.

The kids and I have taken a few days on it. Shelly and Archer know the basic story, of course, and they know all the right answers. "Jonah didn't obey. He ran away from God. That was bad." But I often find myself stopping after just a sentence or two to discuss the meanings of words, and how someone might have felt, or what something looked like. Sometimes things get quite animated. He was inside a FISH! What do you think that smelled like? "EWWW!!" they cry and hide their faces.

We ended our first day of discussion with Jonah's prayer. Jonah praises God for bringing him up from certain death. We talked about praising God, even when circumstances seem like they couldn't get any worse. Jonah was in the belly of a fish. But he praised God.

Today at lunch we finished the story, and this is what the kids haven't heard as often. That God had compassion on the city of Ninevah and gave those people another chance. They repented, "he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened." But this is where the story turns south, not a happy ending with Ninevah loving God. A disappointing ending with Jonah angry at God for his compassion. So angry that he proclaimed he is "angry enough to die." WHOA! This kind of anger, I think I've seen it on display in my own home. Just last night, in fact, over something really trivial. Human emotions can be so strong, and unpredictable. But Jonah, I think he believed he was justified in his anger.Did that city REALLY deserve forgiveness? I tried to explain to the kids the final words of the book, "Should I not be concerned about that great city?" as God asked Jonah an unanswered question. We don't hear Jonah's answer. Maybe he stomped off to his room and slamed the door and sulked for a few hours, or days. We don't know. But we do see God's compassion.

Before bedtime tonight, we went back to 4:2 and read. "I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity." I asked the kids to think about what that verse taught us about God. They told me their favorite parts. Shelly, "abounding in love." Archer, "relents from sending calamity." And me, "slow to anger." I need that reminder, to be slow to anger. And the kids' answers didn't surprise me either. Shelly is always proclaiming love, drawing hearts and writing love notes to us. Archer talked to me as I tucked him in about a recent tragedy that's happened in a city nearby, and he asked me if God had relented from sending a calamity, by sending in help to prevent a worse tragedy. I agreed with him, the Lord had saved that community from worse.

Sometimes I wonder if they're really getting it, all this vague talk about praising God even in hard times, when they haven't been faced with truly hard times. Discussions about pride and compassion in the abstract. But then, out of the blue, they ask a little question, or make a comment, and I'm surprised at the connections they have made. While we've been discussing the news headlines, Archer's connected it with the destruction the Lord could send. Or prevent. And I can see that the truth is making its way into his heart, and I am thrilled and intimidated at the same time. And that story, of our family leaning into God's truth and word, is to be continued.

Date Night

Shelly knocked on our bedroom door and I called out, Just a minute, we're getting ready for our hot date!
"It's not an outdoor concert!" she called back. I could hardly contain my laughter but I knew she was very serious.

We were handed our tickets and escorted to our seats where we received snack menus.

 

Finally, after much preparation and secret whispers, we were treated to a patriotic concert. First was God Bless America, and then the Star Spangled Banner.

Eli decided to join as well, and the concert was followed by malts for everyone.

A very enjoyable Date Night, thanks to my talented children!

Just Another Saturday

Swords for all! If I wasn't so paranoid about serious injuries and damage to our home, these definitely would have come home with us. They were so cool!

Next we checked out the hats...

And then hawk throwing lessons. This looked like a lot of fun, we just might end up with a few tomahawks and a hawk block. I haven't ruled it out, despite the obvious threat of injury and property damage. We're headed for trouble now!

Success!!

We finished off the day with rock candy and root beer. I mean, Doo Daa Dew, some sort of magic elixir to cure all maladies.

Sweet Sounds

Tonight I was in a room surrounded by pregnant women and new moms with tiny babies.

I saw the moms that sat in the back row, the ones that sat near the end of the row. The ones that spied out the doors before they even sat down, so they could make a quiet escape when their babies started crying.  I saw them holding their babies and cuddling them up close. Saw them covering to nurse and herd the babies' whimpers turn to satisfied silence. 

I saw the mom standing up pacing back and forth, trying to quiet her little one, while I reveled in the sounds, while I smiled inwardly at those innocent voices.

One sweet mom asked a question and another and seemed nearly at the edge and I felt her frustration. I felt bad for her that she was struggling and wished I could hug her and tell her that she will come through. It will be a struggle, it will feel like eternity, but she will come through.

I miss those moments, those long minutes when you feel like every eye is on you because your baby won't be quieted. I miss those moments where I cuddled him close to me and he rested peacefully in my arms. When a baby is at peace, its hard for the rest of the world not to feel at peace with him. And I miss those moments. I wouldn't go back, I don't want to do it over again, but it sure was sweet while it lasted.