Keeping Promises

Something that is always in my mind is the words I use when I tell them what's going to happen in the future, whether its the next five minutes or five days or longer. When I was pregnant with Shelly and David and I took a trip to Disney World I was surprised at the number of times I heard something like this...
"But you said we would do that!"
"Well now we can't, sorry."

Obviously, plans can change, but I want my kids to know that when I promise them something, it will happen. I will keep my promise. Its not a light matter to break a promise. Its better not to say anything about what we might do in the future, that way if things change I didn't have to break a promise. I almost think that breaking a promise is like a lie, one that you put out there and make into a lie by your failure to follow through.

Its so easy to take things lightly, things that we say. But there are so many times when God tells us that the words coming out of our mouths are not to be taken lightly. And there are so many times when I catch myself making sarcastic comments or saying something I don't mean (or worse, things that I DO mean) which should never have been said. Thank God for his forgiveness and patience... And for his commitment to keep his promise, without fail.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
~ Hebrews 10:23

Worry...

I've had a few tough days lately, the kids are driving me especially crazy and I'm not sure if its me that's changed or them, but they seem so intolerable. Anyway, I love them still, of course. But I've been on the edge. And this leads me to all my insecurities about motherhood - how I'm not patient enough, kind enough, disciplined enough, energetic enough... The list goes on.

I had a huge revelation a little while ago, and it was this: God does not tell me to be a good mother with a list of things that make me into a good mom. He tells me to love him, and love my children. That's it. No list, no rulebook about how much tv is too much or about how organized my house should be, or how many vegetables and fruits they should be eating... He just wants me to love him and love my children. That's more about an outlook than a rulebook. Thank the Lord I don't have to live up to all those rules because I already know I'm failing miserably at that! But I'm not failing at following his command to love him and love my family. And through that love, I trust God to teach me and lead me and help me grow. Its definitely not an easy process, but I know he will show me the fruits of the seeds I'm sowing. I just have to wait for his timing.

Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
~ Philippians 4:6

A chance to grow

My uncle Dave could probably tell you a lot about endurance. He runs marathons, and I don't know how long he's been doing this but I'm sure if I asked, he'd tell me it took a long time to be able to run that distance without a complete breakdown.

I think parenting is really similar. So many times I rush into things and expect to be able to run full speed ahead from beginning to end, with no planning or training in advance. Parenting requires endurance and this doesn't come overnight. It comes with lots of practice and work. And sometimes that work is hard, painful even. But like running a marathon, it comes with a huge sense of accomplishment and pride when the goal is finally achieved. I'd like to think that each day as a mom is a step closer to the finish line, to achieving the goal. Yes, I know, parenting is a job that's never finished. But the little struggles along the way are their own accomplishments, and getting through each test is another goal achieved. Its so easy for me to get discouraged that things aren't going the way I want, so easy for me to forget the big picture. But if I step back for a moment, I realize these are chances for me to grow, and to teach my children. I'm not a perfect teacher, or a perfect mom. But I'm working on it and improving each day.

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ~James 1:3

Birds & Bees

David and Archer sat down together to watch a movie a little while ago. I didn't sit down with them right away, but from the other room I heard David say to his son, "They're making a baby!" WHAT??? This is a KID'S movie! What is this world coming to??!!?? I ran into the room to see the mom and dad robot... opening a box. They were assembling parts to make a baby. Whew!

One Tough Cookie

Exhibit A - Shelly fell down outside yesterday, started crying, got up and came over to me. That's when I saw the giant thorn from the rose bush sticking in her face. I pulled it out and it started bleeding profusely. But she seemed fine.

Exhibit B - Shelly wiped out in the kitchen tonight, causing an emergency visit to the hospital. David bet she'd get 3 stitches, I bet 5. She ended up with 4. She cried when she first fell down but after that she was so brave, she didn't cry at all. She didn't cry, or even squirm, when they put the stitches in. She laid perfectly still.

Exhibit C - We went out to dinner after the emergency room visit to celebrate surviving yet another minor catastrophe. Shelly was feeling so good that she shoved me out of the way and took over my tomato soup. The evidence on her face suggests that she's feeling well despite the trauma.

This picture is definitely not one of Shelly's PRETTIEST moments, but it IS one of her TOUGHEST ones. Way to go Shelly, I'm proud of you! And I'm proud of Archer for his patience with the whole situation. And though I did freak out a little bit, I managed to get us all to the hospital safely to see the doctor, so I'm proud of myself too.

(By the way, if you want the gory details... the cut is about an inch long and its deep. They said its a good cut because its so straight, so its easy to fix. You can see there's also another scrape going the other direction from the cut, and some skin missing. She has a serious bruise on the inside of her lip and a small one on the corner of her mouth. A couple of different people checked to make sure she hadn't bit all the way through her lip, that's how deep the cut is. When we got to the hospital she and I were both covered with a good amount of blood, including my shirt, her hands, her shirt and coat, her bottle... But we survived, thank the Lord! And, one more thing - her teeth are fine! Thank the Lord again!)

