Battles

You wouldn't think that something so ordinary would cause so much trouble. There's the little trouble, Elijah stealing everyone else's toothbrushes and walking around with them in his own mouth. (Gross.) Then he loses them, so no one knows what to do when it's time to brush their teeth. We just keep opening up new brushes and they just keep disappearing. Someday we'll find the stash...

Then there's the big trouble. Every single night, when bedtime is announced, we have a little routine. "Five minutes to bedtime!" a parent announces. "Yes Ma'am/Sir! Five minutes!" Time passes, "Go brush your teeth please." And then the big trouble happens. Meltdown. Sometimes both, usually just one, the same one, every night, immediately melts onto the floor, crying and completely unable to even walk because of the travesty of going to brush their teeth. I tried a bribery system, you go nicely you earn computer time. This worked for a week or two but I got tired of tracking of the minutes and the whole thing fell apart. I've now resorted to threatening. "Quit whining. If you go for a whole week with no whining then you can... (big reward). But if I hear even one complaint ONE TIME..." But honestly, I"m sick of bribing and enticing and threatening. Why can't this person just brush their teeth? It happens EVERY DAY, at the SAME TIME, and its COMPLETELY PREDICTABLE. How has it come to this? Tonight I had a meltdown of my own and as I think about it, I don't even feel sorry. Is that awful? Another list of things to count against me.

I've learned these things over the last few years as a Mom - Patience isn't something that runs out. Its not in limited supply. Its a choice, one that is made ten or twenty or a hundred times a day. The choice to put a smile on my face and talk sweetly, or get grumpy. Choice. Not commodity.

Despite knowing that, I choose to look at it as if its a commodity. Sometimes all too limited. I let it "run out," and then ugliness ensues. And despite knowing that my ugly attitude DOES NOT bring the results I want (smiles on my kids' faces), I still do it. I'm still trying to get it together.

Here's another thing I've learned - our society likes to analyze behavior and then look for one simple cause. And all too often the cause of bad habits falls to the parents' inability to raise their kids right. Don't get me wrong, I know that parents have huge influence in their kids' lives, they have to. But why is it that when kids get to be grown-ups, they're looking back and blaming their parents for every single little problem in their own lives? I'm just a person. Not a super hero. Not Jesus' wonderful mother Mary (hey, even she wasn't perfect). And so in defense of myself, before my kids start blaming me for all their flaws, I'm putting this out there - I never claimed to be great. I'm not always good at this parenting thing. But kids, I love you so much. I'm just a person, cut me a little slack, ok?