Sibling Rivalry

This morning I heard Archer and Shelly playing nicely together and then suddenly - yelling! Some little thing had caused a flare up and they each yelled and then stomped off in different directions. Archer went to his room and Shelly came stomping into my room. My first reaction was to go lecture the two of them on being nice, not yelling, not stomping. But I tried a different approach today. I ignored her. She sat on the couch quietly for a couple of minutes then went back to the living room. Archer must have come out of his room too because I heard them talking, then laughing, then playing together as if the argument had never happened. And I realized that they did exactly what they should have done - gave themselves a few minutes to cool down before addressing the problem. Or just forgetting the problem and moving on. They had given themselves time outs. And it worked. All without me. And that's perfect, because its what we hope our kids will learn as they grow up, how to resolve issues without an outside referee. And the thing I learned is that I don't always need to be the referee, I don't have to step in. They're fine on their own. Usually.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
~ James 1:19-20

Truth

Archer's door was mostly closed tonight after bedtime - highly unusual. What's he doing? What are you doing, Archer? "Nothing." I need you to tell me the truth, what are you doing? (I can see the glow of a flashlight hiding under the covers.) "Playing with this" he says and reveals the light. I tell him that he needs to always tell me the truth and he asks why. Because God wants us to always tell the truth. "Ok. What verse is it?" Uh oh, now I've gotta back it up. I tell him I'll look it up and let him know in the morning.

So which one do I show him?

LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
Who may live on your holy mountain?
The one whose walk is blameless,
who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from their heart...
~ Psalm 15:1-2

Truthful lips endure forever,
but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
~ Proverbs 12:19
 
A truthful witness saves lives,
but a false witness is deceitful.
~ Proverbs 14:25

And the list goes on... We may have to spend a week or two on this one!

Mother's Day for Me

This morning Archer offered to make breakfast for me. Cheerios. He was going to get out the milk for me and everything. ;-) I offered to make waffles and the Cheerios were forgotten.

Following breakfast, my loving family treated me to a trip to the zoo, followed by supper at the Organ Piper. The zoo was fun, but couldn't compare to the Organ Piper. "This is the best place EVER!" Archer shouted in my ear shortly after we arrived. The kids danced in the aisle and continually shouted at us and pointed to everything they saw for the couple hours we were there. When we finally got home tonight Archer told me this was the best day of his life. Aww. He's so sweet! And Shelly, and Eli, and most of all David. He's the one who made sure I had a great day with my beautiful children. Thank you SO MUCH honey! Now I've got just one short month to see what I can do for you for Father's Day.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mom. To my grandma and aunts. To all of the wonderful moms in my life who have shown me what motherhood looks like, who demonstrated by example, with patience and perseverance, how to raise a family. Thank you Mom!

(This is Archer with my parents. Can you belive its been seven years since my awesome mom became a grandma?!?)

Birthday #7

This is Archer's seventh birthday. Oh what a journey we're on! Seven years in and I still haven't figured anything out. That's where God's grace fills in the gaps, the big gaping holes in my ability to do things right. Some days I pray that God would let Archer forget that I just yelled at him. Sometimes I stop, turn my back on the kids and pray, desperately begging God for the right words. I should do that more often.

Today I was SO excited for Archer, and HE was excited and SHELLY was excited and did I mention how excited we all were? We moved the birthday banner from Shelly's door to Archer's (yes, its been there since her birthday four months ago), we put up streamers and another banner and told Arch "Happy Birthday!" every chance we got. We went to McD's for lunch and Archer got a Happy Meal (his one-per-year allotment) and Grandpa joined us to watch the kids play in the tunnels. After school we met up with Grandma Sue and then came home for dinner with Uncle Dan and Aunt Denise. Cake and presents and fun all around! Oh how we all love birthdays, celebrating another year of God's grace and love in our lives!!!

Come and see what God has done,
his awesome deeds for mankind!
~ Psalm 66:5

Battle

Today there was a major crisis when we discovered that Miss C had forgotten her blanket at home. Tears and more tears. She told me she was cold and I told her to get a blanket off Shelly's bed and she refused. She needed HER blanket. And then nap time rolled around, and the battle began. No, not with Miss C. The battle in my own head about how to react to this crisis.

Oh my goodness its just a blanket you'll have it when you get home later just move on!

She's just a little kid, its what keeps her feeling happy and safe what can I do to make this right? Call her mom? Go to her house and break in and get it? Maybe there's a key under the doormat...

When I told Dad about this he said, "Its like you had your mom on one side of your brain and me on the other side of your brain having a conversation about it." He was right. Mom, the sensitive one, what can we do to accomodate? Dad, the rational one, get over it, you'll be fine. In the end, Mom won out. I asked Miss C if she wanted to pick out a toy to hold and Shelly told her she could pick whatever she wanted. She chose a bunny, I held her hand for a couple minutes and she drifted off to sleep.

And now hopefully Miss C's parents don't think I'm crazy because my parents' voices are in my head!

Protecting Baby Brother

Shelly's super protective of Elijah. She absolutely will not tolerate anyone calling him by any nickname whatsoever. She doesn't like nicknames for herself, not even cute ones, and so assumes that of course her defensless baby brother won't like it either. Mr. Stinky Pants is out, but so is Mr. Happy Pants. She tolerates me calling him Mr. Graham but not much else. Its Eli or nothing. If I tell Eli to quit yelling at me she sometimes will make a comment to me, like, "Mom, I think he's hungry." She'll make a great mom someday.

And on another note, Shelly had a big crisis today. She told me she just CAN'T decide what she wants to be when she's grown up. There are so many things she wants to do. When I explained to her that she can do ALL of them, she doesn't have to choose just ONE thing, she was really surprised. "You mean I can do more than one?" She was so relieved! It opens up so many possibilities!

If I were the Easter Bunny...

I would teach all the children about Jesus. Archer

Wrestling. And a Box.

Baby Bear has outgrown his infant car seat, the one we used for Shelly till she was a year old. This weekend we purchased a new carseat for him, a monster of a seat that doesn't really fit in my backseat between the two booster seats for the other bear cubs in the family. But we crammed it in anyway. I wrestled it into place and today used it for the first time. I wrestled the baby into the seat, the seatbelts onto the other two and off we went to church. He looked comfy in there, and safe.

Now, onto the important part of the story. We spent a big chunk of money on a brand new toy for the older two. You'll never guess. It kept them entertained for hours yesterday and today, it fostered creativity and cooperation. It is a dog house, nerf-gun shooting range, jail, roadside produce stand... I forget what else it is. Oh yeah. It is a box. It had a carseat in it but didn't realize its true potential until the seat was removed and it was handed over to the children.

Pop Bop

The Pop Bop asks "Yes or no?" and that's all it does.
Archer's creation keeps it simple.