Elijah: 6 Months

He can roll over when he wants but only when no one is watching. He screams for food. Literally screams. Grabs my plate and pulls it towards his mouth and spills everything in the process. If I hold food within reach he grabs my hand and I'm afraid I'll loose a finger or two if I'm not careful. No teeth yet, though. This weekend he started getting more comfortable with Dad, I think he's realizing that sometimes you have to take what you can get and if Mom walks away, its not nice to yell at Dad. And David makes him laugh and its the most awesome sight ever, to see my husband loving his son and have them laughing together. I love it!!!

Gold & Dirt

Today we went to the pet store and got a free goldfish. The free goldfish cost us $17.84, but Archer gave me $1.00 from his piggy bank so my total out of pocket expense was $16.84, plus gas to drive across town, and about an hour waiting for the store to open since we got there early. And now Gold is in a little tank in the kids' bathroom with a strict twice-a-day feeding schedule and warnings not to tap on the tank. Don't harass the animals. "What does that mean?" Always another lesson.
 David kindly tilled up the garden, added new dirt and even expanded it further to make room for all the stuff we had to plant. I hate digging out sod. He does too. Yuck. But the garden looks great and I can't wait to see how our veggies do! The best part about the vegetable garden is seeing the kids go out and pick things and eat them straight off the vine. I don't even have to say, "Don't eat now, we're having supper soon!" because who cares? Its healthy stuff, eat up!

I love that summer is here, I love that the kids were covered in dirt from their heads to their toes. As I sat in the living room today feeding the baby while everyone else was outside I looked at the kitchen floor and started complaining to myself about all the dirt everywhere. I take my shoes off outside so I don't track in big chunks of dirt like they're doing, I thought to myself. More to sweep. At least they're keeping their shoes off the carpet. As I was busy being annoyed by all the dirt the rest of my family dragged inside, I noticed dirt all over the coffee table. Hmm. And the carpet too. What? I realized the very bottom edge of my jeans had rolled up and caught a bunch of dirt. And when I sat down and put my feet up for a little break all that dirt spilled out. All over the carpet. Ha! So much for thinking I was the only one bothering to leave the dirt outside, I brought just as much in as they did, maybe more!

So Far So Good

My birthday weekend has been busy but today's going to be the hardest work, I think. If the baby lets me, I'm going to help David get the garden ready for planting and we'll put in tomatoes (3 kinds), onins (3 kinds), peppers (2 kinds), garlic, cucumbers, peas and green beans. Wow that sounds like a lot! We got a little behind in our preparations this year so most of those veggies will be plants we purchased yesterday, we're only doing a few seeds. With the Lord's blessing we'll have an abundance of produce in a month or two!

I told David that I really didn't want anything for my birthday, just a dinner with my family and maybe a fun activity together or something. This didn't go over too well with the kids, they just don't understand. Shelly, especially, has been really concerned that I didn't have any presents to open. Today David will take them to buy me a present, I guess. And right now I'm off to buy a goldfish. Long story. I'll fill you in later... Happy Fishing! And - Happy Memorial Day!

Scared of the Dark

Shelly's been doing this thing lately, where she stays in her room for about three minutes at bedtime before coming to us and telling us she's afraid. Of course its always something different. David handles this much better than I do, because I always suspect she's trying to manipulate us and just avoid going to bed. He gives her the benefit of the doubt. I just tell her to go back to her room and go to sleep. Sadly for Shelly, Daddy's not home yet and she came to me, with no compassionate person in sight. "I'm afraid." Of what? I say, not even looking at her. (I'm BUSY reading junk on the internet, duh! No time for compassion from me!) "I'm just ah-scared. That something is going to come out of somewhere." (She now puts the "ah" sound in front of random words. Its kinda cute.) Something. Somewhere. She doesn't say monster in her closet, or ghost under her bed, just something. Somewhere. I couldn't help but laugh a little. And then I sent her back to bed.

This little drama then played out over the next half hour, where Archer and I became increasingly frustrated with the noisy little actress who was keeping the rest of the house in an uproar. He offered for her to sleep on the floor in his room, so sweet of him but then she wouldn't be quiet, she wanted to talk to him about how she's still scared. ("I'm about to blow my top," he said to me calmly. I know, I told him, me too.) I sent her back to her room to listen to stories on the CD player but she just sobbed and sobbed until Archer yelled at her to be quiet and then he came to me to confess it. I had her come into my room and lay down on the couch and within minutes she was asleep.

Another lesson learned. Just let her sleep on the couch to begin with and all the other stuff would be avoided. (Only didn't I just give in and let her get her way? What lesson did SHE just learn?) Now I just have to move her. Cause she can't stay there, that's where David sleeps. And so another night of musical beds begins.

