10/8
Its been hard to write lately, so much crazy stuff is going on and time is flying by like a big blur outside the window, my foot on the gas pedal without any way to slow down. A little like the movie Speed, if the bus slows down everything will blow up. Work is so hard lately, a four person operation down to two people with experience and one picking up experience quickly, sucked into working with us because he wants to help and doesn't want to see his daughter and son-in-law drowning, or suffocating, or whatever, under the work load. Thanks Dad. We really couldn't do it without you. But still, its so hard, and the family/work balance has been even more precarious. Its easy enough to say family is more important, let the work go and go home, but that's not so easy when for every minute earlier I leave, I know my husband will have to stay that much longer. So do I stay at the office and help him finish, then we both come home fairly late, see our kids just in time to put them to bed? Or do I leave earlier, knowing he'll have to stay much later because he's on his own, and I probably won't even see him come home because I'll already be in bed. Mostly I just hope to see him on the weekend, when maybe the highlight will be going grocery shopping together. Or spending five minutes on the couch together before one of the kids comes along to climb between. I really could not have guessed how much kids come between their parents. And I'm not saying this because I'm unhappy with my kids, I just really had no idea. Parenthood is supposed to be about putting up a united front to the kids, and childhood aparently is all about testing and pushing and trying to break down that alliance between the parents. A different, more subtle, war zone, I guess.
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