Why We Don't Have Pets

Shelly and I were talking one night and she started staring at my face. Eventually she said something about my eyebrows and how she wanted to touch them because they looked fuzzy (not really a great compliment, is it?). Then she wanted to stroke my nose. She actually just wanted to be petting my face, I guess? I told her it's because she doesn't have a cat. And that started this.

Shelly, we can't have a cat or a dog because I can barely keep up with feeding the three kids in this house and there's just no way I can manage more living things. She understood and nodded.

Shelly, in some families the kids have Small Rodent [gerbil, guinea pig, hamster, chinchilla, rabbit] and the kids play with it and clean up after it and feed it but that just doesn't work for us. She told me about some friends who have Small Rodent and those kids take turns with their siblings to feed and clean cages etc. etc.

Shelly, here's the problem with Small Rodent. At some point, Small Rodent will escape its home and roam around where we can't find it, and you'll come to me crying that you can't find Small Rodent. Is it in your room? You don't know? Was the door closed when it disappeared? You think so? So maybe Small Rodent is somewhere in your room under all your stuff, or maybe Small Rodent is out in the house somewhere else? You're sad and Mom is annoyed and Dad says everything will be ok. And then it's the middle of the night and Mom gets up to go to the bathroom and Small Rodent scurries across her path and Mom freaks out and then everyone wakes up and freaks out and somehow even though Mom saw Small Rodent scurrying around, Small Rodent has now disappeared again and what if it's in her bed? And no one sleeps until Small Rodent has been rooted out of whatever den it is creating in Mom's bed and evicted from the F5 household, with many tears from all involved. And that is why we cannot have Small Rodent, no matter how much it teaches kids "responsibility" and "maturity."

Shelly nods her head in understanding.

Shelly says, "What about a fish?"