Awana

Its over already? I have to say, the kids loved it SOOO much. And I'm truly impressed with the leadership. Thanks Leaders. Archer and Shelly were saying "I really miss Awana" before we were even out of the church parking lot. Every week they would get so excited and the easiest way for me to ensure bedrooms were clean and they were on their best behavior was the threat of missing Awana. "If you don't.... then no Awana tonight!"

They've learned so much. About God, about getting along with other kids, a little bit about independence, responsibility, making choices about what activities to do and what to give up. There were so many God-loving volunteers that pulled off this amazing year, and so many beautiful children that came week after week to hear more about the Lord. Then those little voices came home and spoke the Lord's words into their parents' hearts. "Mom, did you know..." What an amazing testimony to God's love and His children's willingness to serve one another.

Then we your people, the sheep of your pasture,

will praise you forever;
from generation to generation
we will proclaim your praise.
~ Psalm 79:13

For more pics from the evening go here: More Pictures

(For more about Awana go here: Awana Info)

Precious Dandelions

"Why is Dad digging up those precious dandelions??" The next day... "Those are beautiful flowers. Why does Dad dig up the flowers when they're beautiful?" We'd all do well to take Shelly's approach to lawn and garden care. We'd be much less stressed about the plants in the yard if we called them precious and beautiful instead of thinking of them as ugly weeds.

Archer, on the other hand, is happy to help dig stuff up. Any excuse to play in the dirt is fine with him! Of course, his attention span for that is fairly limited and usually the bike calls him away for a ride around the neighborhood. "Mom, can I go for a ride around the block? One time? I mean two times?" Sure, whatever, go ahead, let me know when you get back. "Ok, just three times, ok? Five times?"

Sunshine and Thunder

Today was AWESOME. The weather was so perfect. We spent a little time outside and it felt SO good to be in the sun, the warm wind, everything. Tonight the clouds rolled in and the lightening and thunder made its appearance, scaring the kids into our laps every time it rumbled through the house. Sweet rain to bring beautiful flowers and get our strawberry plants on their way to producing fruit. Flashy lightening to brighten the sky and make me feel safe inside our cozy little house. I love nighttime rain.

God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding.
~ Job 37:5

Waffles and More

A few weeks ago we started feeding E little bits of food. Some things have had success, others have caused catastrophic projectile vomiting. Just ask Denise and Dan, they got to witness the consequence of feeding a little bit of chicken to a baby whose tummy was full of milk. He gagged it down but then, just when I thought we were safe, it all came up, chicken and more. And more. Anyway, so far we've had lots of success with avacado, cheerios, and waffles. Yep, the boy likes his waffles. Most of it just get shredded but some gets eaten and he likes eating/playing with it. And most importantly - it keeps him occupied for a few minutes so I can eat my food. Of course I pay for the peace, it makes a HUGE mess which is impossible to sweep up (soggy waffle crumbs, anyone?). But its worth it.

Rest

A friend said something lately, about being a mom. She said that God calls us to lean on Him for rest, not look for ways to give up our kids for the weekend or take a vacation without them. I needed that reminder. Thanks friend.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
~ Matthew 11:28-30

Kitchen Sink AKA Bathtub

Elijah Graham is baby number three to have a bath in our kitchen sink. He's graduated from the baby tub to sitting and splashing in the sink. Love it!

And here's Shelly.

And last, or first, Archer.

Summer Has Arrived. Officially.

The smells, the sunshine, the shoeless children, the sand angels. That's right, sand angels. When I was cleaning up Shelly tonight I said, "We have to get the dirt out of your hair, your ears, between your toes" and she replied "yeah because I was making sand angels." There's limitless fun to be had when you leave four children unsupervised at a playground full of sand. While the moms were busy discussing important PTA issues in the stuffy library the kids were having a grand time in the great outdoors. I think I'm a little jealous. They had way more fun than we did!

When we got home it was late and we should have come inside and gotten ready for bed. But the sun was shining. The kids were already dirty, what's a little more sweat on top of sand and dirt? Break out the bikes and scooters. Ride around in about a thousand cirles and finally you might be ready to come in. Ahh Summer. Now we just need to be done with school. Only a few more weeks!

Ups and Downs

Last night I made the awesomest brownies ever. Its a recipe box mix that combines chocolate chip cookie dough with brownies and it tastes sooo good. Then I put them in a roasting pan on top of the fridge, out of sight, out of reach, right? Not so much. This morning for breakfast Archer ate about a third of the batch of cookie brownies. When I discovered it I was mad enough to actually consider driving to school to yell at him about it. Then I realized how unreasonable that sounded. So I devised a better plan. Shelly and I will eat brownies for dessert in front of him. He already had his in the morning, we'll have some tonight without him. He can watch. I don't know, is it too much? Whatever. Hopefully he learns his lesson.

