Summer Slide & School Starting

Leaving the front door open, leaving without shorts and wearing no shoes?
Yep, we do that.

Over the course of the last three months there's been a definite slide. Bedtime was first, sliding later and later. Other standards followed. Shoes are now optional. Even if they have shoes on, socks are hit or miss. And the new rule about socks? I consider it a "matching pair" as long as they both fit your feet. Colors? Patterns? Doesn't matter, as long as they both fit your feet its a pair. Don't even get me started on the clothes. Most days E is lucky to have anything more than just a diaper. Yes, we've actually left the house with him only wearing a diaper. Yes, I've taken him to the gas station fully clothed but without socks or shoes and let him walk around inside barefoot. The downhill slide in standards includes questions like, "Is it ok to have hot dogs for breakfast? If I feed them ramen noodles for lunch, is having mac and cheese for supper a balanced diet? Because of the cheese?"

Eating peanut butter from the jar while sitting on the dining room table?
Yeah, that's allowed now.

Today I tried to reverse the slide, raise our standards back up a little bit, and we went shoe shopping. Their shoes actually still fit but they're in such rough shape that they barely pass as wearable. So we went shopping. It was the last thing we had to do to prepare for school starting. The kids are very excited about their new shoes, bright colors, no holes.

And then... Tonight we had open house. I thought I was an old pro at this. Shelly's starting kindergarden, fantastic! She has the same teacher that Archer had, great! I know what's going to happen, I know everything the teacher is telling us, the rules and systems and rest time after lunch, got it down. I'm an expert. No sweat. Except it was really hot in the classroom so we were all sweating.

Then we went to Archer's room. There will be three teachers. There is a homework schedule which includes fluency/reading textbook/leveled readers, math facts/worksheet and social studies/science worksheet EVERY DAY. Except Friday, that's not a homework day, its a new spelling list day. Except there will be work on Friday if you don't finish your school work during the day. And you can't go out for recess if you don't bring back all your homework. And your parents have to sign off on everything every day."But its really not very much" she says to me.

I'm getting anxious as she talks. I'm sweating more. I'm having flashbacks to last year when we fought so hard over homework. Even when I told him I wasn't discussing homework anymore because I didn't want to fight and he'd come to me and fight with me over it. Tears. Crying. Slamming doors, on and on. This didn't happen ALL the time, just a couple of times. I'm remembering the worst. And envisioning it happening EVERY DAY. From now on. For the rest of my life. See where this whole thing is going?

I have no idea what to expect and now I'm expecting the worst. I thought I had this school thing figured out. I've obviously got the fear part figured out. The fear just looks different now. I'm not afraid that Shelly will get lost on the bus, I know how the bussing works and Archer will be with her. I'm not afraid she'll hate school, she already loves it. I'm not afraid Archer can't do the work, I know he can. I've invented a new fear to replace my other fears. Fear of homework.

This is where the Lord caught me, caught up in my anxiety about something that hasn't even happened yet. I was excited for school to start and then I heard about the homework schedule and let anxiety steal my joy and its not pretty. So. Deep breath. Pray for peace, take one day at a time, and enjoy the last four days before school starts. And then, it will all be fine. Right? Right Lord? You'll bring us through it all again, as you always do. Thank you Jesus!

My happy campers, always ready to set out on another adventure together.

(P.S. This whole thing makes me wonder - did my parents have the "back to school anxiety" like I'm having now? I thought this was reserved for the KIDS!!)