Five or Less

Yesterday Shelly told me that her limit is five. "When I have kids some day, I think I want five. Or less. Maybe one." We talked about why our family has three. Today, when I was changing a particularly bad diaper, Shelly said, "If its going to be really gross then only one. Or maybe two. But if its really gross then only one." She was thinking about how many diapers she'd have to change if she had five!

I so badly wanted to explain to her that the diapers ARE gross, but the other parts are SO GOOD that they far outweigh the diaper problem. Holding that little person in your arms, teaching him about the world, watching his eyes light up as he learns something new every day, conversations and games together, relationships that continue to grow as we spend days and weeks and years together.

We have so many sweet talks together, I love spending that time with her and finding out what's going on in her heart and her imagination. I'm really missing this with Archer. He's at school all day, I have no time with him. When he gets home in the afternoon he doesn't want to sit around talking to me, he wants to play, unwind from school and share his stories with his sister. He has homework. We have to make supper, take a shower, get ready for bed, that's it. Day is gone and I've hardly had a chance to connect with him.

Tonight while Shelly is at Awana I'm going to tell Archer he can choose what we do. Usually we do grocery shopping. Or laundry. Yuck. Tonight, Archer's choice. I can't wait to see what he decides!

Story To Be Continued...

History

Today when Shelly got off the bus she complained that her legs hurt from sitting so long. On the bus? "No, we had a assembly." I asked what they talked about and she said Black History. Oh, what does that mean? "I don't really know. Famous people?" I asked her if the famous people were black, trying to connect the dots for her, but she didn't know. She had no idea what Black History even meant. So I explained to her "black skin" and "white skin" and she named some kids from her class with those colors skin. Yeah, I told her, but we don't call them that, we don't say to them that they're black. She shared with me the song she sang in the assembly, a song about "Martin Lufer King." That's right, she says "Lufer." And its the cutest thing ever!

I think its great that Shelly is learning about important people in our country's history, but it got me wondering if we really should be segregating our history that way. Didn't black Americans fight for equality, for NOT being segregated? Why are we still doing that today? Why are we teaching it to our children? Through "celebrating" a group's history, are we perpetuating segregation, or even the idea of describing someone by their skin color? Shelly doesn't think about skin color when she's learning about these "famous people" at school. In order for her to understand the point of the assembly I had to teach her to look at people's skin color before looking at who they really are. That makes no sense to me.

On another note, a few weeks ago Archer brought home a Jump Rope for Heart fundraiser form. When I asked him what it was for, what it meant, he had no idea. First we discussed "fundraiser." Asking people to give you money. Then we discussed the current cause, Jump Rope for Heart. So what are we raising money for, Archer? "I don't know, sick people?" What kind of sick people? What's wrong with them? "Um, like breast cancer maybe?"

Really. I think for the most part the schools my kids go to are doing a great job, they're learning to read, learning math, learning to get along with others. But there are some places where they're completely missing the boat. The fundraiser went into the garbage with all the other junk mail (don't worry, there'll be another group asking for my money next week), and the lesson about noticing people's skin color before their achievements has also been passed along. A mom attempting to fill the educational gap. And somehow, I don't feel so comfortable in that role.

Adventures in the Back Forty

There's this wild, unexplored place that we visit sometimes, someone I know refers to this place as The Back Forty. Today, Archer went outside armed only with a long rope and we were entertained by watching him throw it over a tree branch, secure it on another branch, and then swing off that rope, take turns with his sister, get bored with that and start tying up other trees... Well, I digress. The Back Forty is calling.

He left the rope and disappeared for awhile. A long while. I started thinking about the recent news story about the kids that had been approached by a stranger but knew enough to run away. I assured myself that Archer hadn't gone anywhere near the road, or strangers, he was... in The Back Forty. A place filled with a secret fort, brush to be cleared in forging new trails, and treasures to be discovered. He finally appeared again, beckoning me to come outside. He needed to show me something. I really didn't think there could be anything he could show me that would be new. I lived just steps away from The Back Forty for 18 years of my life. I spent a lot of time in the secret fort. I INVENTED the secret fort (along with a couple of other conspirators). Sigh, what could Archer possibly think is so great?

He showed me a little place, he called it a clearing, and when I tried to stand up straight instead of bending over inside the "clearing" the branches got stuck in my hair. I pointed this out to him and he told me to stand right over HERE and there was a tiny little spot where I could stand up stright with no twigs in my hair. With my growing-up son in front of me, full of pride and discovery, it somehow looked new. A brand new place to explore and share with each other.