Guess what? He didn't. After they were in bed and I was in my room he snuck out and ate the last of the brownies that I'd left on the counter. That's it - drastic measures are about to be taken. I woke him up, brought him out to the kitchen and we had a little talk. He cried and apologized, I accepted his apology and told him how much I love him. Then I walked him back to his room and laid down with him in his bed. And that's when we had the best moment of our day. We talked about the airplane we could see from his window, and how maybe Dad was on that flight coming home. We talked about how he's the best boy ever and I'm the best mom ever. We told each other, "I love you," about a hundred times. It was the best ten minutes of my day. That boy. He makes me ache with love and five minutes later I feel like pulling my hair out.

In the middle of all of that, at supper time, Archer said something so nice to me... I had tried a new thing for supper and told the kids it was going to taste great. Ha! It DID NOT. I took one bite and told Archer he didn't have to eat it, it wasn't good. He took a BIG bite and as I watched (with my eyebrows raised, skeptical that he would swallow it) he said, "What?? Its PERFECT!" Another bite and he says, "Well, its ok." And by his third bite he finally admitted, "Its not good." But he did offer a suggestion for improvement next time, and he was trying so hard to be nice about the whole thing, I just had to laugh. Did I mention how my heart just aches with wanting for him? Wanting the very best for him and loving to the point of hurting. I love that kid.

(Photo of Arch courtesy of Denise)

A Little Rant.

At what point is "patience" no longer the best course of action? How many times should you tell a kid not to do something before actually expecting them to comply? My expectation is one. I should tell the kid one time. After that, consequences are in order. What's amazing to me is how the words aren't even out of my mouth and the child is looking me right in they eye and doing it A.G.A.I.N. Sigh. This parenting thing can be really tiresome. Maybe I should have more patience? Something tells me no, there's no excuse for deliberate bad behavior. If I said "don't lean on that door and push it back that way" and then the kid sits down and starts pushing it with their foot, should I have patience for that? In my mind its just disobedience, and I don't think I'm supposed to tolerate it. But then I feel like the impatient/mean/bad guy. And when I discipline one it causes the other to start crying too, so then I feel double bad. Maybe I'm over-thinking the whole thing. I don't think I'm cut out for this parenting thing. Its a good thing I've got a backup plan, a Helper who's stronger than me, more wise and loving than I could ever hope to be.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.
~ 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Sibling Rivalry

This morning I heard Archer and Shelly playing nicely together and then suddenly - yelling! Some little thing had caused a flare up and they each yelled and then stomped off in different directions. Archer went to his room and Shelly came stomping into my room. My first reaction was to go lecture the two of them on being nice, not yelling, not stomping. But I tried a different approach today. I ignored her. She sat on the couch quietly for a couple of minutes then went back to the living room. Archer must have come out of his room too because I heard them talking, then laughing, then playing together as if the argument had never happened. And I realized that they did exactly what they should have done - gave themselves a few minutes to cool down before addressing the problem. Or just forgetting the problem and moving on. They had given themselves time outs. And it worked. All without me. And that's perfect, because its what we hope our kids will learn as they grow up, how to resolve issues without an outside referee. And the thing I learned is that I don't always need to be the referee, I don't have to step in. They're fine on their own. Usually.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
~ James 1:19-20

Truth

Archer's door was mostly closed tonight after bedtime - highly unusual. What's he doing? What are you doing, Archer? "Nothing." I need you to tell me the truth, what are you doing? (I can see the glow of a flashlight hiding under the covers.) "Playing with this" he says and reveals the light. I tell him that he needs to always tell me the truth and he asks why. Because God wants us to always tell the truth. "Ok. What verse is it?" Uh oh, now I've gotta back it up. I tell him I'll look it up and let him know in the morning.

So which one do I show him?

LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
Who may live on your holy mountain?
The one whose walk is blameless,
who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from their heart...
~ Psalm 15:1-2

Truthful lips endure forever,
but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
~ Proverbs 12:19
 
A truthful witness saves lives,
but a false witness is deceitful.
~ Proverbs 14:25

And the list goes on... We may have to spend a week or two on this one!

Mother's Day for Me

This morning Archer offered to make breakfast for me. Cheerios. He was going to get out the milk for me and everything. ;-) I offered to make waffles and the Cheerios were forgotten.

