Crowds

I don't seriously study the bible like I probably should. Right now I'm reading through it, sometimes pausing to think more on what I just read, or thinking it through for a few days, but I wouldn't call it study. I don't know much. But here we are, reading as a family before bedtime, and I find that I don't need to be a scholar to have meaningful conversations with my kids about what it meant when Jesus fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Each little detail is a moment to pause and discuss.

"A great crowd of people followed him..." Because what would YOU do if you heard about a guy going around healing sick people? Wouldn't you want to see for yourself? Is it really true, all the hype about this carpenter that's performing miracles? I wonder what he'll do next!

We talked about the disciples' hearts, that they were thinking with an earthly mindset when Jesus asked them, "Where should we buy bread..." Perhaps Philip couldn't believe Jesus thought they should try to feed this great crowd.

As we talked through the story and discovered how many lessons were there, I realized that the bible can be studied by experts for a lifetime. These experts can write volumes of commentary and explanation and historical context. But the five of us, our little crowd sitting on the couch in the evening, we can get something from it too. We don't have to be experts. We just have to be willing to open it up and take a look, and get ready to listen to God speaking His word into our lives.

Summer Has Arrived

And I know this because...

The smell, the sweaty sunscreen and dirt-in-your hair smell.

The sound of doors slamming over and over as the kids run in and out, barefooted, a zillion times a day.

The skinned knees. All three kids have earned their Summer badges, most notably the ones on their knees. Various injuries from bike riding, scooters and falling down when they're just plain walking.

Welcome, Summer, we're so glad you're here!

Family Math

3 hungry workers + 1 coke + 10 hotdogs + a bowl full of ketchup =
full tummies and restored energy in 5 minutes flat

2 hands + 2 temporary tattoos + too much sunshine - the tattoos during bathtime =
heart shaped tan lines

3 kids + 2 grandparents + a bumch of bikes and 1 stroller - naptime =
3 kids who will go to bed early and sleep well tonight!

6 cubic yards of dirt + countless shovels, rakes & bare feet =
lots and lots of laundry!

Little Weeds

We have been doing a LOT of yard work over the last couple of weeks.Add to that the months of discussion on what we're going to plant and where. And you might think that we're actual serious gardeners or something. We ordered plants and seeds from catalogs. We rented a sod cutter and ripped up half our yard. We ordered two truckloads of dirt, had it dumped in our driveway and spent two whole days distributing it around our newly created garden beds. We're still not even close to done.

In all of this, the kids have been some help, but just a lot of mess. Dirt everywhere, of course. Its all great fun.

The other night I started talking to Archer about our garden, about how carefully we prepare the soil before planting anything new. We went into great detail about getting rid of the weeds, putting in new dirt, carefully planting the new stuff and then watering like crazy. I told him about the problem I'm already seeing - for every one flower there are twenty little weed sprouts. We talked about what would happen if we just left the weeds, they'd be harder to pull out and they'd crowd out the flowers.

Eventually we got to the point of the whole thing - the weeds, but not the ones in the gardens outside. The little seeds of frustration that get planted in our hearts, and how they start to grow. And what feeds them. I explained that every time he stomps his foot in anger, or shouts at someone, or kicks or hits or slams a door, its like watering those little weed sprouts. Giving them fertilizer and sunlight and just letting them grow and grow. We talked about how those seeds get planted, how they start to grow and when we should pluck them out and throw them away. The very second we realize we're feeling frustrated we have to stop watering those little seedlings and instead pluck them out, and throw them far away. I told him I don't want his beautiful flowers of love and kindness to be crowded out by all those ugly weeds. And somehow, this idea took hold and started to grow.

For the last couple of days, he's been bringing it up, the idea of throwing away the weeds that sprout up. He's given me a couple of examples of how he's doing it, and he even has a gesture that goes along with this idea, tossing something away. Somehow, that physical, visual, hard-work example of what we're doing on the outside of our house has become a metaphor for what we all face every single day in our own hearts. The choice to sow seeds that will produce beautiful flowers and delicious vegetables, or to allow the winds of chance to sow seeds of frustration, anger, and all other kinds of unwanted sin. They get it, they've grabbed hold of the idea and I pray that we'll each find ways to work together in harvesting God's fruits in our lives, and casting out everything else.

