Lessons in Patience

A theme in my conversations with the kids lately is "practicing patience." When they have to wait for something, or sit quietly, or don't get what they want right away I say to them, "This is a good time for us to practice our patience. Sit quietly. Don't pout, just wait." I think they might grow up hating this phrase, it might be one of those annoying things Mom always used to say. So I say it more to make sure they remember it ;-)

Its funny how I can be so focused on teaching the kids something and then have that same lesson brought right in my face, the Lord saying "Listen, Amy, do what you're telling your kids to do. Practice patience. Just wait." Yesterday I had my third ultrasound. If, at my first ultrasound, everything had been perfect then I would not have needed to go back. But they want to "keep an eye" on how things are going. The placenta is too close to the cervix. The baby is perfectly healthy and normal. They want the placenta to move away, they tell me that in the vast majority of cases it does and everything is fine. But they want to keep an eye on it. So I went back a month later, and it was still too close. And I went back yesterday and it hadn't moved. Our son is growing normally and now weighs over three pounds, I saw his beautiful little face and even the hair that's growing on his perfectly formed head. But there's still the issue of the placenta being in the wrong spot... And though the doctors have assured me that everything will be fine, we just have to keep watching and make our plans accordingly (c-section vs. natural delivery), I was worried. I am worried.

I went out to my car and had a meltdown. I cried out to God and told Him I know that He can fix it, make everything ok and heal it and protect us from harm and make it better. I asked Him to fix it. I cried out for Him to make everything ok so that I didn't have to worry anymore about the stupid placenta being too close to the stupid cervix. And this is where He reminded me of the little words that I keep saying to the kids. "Be patient." And I'm beginning to understand that being patient isn't just about sitting quietly, its about trusting. Trusting that as I sit and wait quietly, He'll take care of us. Trusting Him and having faith that either way - if that placenta moves or not - He'll provide and protect and keep His promises. He tells us not to worry. He tells us that we need to be patient and trust Him. And He's reminding me that each day I can choose to worry about something I can't change, or I can choose to ask Him to provide and then trust that He will. And practice my patience.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry... He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
~ Psalm 40:1,3

Praise the Lord, for He has given us a precious miracle growing within me at this very moment and that baby boy constantly reminds me that he's there with his kicking and squirming around. I love you Baby, your perfect little face and those strong legs and arms and the fuzzy little hair on your head!