Following breakfast, my loving family treated me to a trip to the zoo, followed by supper at the Organ Piper. The zoo was fun, but couldn't compare to the Organ Piper. "This is the best place EVER!" Archer shouted in my ear shortly after we arrived. The kids danced in the aisle and continually shouted at us and pointed to everything they saw for the couple hours we were there. When we finally got home tonight Archer told me this was the best day of his life. Aww. He's so sweet! And Shelly, and Eli, and most of all David. He's the one who made sure I had a great day with my beautiful children. Thank you SO MUCH honey! Now I've got just one short month to see what I can do for you for Father's Day.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mom. To my grandma and aunts. To all of the wonderful moms in my life who have shown me what motherhood looks like, who demonstrated by example, with patience and perseverance, how to raise a family. Thank you Mom!

(This is Archer with my parents. Can you belive its been seven years since my awesome mom became a grandma?!?)

Birthday #7

This is Archer's seventh birthday. Oh what a journey we're on! Seven years in and I still haven't figured anything out. That's where God's grace fills in the gaps, the big gaping holes in my ability to do things right. Some days I pray that God would let Archer forget that I just yelled at him. Sometimes I stop, turn my back on the kids and pray, desperately begging God for the right words. I should do that more often.

Today I was SO excited for Archer, and HE was excited and SHELLY was excited and did I mention how excited we all were? We moved the birthday banner from Shelly's door to Archer's (yes, its been there since her birthday four months ago), we put up streamers and another banner and told Arch "Happy Birthday!" every chance we got. We went to McD's for lunch and Archer got a Happy Meal (his one-per-year allotment) and Grandpa joined us to watch the kids play in the tunnels. After school we met up with Grandma Sue and then came home for dinner with Uncle Dan and Aunt Denise. Cake and presents and fun all around! Oh how we all love birthdays, celebrating another year of God's grace and love in our lives!!!

Come and see what God has done,
his awesome deeds for mankind!
~ Psalm 66:5

Battle

Today there was a major crisis when we discovered that Miss C had forgotten her blanket at home. Tears and more tears. She told me she was cold and I told her to get a blanket off Shelly's bed and she refused. She needed HER blanket. And then nap time rolled around, and the battle began. No, not with Miss C. The battle in my own head about how to react to this crisis.

Oh my goodness its just a blanket you'll have it when you get home later just move on!

She's just a little kid, its what keeps her feeling happy and safe what can I do to make this right? Call her mom? Go to her house and break in and get it? Maybe there's a key under the doormat...

When I told Dad about this he said, "Its like you had your mom on one side of your brain and me on the other side of your brain having a conversation about it." He was right. Mom, the sensitive one, what can we do to accomodate? Dad, the rational one, get over it, you'll be fine. In the end, Mom won out. I asked Miss C if she wanted to pick out a toy to hold and Shelly told her she could pick whatever she wanted. She chose a bunny, I held her hand for a couple minutes and she drifted off to sleep.

And now hopefully Miss C's parents don't think I'm crazy because my parents' voices are in my head!

Protecting Baby Brother

Shelly's super protective of Elijah. She absolutely will not tolerate anyone calling him by any nickname whatsoever. She doesn't like nicknames for herself, not even cute ones, and so assumes that of course her defensless baby brother won't like it either. Mr. Stinky Pants is out, but so is Mr. Happy Pants. She tolerates me calling him Mr. Graham but not much else. Its Eli or nothing. If I tell Eli to quit yelling at me she sometimes will make a comment to me, like, "Mom, I think he's hungry." She'll make a great mom someday.

And on another note, Shelly had a big crisis today. She told me she just CAN'T decide what she wants to be when she's grown up. There are so many things she wants to do. When I explained to her that she can do ALL of them, she doesn't have to choose just ONE thing, she was really surprised. "You mean I can do more than one?" She was so relieved! It opens up so many possibilities!

If I were the Easter Bunny...

I would teach all the children about Jesus. Archer

Wrestling. And a Box.

Baby Bear has outgrown his infant car seat, the one we used for Shelly till she was a year old. This weekend we purchased a new carseat for him, a monster of a seat that doesn't really fit in my backseat between the two booster seats for the other bear cubs in the family. But we crammed it in anyway. I wrestled it into place and today used it for the first time. I wrestled the baby into the seat, the seatbelts onto the other two and off we went to church. He looked comfy in there, and safe.

Now, onto the important part of the story. We spent a big chunk of money on a brand new toy for the older two. You'll never guess. It kept them entertained for hours yesterday and today, it fostered creativity and cooperation. It is a dog house, nerf-gun shooting range, jail, roadside produce stand... I forget what else it is. Oh yeah. It is a box. It had a carseat in it but didn't realize its true potential until the seat was removed and it was handed over to the children.

Pop Bop

The Pop Bop asks "Yes or no?" and that's all it does.
Archer's creation keeps it simple.