Gearing Up, Counting Down

We're making a list, checking it twice or more, and getting ready for Summer Vacation. Once again, there's way too much on the list to have any hope of accomplishing it all. But we're counting down till Summer starts, and then we'll see how much we can cram in. You'd better rest up now, because there will be no time for that later!

(I found this fun passport template here)

P.S. Archer has already asked me if we can make these again next summer. Must be pretty good if we haven't even gotten started yet and he's planning for next year!

Five Minute Friday: Perspective

At the end of the day, when the outside has been washed off their faces and feet, when their cheeks are rosy with sunshine, when they come back to report on all the day's adventures.

At the end of the day, when I have them back in my arms, I try to remember - this is just the beginning.

The foundation. The groundwork. The preparation for greater things yet to come.

Few people, when admiring a mighty castle, stop to admire the basement, or the careful planning and placement of that first layer of stones. But without those first careful steps, the castle would have fallen long ago. Or the walls would never have been built to such great heights.

This is just the beginning. One year, five years, eight years, so many more glorious years yet to come.

(Linking up with TheGypsyMama)

Close to My Heart

Picture Credit

Tonight Shelly came in to me after a little while in bed and told me she was scared. We have a deal, if she stays in bed all night then I pick her up from school the next day, and she doesn't have to ride the bus. This has been working fairly well. Tonight her fear won out and she came to hang out on the couch in my bedroom. When I asked her if she was ready for bed, she climbed into my bed. "I just feel like laying with you for a little while." I laid down next to her, she put her arm around me. She rolled onto her back and held my hand. She rolled to her other side and played with the corner of a pillow case.

Will she remember this, later? This peaceful moment of peeking our eyes open to smile at each other, then closing our eyes again to pretend we're sleeping? Later, when she thinks I don't understand anything, will she remember that at one time I was one of her favorite people to talk to? Will she realize, somewhere in the future, that when she tells me what's going on and I give her advice, its because my perspective is so much broader than hers? Will she accept it? Or will she throw up her hands and turn away, to find a friend who will moan with her over whatever problem she's facing that day? Will we still connect? Oh I pray we will. I pray she and I will be close friends. And with that will come ups and downs, as any relationship has. But I pray that in all the teaching and training I'm doing, I don't forget that this life is blossoming and growing before my eyes, and what joy it will be to hold her close to my heart for as long as the Lord allows.

Blessings Every Day

Some days I wish I could have the kids clean the kitchen floor Pippi Longstocking Style, with brushes attached to their feet and skating around in joy.

Some days I wish that I didn't have a little helper unfolding the laundry as fast as I fold it.

Some days the laundry and dishes pile up to seemingly insurmountable heights.

Every day, I'm glad to have my little helpers at my elbows, tossing laundry into the washing machine or dryer for me, dropping crumbs faster than I can sweep them up, and trying so hard to learn to do what I do. Trying to just be close.

Shelly sometimes follows behind me like a shadow while she waits for me to finish a task before I help her with something. I saw Eli grabbing her shirt and pulling her backwards as fast as his chubby little legs would let him walk back. Then pushing her forward again with all his might.

Archer's gotten into the habit of freeing Elijah from his crib in the morning, allowing E to roam in to me so I don't have to go retrieve him myself, I can stay in my comfy warm bed and just snuggle the baby in with me when he arrives.

These children of mine, these beautiful little chaos makers, destroyers of organized closets, these precious little students who work so hard to learn each and every thing that happens around them, these amazing miracles in my life. I can hardly finish being frustrated about the new mess before I turn back to God thanking him for what countless blessings he has showered upon me. I surely do not deserve any of it. And yet, in his grace, he shares more.

Post Its

My kids love post it notes, they routinely steal them off my desk and I find them in odd places later on. Sometimes with little notes, sometimes just scribbles. Today I found electronic post its all over my computer desktop, I came to my desk and saw on my screen a dozen square notes scattered about. A few had some typing, and I can see that Shelly is well on her way to becoming a proficient typist, just like her Grandma!

My Love Grows

Shelly made this card for me but I find its true for me, with my love for my family.

My love for them grows and grows!

