Four Months

Tonight as Archer was taking a shower I had a sudden flash of memory - the day he had his first bath. Denise was with me, and the poor boy cried the entire time. I wanted to cry too, I had no idea what I was doing and my baby was upset and things did not seem to be going well. Its been so long since that day, and the time has passed so quickly. What I know now is that there are lots of tears in childhood/parenthood. And lots of laughs, and we just try to let the laughs outweigh the tears.
I remember when Shelly came home from the hospital and I was thinking, "No problem, I've done this before, I know what I'm doing now." The first night, I got up to change her diaper and didn't have any place to put the dirty diaper. I remember so clearly thinking, "What am I doing? I don't even have a place for this diaper? Didn't I know better? I should have known better!" I didn't have a lamp in her room to turn on to see what I was doing, I felt like I was lost all over again. And I was, in a way, because she's so different than her brother. I should not have assumed I had it all figured out, I had to figure HER out. And I'm still working on that, with both of the kids.

Now, with our baby boy on the way I feel prepared, "I've done this before, I know what I'm doing now." And I also know I haven't met him yet and it will all be different. I'll have no idea. The journey will be exactly the same as it has been with his older brother and sister - unpredictable. Scary, intimidating, frustrating, joyous, amazing, happy, the best thing that's ever happened to me and the journey that's given meaning to my life. We only have four months to prepare for our boy's arrival. We have to wait four long months for this next adventure to begin!