Sibling Rivalry

This morning I heard Archer and Shelly playing nicely together and then suddenly - yelling! Some little thing had caused a flare up and they each yelled and then stomped off in different directions. Archer went to his room and Shelly came stomping into my room. My first reaction was to go lecture the two of them on being nice, not yelling, not stomping. But I tried a different approach today. I ignored her. She sat on the couch quietly for a couple of minutes then went back to the living room. Archer must have come out of his room too because I heard them talking, then laughing, then playing together as if the argument had never happened. And I realized that they did exactly what they should have done - gave themselves a few minutes to cool down before addressing the problem. Or just forgetting the problem and moving on. They had given themselves time outs. And it worked. All without me. And that's perfect, because its what we hope our kids will learn as they grow up, how to resolve issues without an outside referee. And the thing I learned is that I don't always need to be the referee, I don't have to step in. They're fine on their own. Usually.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
~ James 1:19-20