Five Minute Friday: Identity

(For an explanation of the writing prompt, click here)

Today I find my identity in two roles - wife and mother. They define me. I feel like right now, this moment in my life, is what I was MADE for. The problem is that this moment is fleeting, the little ones are growing quickly and in the not too distant future I'll be the mother of kids who need me less and less. I remind myself of this often. And then I remind myself, "God has other things for you too, not just this." Not just "mom of young children," but "mom of teens" and so on. It's hard to imagine. That's ok. I know whatever it is that God has for me, I'll take it and THAT will be exactly what I was made for, THAT moment, that role, that season of life.

For now my identity is in changing diapers, helping kids navigate through school and life, and keeping our home running. For now my identity is wife, help meet to my wonderful husband. I pray that it continues but I know it won't look the same 10 or 20 years from now. Or 1 year from now. So I revel in my identity today, and wait for my identity that is yet to come.

What I Sometimes Hate...

... is at the end of a long day, when I'm exhausted and all I can think about is bed and THAT'S when all three of my kids have to be ON TOP of me. Touching me. Climbing on me, fighting for space on my lap. Playing with my hair and giving me a zillion kisses (and sometimes licks instead).

Sometimes, I get really annoyed with all that physical contact. Just give me some space!

But ALWAYS, I love being close to my kids. I love that they want to be with me. I love that they give me unending hugs and kisses. I love that Archer likes to unbraid my hair, and Shelly likes to kiss my cheeks and Eli just wants to be there, his little spot in the middle of the pile. Last night I thought to myself, I'm in a real pile. Like in the move Where the Wild Things Are. Where all the monsters, plus Max, all sept in what they called a Real Pile. A pile of love and companionship and security. And I get to have that in real life. Our Real Family Pile.

What We Say

I didn't think ahead of time of the phrases I'd say over and over, the "life lessons" I'd try to instill by constant repetition. They snuck up on me, these things I say.

"In our family, we don't give up."
"We help each other. Everyone does their part."
"We take care of each other, if someone gets hurt go help them."

Sometimes I'm not even sure who came up with it originally. David? Me? Who knows. It sounded good at the time so we just kept saying it. Its funny how we didn't plan it out, "What are our values? What do we want to pass on to our kids?" It just sort of happens. Along with the other stuff, the stuff we say to manage the family.

"Read two stories, brush your teeth, go to bed. Don't complain about it."
"No candy, no toys, no crying."
"If you fight over it/don't put it away/throw it, it will disappear forever."
"You can turn it around now. Take a deep breath, let's get it together."

What do I say to intentionally teach my children? I'm realizing there's more in the bible for this whole parenting thing than I had realized before. I tell my children, "don't tattle on each other." But Jesus tells us what to do about your brother that's causing trouble. (Matthew 18:15-17) And then there's the whole thing about keeping track of how much stuff she got, compared to what I got. (Remember the lesson about the workers in the vineyard?) What else is there? What else is God going to reveal to me? I can not WAIT to find out!

Perseverance

I love how every time we open up the Bible it has something relevant for THIS moment. I asked Archer if he wanted to hear Old Testament or New Testament. He picked new, so we read from 2 Peter...

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;   and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
~ 2 Peter 1:5-7

We talked about each of those characteristics. What is knowledge? How do we gain knowledge? (Shelly asked, what does "gain" mean?)

We used Elijah as an example to talk about self-control - he has none. When Mom and Dad impose rules its to help you learn to control yourselves, not so we can control you. What if everyone acted like Elijah?

We spent a lot of time on perseverance. As we talked, I realized this was not just for the kids. It was for me too. Perseverance. Let's finish strong, no matter how hard the job. We talked about homework and eight months of homework... And one month left. "What are we going to do, Archer?" Persevere! Finish strong! Archer grumbles about homework a LOT. But I realize I've been grumbling about homework a LOT too, just not within earshot of Archer. I'm sick of homework. But we're going to finish strong. Persevere. And pray for a change of heart, that we would remember who we're really working for.

Whatever you do, work at it ith all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
~ Colossians 3:23-24

Blogs vs. Bible

Galatians 5:17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.

I read other mom's blogs, people with advice, with systems for raising perfect kids, ways to motivate, train, encourage, discipline, teach kids to be what you want them to be. I catch myself thinking they have all the answers, if I read enough I'll get this motherhood thing figured out. Guess what? I'm sure they really don't have it all figured out, their kids can't be that different than mine, right? We each have our struggles. So I need to lay that down, put it all in its place (advice or encouragement, but that's it), and pick up God's word, the Father who wants to teach me how to get through motherhood, how to make it work, how to make it a wonderful and amazing journey for our family. Come on in, Lord, and show us how it's done! Please!

