Reflections

Mom and Dad took the kids off on a road trip adventure that included an overnight stay in Argyle. Sunday morning they went to Amerifest at Denise's church and then made their way to Argyle for a visit to the farm. Today they visited a model train display with Nana and Papa.

Here's the thing... Sending my kids out into the world, without being by their sides to make sure they say please and thank you (yes, even Shelly can say these things), without reminding them to not shout when they should be quiet, or reminding them to use napkins and not their shirt-sleeves, this whole thing makes me a little nervous. Actually, a lot nervous. When I was a kid I really didn't understand how my behavior reflected on my parents. I get it now. If my kids are out of control that means I'm not in control and you don't need me to go into how parents are judged for their kids' behavior.

So when Mom and Dad and Denise all told me how well the kids behaved, I was relieved and truly happy to hear they acted the way I hope they do. The minute Mom and Dad dropped them off with me, however, there was a complete 180 degree turn-around. Archer and Shelly must have used up all their stores of polite behavior with their grandparents because it was nowhere to be found once they were home. Crying, tantrums, hitting (Shelly hitting her brother, what in the world????). They were worn out, hungry, and just plain had no space left for good manners. They smelled like sunscreen and sweat and needed baths to wash off the adventures they'd had and start to calm down and settle back into home. Its amazing what a trip like that does to them - they had lots of fun and were gone for less than 48 hours but I really think it completely threw them off track and wore them out. I like the peace and quiet that David and I have when we get a little break from the kids, but I'm learning the peace is an opportunity for me to shore myself up for the chaos they bring with them when they come home. Going on adventures away from home is lots of fun but lots of work for them too. And when they come home to unwind, I've got to be prepared for it.

Thanks Mom and Dad and Denise for your encouragement and letting me know the kids did well. Thanks for taking them on an adventure that they'll be talking about for quite awhile (ok, maybe not Shelly but definitely Archer!)

Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to keep going, keep persevering and trying to send my kids in the right direction. Thank you Lord for the people in my life who are supportive and encouraging to me. And thank you Lord for the small steps in the right direction that you've accomplished in my life.

Lord, you will grant us peace, all we have accomplished is really from you.
~ Isaiah 26:12

More so, Lord, I ask you to help me remember what I'm doing in my life, with my actions and decisions, is a reflection on you in the same way my children are a reflection on me. This is a heavy burden but also a great opportunity. What can I do with this opportunity?

"Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come."
~ 1 Timothy 4:8

I found these quotes from Charles Schulz (you know, the creator of Charlie Brown)

- That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.

- I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

His secrets to life are the secrets to parenthood. The moment you quit worrying if your baby is late in learning to crawl, you start worrying he's late in learning to walk, talk, etc... The moment you've got one thing figured out you've got something else to learn. And you just have to hang around long enough to realize its always some new worry and that's how it is, its nothing to worry about that there's always something to worry about. Did that make sense?

My friend reminded me me one day - "Don't borrow trouble." How true. I'm worried about Archer going to school and all the bad things that could happen. But its 2 months away still, and maybe none of the bad things I'm thinking about will happen. He'll probably love it. So I need to quit worrying about something so far in the future and think about what I can be doing for my kids today to prepare them for that future.

Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
~ Philippians 4:6

And oh what He has done for us! A wonderful husband, two beautiful children, and He's provided for us everything we need. Thank you Lord!

Deep Waters

The last couple of months have been tough. I guess that's why I've been neglecting the blog a bit. But things seem to be calming down a little bit for the moment. A few months ago Archer finally got the hang of potty training. I was really beginning to doubt myself. (What kind of mom am I? What if he can't go to school in the fall because we don't have this figured out yet?) Well, Archer's doing really well and I'm confident we don't have to worry about him getting kicked out of school. When I realized that we had it mastered, I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought maybe we could coast for awhile on the victory of no more pullups.

What was I thinking? Haven't I learned by now? No coasting when you're a parent... Big problems with the boy's attitude. And Shelly's attitude too, for that matter. Little Miss Drama Queen takes her lessons from Big Brother. Crack down on the attitude. We've gotten very familiar with the time out spot. And made some progress.

Can we coast yet? No... Its time to deal with bed time. The boy who is 4 years old and never been seriously required to sleep in his own bed. Well, that's enough. Bed time is no longer at whenever he decides to fall asleep anywhere in the house. Bed time is when Mom & Dad say, and in his own bed. Its getting better but the kid still tries to negotiate every little thing. One more minute, one more...

Parenting requires patience but more, requires perseverence. Lots. And faith. Cause I don't have the strength to get through it without someone much bigger, much stronger than me!

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you…
~ Isaiah 43:2

Something Really Bad

Something really bad happened in our family this past weekend. Something that was completely preventable, a stupid mistake on my part with serious consequences. Something I'm smart enough "to know better" but didn't think of it anyway.

Sunburn.

Bright red, burning, itching, sunburn. Completely preventable if I had just applied sunscreen. And here's the best, or maybe worst, part about it - it happened TO ME. MY OWN BACK. It just figures. I'm so cautious, careful, attentive to my kids' skin. And then on Saturday I mowed the yard and got probably the worst sunburn I've ever had. Awful.

Finally this morning I thought it was nearing the end and then tonight - blisters. About a hundred little blisters, the size of dimes all over my upper back.

