In Defense of Junk Food (or The Case Against Vegetables)

Junk food is full of preservatives, and sealed in plastic, and has an expiration date.
Vegetables is not full of preservatives, has to be refrigerated, goes bad more quickly and is more likely to grow mold or attract bugs or whatever.

Junk food usually doesn't make you sick when its old, it just tastes stale.
Vegetables will make you sick when they get old. Plus they get mushy and smelly.

Junk food doesn't depend on temperature, its ok if its cold, its ok if its hot, it doesn't care. It might not taste as good, but it doesn't usually get ruined by temperature variations (except for chocolate, which gets all melty, but that's just messy, not bad for you).
Vegetables are temperature sensitive, they don't like really cold weather, and especially don't like hot weather.

Junk food is more available (vending machines, gas stations on every corner, Walgreens on every other corner).
Vegetables are harder to find (you have to go all the way to the grocery store, or even worse, a farmer's market, or even WORSE grow them yourself!).

Junk food is more single-serving ready, and easier to transport, its always packaged ready to go.
Vegetables have to be washed, cut up, put in a container, sealed, and then maybe they're ready to go.

Junk food tastes good as is, no more added stuff necessary.
Vegetables only taste good if you add stuff, like dressing or dip, or if you fry them or add cheese.

The mom porcupine in Over the Hedge said it best "Anything that tastes this good CAN'T be bad for you!"

PS I know writing this is going to come back to haunt me in a couple of years when Archer and Shelly are old enough to read...