Handwriting Practice

David gave Archer a standing homework assignment: Every Friday, write three sentences about his day. This is to practice his handwriting.

I had the idea to keep it in a notebook, it could be like a diary or journal that we could pull out many years from now and enjoy looking through together. But then, the paper sat on the fridge for a few days, and the counter for a few more days, and I came to my senses (I'm just NOT good about keeping scrapbooks or journals). So here it is, for the world to see. Archer's handwriting practice. On a little scrap of paper...

Happy Valentines Day

Cub Scouts

On Friday Archer earned his Wolf Scout badge. I have to admit that when Archer wanted to join scouts I wasn't too excited. We DID give him the choice between Awana (at church) and Scouts (at a different church), so when he chose scouts we had to follow through with it. But its on a different night than Awana (Shelly's program) and a different place. So instead of one night of taxi driving, I have two. And scouts requires more parent involvement. And it costs more. Do you like my complaining?

It turns out that scouts is SO GOOD! Archer loves it, he's proud of his accomplishments, he's learning a lot of really great things (how to use hand tools, how to take care of himself and stay clean and healthy, how to be a responsible citizen... the list of greatness goes on). I sort of groan inwardly once a month when I have to stay for the Pack meetings, Awana never makes the parents stay. I dislike the $2 dues every week, but Archer's taken that on and earns money so he can pay his own way. And on Friday they had the Blue and Gold Banquet where we all brought a dish and enjoyed some awesome food together. Archer earned his Wolf badge which was a LOT of work for our entire family, but SO worth it. I am so proud of him. And we had a great time at the banquet. One of my favorite parts was the prayer before the meal. Ok, Scouts is not supposed to be exclusively Christian, but I was happily surprised when the leader PRAYED before our meal, and not some generic, "We're thankful for our food..." he actually said "Father... In Jesus Name, Amen." LOVE THAT!

In addition to Archer earning his award, I was so proud of Arch and Shell as they quietly listened to what each of the leaders said about their dens and what the other boys had accomplished. They were so attentive. Elijah wasn't, but that was ok, he was still quiet. And he entertained the little section of moms and grandmas around us, making the rounds giving hugs first just to me, then to a grandma nearby, then another mom, just back and forth. He was so precious.

Guess what? My kids make me so proud. Despite my attempts to completley ruin them, despite being ME short tempered and selfish, they are generous and usually patient with each other and those around them. These three little people are truly a joy to be around. I really wish I could just bottle up the memories and feelings I have from that evening with my family and keep them forever. I guess that's why I write instead. Thanks for listening to my proud ramblings...

His Weapon of Choice

Now that E can walk and use signs to tell us what he wants and play with his brother and sister, things are starting to get really interesting.

I heard a lot of screaming and laughing (as usual) and running around, there was a lot of "He's going to get us!!" coming from Arch and Shell. I finally investigated, to find that Elijah was chasing the other two with a dangerous weapon. To be avoided at all costs. He had... the TOILET BRUSH. SO GROSS!!!

I proclaimed that they needed to take those kinds of things AWAY from the baby, they cried that they HAD tried but COULDN'T, and so they just ran away.

I REALLY thought when he was born that he'd have to learn to be tough to survive the rough play of his older siblings. I'm learning its the other way around. He often injures them. They'd better toughen up, sharpen those reflexes and learn to stay out of his path. He hits (with his hands and any weapon close by), he throws (really hard), he bites, he head-butts. Look out world, you'd better toughen up, because ELIJAH is here to stay!

Email to Dad

While waiting for the bus one day, Shelly wrote David an email...

-----Original Message-----

From: Amy Fortier

To: David Fortier
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 12:20 PM

Subject: From shelly

This is shelly i miss you

 
 
-----Reply Message-----

From: David Fortier
To: Amy Fortier
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 4:33 PM

Subject: RE: From shelly
To Shelly,

I miss you too.

Marker Fun

Dray erase marker in the hands of a very small child, could have been a very big problem.


Fortunately, he only colored 2 things.
1. His left hand.
2. The sliding door window.

Both easily washed off. Did I mention that when I found him playing quietly on his own, he took one look at me, then made a surprised face, his mouth in a big open "O!" and his hand over his mouth? Hard to be mad at a cutie like that!

Love Those Boys!

Right now I'm listening to Archer in the other room, running around doing some sort of Super Spy Sharp Shooter game and Elijah squealing and laughing at Archer's antics. I love it. Love love love my boys, love hearing them playing together, love considering that they'll be lifelong friends.

K is for King

Shelly drew this in Sunday School when they learned about Kind King David, and the letter K