For I hold you by your right hand— I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you'. ~ Isaiah 41:13, NLT

I don't have words for it but he was here for me, even when I didn't know what I needed. He kept me calm enough to drive safely, he steadied the doctor's hand as he stitched up the cut, he gave Shelly peace so she wasn't fearful or in pain. Amazing, God is truly wonderful.

Quick to Listen

Archer rushes so quickly into anger sometimes that I have no idea where it comes from - its like a bolt of lightening that flashes out of the sky with no warning and sets the house on fire. Partly this is the nature of childhood - he's a kid, he's overly dramatic. But I have to wonder if I've been a good example in this regard. Do I actually stop and count to ten before losing my cool? Not as often as I should. And here is the problem, the reason why I don't count to ten and the thing I should really try to remember. When I come home from work all I want is some down time. I'm tired and I've used up all my patience at work. So when I get home, I don't have any more patience, energy, whatever to give to my kids. And right at that moment is when they demand the most of me. They hang on me, cry at me, demand attention and food and you name it. See the problem with this picture? I have an attitude of limited patience and attention. There is no reason why I should think my patience is all used up, or my attention, or my love. Don't these things fall into the category of "the more you give the more you receive"? I'm so focused on myself when I get home that I forget that my kids haven't been anywhere all day. Of course they want my attention, there are a very limited number of people in their daily lives and they want to hear from them. Of course they want to go for a walk, they don't get to leave the house every day like I do.

If I would just stop and think for a second, I'd remember why they need me and why I shouldn't be unhappy when they come to me with those needs. If I was quick to listen, I'd hear what they're trying to say, what they've been waiting all day to tell me. So this is the verse that's going on my refrigerator door to remind me to slow down, remind me that I don't need to speak first, remind me that its just important (sometimes MORE important) that I hear them as that they hear me.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. ~ James 1:19-20

Solid Ground

How often have I picked my kids up off the ground, brushed them off, and given them a little pat to send them on their way? A hundred? A thousand? When they're little its literal and physical, they fall down all the time. I bend down kiss them on the head, tell them everything is ok, and they believe me. The continue on. They count on me to be there to pick them up. As they get older its not always so literal, but I know they're still counting on me. And I want them to know they can always count on me, I'll always be here, no mater what the stumbling block is.

This has made me realize the support that I have around me. As adults, we're not alone, independent, walking on the path without anyone to steady us when things get uneven, rocky, or steep. There are so many people that I turn to for help - for the little things, little puddles I'm trying to jump over, and also the big things, steep hills that I'm trying to climb without falling backwards. I hope that as Archer and Shelly grow, they learn to be independent and responsible, but also realize that asking for help is ok. And that even when they don't ask for help, they are being looked after, and supported, and steadied.

...He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. ~ Psalm 40:2

(Above painting is from this blog http://stevemitchelldesign.com/WordPress/?p=18 )

Leader of the Pack

I saw something today... Archer was watching tv and Shelly was making little singing noises. "Ooo! Aahh! Ooo! Aahh!" I walked to where I could see them and saw Archer with his hand over his ear, sitting quietly and Shelly was gently touching his head, poking him gently as she said "oohh aahh!" He ignored her, and she kept doing it. I wonder how often this kind of thing happens and I don't notice - she does something that could be incredibly annoying, he tolerates it. I usually intervene when Archer starts to whine and Shelly's really bugging him. I tell him he needs to be more patient and understanding. What I don't see is all the times that he IS patient and understanding. He tolerates a lot from her. He isn't the only kid in the family any more. And he compensates for this by insisting on being the leader, pushing his way through the door before anyone else, running ahead in the woods, insisting on going out this door and not that one. While part of me has to insist that we do things my way and not his, another part of me really needs to remember - he's coping with people that are older than him always telling him what to do, and someone that's younger than him constantly invading his space and taking stuff away from him. For all that, I think he's doing pretty well!

Mud, Anyone?

I took the kids to Cliffside Park and before we even got started... Archer ran through a puddle. Not just any puddle, one that was about two feet deep and he was drenched up to his knees. We weren't going to let that slow us down, though! In fact, I had to resign myself that he was going to walk through every mud puddle we passed. Its what kids do, why fight it? That's what the washing machine is for.

By the end of the walk, Archer was up for more playground time but Shelly and I were too tired to go any further. Both kids were asleep in the car within five minutes of leaving, perfect!

Don't forget to check the link for more pictures...

http://archerandshellypics.blogspot.com/