I feel just plain dumb for letting this happen, there's NO WAY I would have let this happen to my kids. Why is it I'm so careful about taking care of my kids and so careless with my own body? There's something about it - people can neglect themselves, feed themselves bad food or maintain bad habits. But when it comes to kids, society doesn't let adults get away with that kind of neglect. I guess its because kids are too young to know better, to know how to take care of themselves. But as adults, are we really acting like we know what we're doing?

Its a good thing we have someone else watching over us, cause on our own I have a pretty good feeling we wouldn't get too far...

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19

Kids' Words

Archer told me about the food chain the other night, it went something like this:

Chicken comes from the grocery store, and before that it comes from the factory. The factories make the chicken and all the other things that sposed to be at the grocery store. The factory makes milk, the cows give us milk, cows, or the factory where the teeny weeny people live in the cow factory, then they send the milk to the grocery store then the poeple bring the milk to the houses cause they runned out of milk.

He tells me stories like this all the time, what fun to see the world through his eyes, as he tries to piece together all the things he knows into a logical way that the world works. (Who are the teeny weeny people?)

Shelly has a list of words she's saying now, this has just happened over the last few weeks and its fun to learn more of her words along with her, and try to translate them...

She says Archer but it sounds like "Ah Da"
Thank you sounds like "dee dee" or "dada" but really short sounds, not like when she says Daddy which is more like "Dah dee"
Please sounds like "ees," and cheese also sounds a lot like "ees"
She says "e i e i o" when we sing "Old McDonald"
She moves her lips along with the words when we sing the rainbow song, and sings "purple" and the last part "rainbow"
She sings the melody of the first part of the alphabet
She says "up ees" when she wants to be picked up, and "up ees" when she wants down
All done is "ah da"
And let's not forget her favorite word - NO! When she shakes her head she puts her head down and shakes and sometimes so hard that she looses her balance and falls down. Its hard not to laugh because she's taking herself so seriously, but she's just so cute!

Most of the things she says we still have no idea what they mean. And mostly I just say to her "show me" and then follow her around trying to guess things.

I still remember the first time Archer said "I love you" to us, I remember where we were and what we were doing. I wish I could remember more of his firsts but I remember lots of them, and life's not ever about going back, its always about going forward. Making room for the next first things that are about to happen and being ready for the future fun!

Yet another bad influence in my kids' lives...

I don't know what it is but it sure looks tasty!

A quote from Archer regarding a childhood drink that I've never seen an adult drink - Sunny D, formerly known as Sunny Delight. I try to keep crap out of our house, I could try harder (we still buy cereal loaded with sugar, hot dogs, canned fruit, and don't even get me started on the Diet Coke problem we have) but I draw the line at Sunny D. That and koolaid - sugar water with neon food coloring added.

Ingredients of Sunny D: Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and 2% or Less of Each of the Following...

Need I say more? Water and high fructose corn syrup? I call that water mixed with crap. And yet, somehow a can of it ended up in our fridge and I couldn't bring myself to just throw it away, after all that would be wasting, right? Wasting crap? Ugh. I should have just thrown it away. Now my kids are drinking it.

So WHY are they bouncing off the walls at 8:00 at night when they should be tired?

A few new pics

1. Shelly's new hair style (its finally long enough!)

2. A tiger prowling in his native habitat

3. Judo? No - Shelly Bell hugging Brother Bear

Camping 2008!

Camping 2008...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3jPz2Q2Ch8

Its nice to have a little sister

Archer is usually too quick for Shelly to catch up to him, and he's usually too busy to slow down for her. But maybe things are changing. He does stop to tell her things sometimes. (Or stop to tell ON her.) When she pulled herself up onto the couch all by herself I was completely surprised and asked her "since when can you do that?" Archer chimed in "I taught her how to do that!" I'm not sure if he really did but either way I think its nice that he takes an interest in helping her learn things.

Last night David and I were sitting on either end of the couch with Archer in between. Shelly climbed up onto David's lap and then crawled over onto Archer's lap and put her head on his shoulder and her arms around his neck. And he put his arms around her. And they just sat there, for three or four minutes. Archer gently patted Shelly's back and she stayed on his lap. I watched them and felt so full of love for these two children who almost never slow down enough to even acknowledge each other in passing because they're so busy, and now sat hugging each other in a gesture of trust and companionship. Shelly got squirmy and climbed down off the couch to find something else to do but was back again soon and when she lay down with her head on Archer's lap my heart swelled again. Archer said to us, "its nice to have a little sister like Shelly."

Its awesome to have children like Shelly and Archer.

Father's Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh5U7HUlZcI

Pay Attention

Today I received this verse in my inbox:

Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.

~ 2 Chronicles 7:14

I found the verse in context and the sentence prior got me thinking.

At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you. Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land. My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to every prayer made in this place.

~ 2 Chronicles 7:13-15

God was obviously telling Solomon that difficult times are not random and out of His control. The Lord uses all kinds of things to get our attention. Brining us to our knees in hardship should bring us back to His love and forgiveness, and back to His helping hand to lead us forward in the right direction.

This verse reminded me that God is constantly teaching, leading, bringing us forward closer to Him. He puts the pressure on us to teach, and he doesn't hold a grudge when we make mistakes. I'm trying to be a better mom for Archer and Shelly. I'm trying to teach the important lessons through the mistakes they make, but I need to remember that love is not quick to anger, it is quick to forgive. And in turn, I hope they forgive the mistakes I make.