Archer's Eight

I figured out today that we will have children in elementary school until 2022. It seems like an eternity away - ten years from now? Ten years from now we'll be ending the school year with Elijah finishing up fifth grade, Shelly will be 15 and Archer will be 18. WHAT??

I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. It feels like forever, to think that E won't be out of elementary school till 2022, but it feels way too close when I think of Archer turning 18.

David and I spent some time today thinking back on what our lives were like eight years ago, when we brought Archer home from the hospital. David said he wishes the time hadn't passed so quickly. I think back on that time, the new-baby, young family time and it seems not quite right. We didn't know it then, but I can see it now, we weren't where we were supposed to be. We weren't finished yet. That time of working away from him, cherishing him but not knowing him yet (who will he BE?), it was good but not complete. Our family was still waiting on the rest of its members. His personality and character have blossomed and grown over the last eight years, while David and I have grown as people, learned lots of lessons on parenting and more lessons on relationships.

I am so proud of this boy who seems inexplicably taller each day, who loves school, scouts, and bike riding, who takes care of his brother without prompting and gets a little frustrated with his sister but loves teaching her whenever he can. We had NO IDEA what we were in for when we decided to embark on the parenting adventure. I'm so glad its turned out a million times better than I ever could have imagined! God is so good!

Quotes

Shelly, after some time at the playground, stopped on the sidewalk as we were walking back to the car. "I'm just tired of these chipmunks in my shoes!" I tried not to laugh as she took her shoes off and dumped out the woodchips.

As I struggled to get E into his seat and then get Shelly's seatbelt buckled, I mumbled to myself, "We need a professional to get this thing buckled."
"Yeah," Archer said, "We need a mom." Oh, I guess I'm the professional!

Five Minute Friday: Real

(For an explanation of the writing prompt, click here)

Real is your kids keeping you accountable to what you said before, because they'll never forget that you said some made-up rule and now you're not following your own rule. "We only eat broccoli on the third Tuesday of the month because that's when its on sale at the grocery store." (Not, "because I HATE broccoli.") "But MOM, this is only the SECOND Tuesday of the month! The broccoli is early!"

Real is trying to explain to your kids that we're all still working on being better people...

Real is feeling like I'd rather sit in the car by myself for the next 15 minutes while I wait for the Cub Scout meeting to finish up, but dragging myself out of the car to go watch the wild game of dodgeball in the parking lot. And then being really glad that I DID go out there, because Archer was thrilled to have an audience. And a neighbor came over to chat with me about our kids. Her kids are all grown up now, she had three boys and three girls. She's outlived two husbands. And at 84, she's hoping she's got a few more years to enjoy her family.

Real is the real-life moments that happen only when you put yourself out there, when you allow them in, and realize that the quiet solitude might not be worth it, if you miss out on all those other moments.

Real is blurry pictures, messy clothes and food on faces, sticky hands and french fries everywhere. Real is all-out temper tantrums followed by those sticky hands on your face or arms wrapped around your neck in the biggest baby hug ever. Dirty feet that should have been washed yesterday, covered up with clean white socks that will stay that way only for moments before they're black, because who has time to put on shoes before running out the door?

Quiet

At a recent meeting, the Mops leadership team discussed the story of Jesus meeting the woman at the well. There are so many cultural and historical details that fill out this story and make it even more remarkable. But the point that's stuck with me from the conversation this morning was, "What was the woman thirsty for?" Not just water. Living water, the water of life, Jesus. The follow up question, "What are YOU thirsty for?" And the conversation turned to "quiet." We, as wives and mothers of small children, are so thirsty for quiet. Quiet time with God. Peace in our homes. Silence? What is that? Quiet time to pray, read the Bible, reflect on God in our lives? When does that ever happen? It was something we could all relate to - the chaos and noise of small children can crowd out quiet time with God.

I reflected on that through the rest of my day. I got Shelly off to school, Elijah in his bed for a nap, and sat down to do some work. I turned the tv on to entertain me while I worked. And I wondered why I allowed the tv to steal my quiet.

There are so many times throughout the day when I find myself wishing I could somehow shut out the noise. And there are moments hidden where I so easily give away my peace and fill it with other noise. No more. I'll seek out that quiet, fill it with prayer and fill up on God's word.