Art

I don't have much to say lately, so I'll share some artwork. That's worth more than 1,000 words from me, right?

This one has been on our fridge since Christmas.
Shelly captured the scene quite nicely, don't you think?

Archer wrote a sweet poem for his sister on her birthday
(completely on his own, no prompting from anyone else)

And finally, Archer's self portrait

Sweet Shelly Anna



photo by Denise

 Sweet little Shelly Pie (yes I call her that, yes she hates it), today my little girl is five. I am continually amazed by her thoughtfulness, her generosity. Of course she argues with her brother over toys, of course she argues and wants to get her way, she sometimes is unbearably dramatic when things don't go the way she'd like. But there's this too sweet little side to her, a side that amazes me and makes me so profoundly grateful that I get to have her in my life.

Today we were grocery shopping and as we came to the end of an aisle, she turned to look at something hanging right at eye level. "What is that?" Pez. Two dozen different kinds of Pez Dispensers, all right there staring us in the face. I explained what it was, she seemed satisfied. She didn't ask, she didn't say, "I wish I could have that," nothing. I stood there a moment longer, and then said to her, "You know, you've been so good in the store. Its your birthday. Do you want one?" Her face lit up, she carefully considered the options, and chose a Princess Pez. "Ok great, let's go," but she stopped me. "Mom? Do you think maybe Archer would like one?" Of course we then had to pick out another, which Shelly clung to for the rest of the shopping trip, the entire way home, and though the door, until she could open up her package, load the candy, and test it out.

When we got home, Shelly couldn't help but continually tell me how excited she was to open her presents. She stood in front of the stack of gifts on the counter, touching the paper, telling me again and again that she just couldn't wait. I finally told her that its exciting that its her birthday, and we're happy for her, but no one else is getting any presents so its not nice to keep talking about her own presents. Well, the seed was planted. She took Archer's Pez Dispenser and wrapped it up as a gift. She took some extra Pez candy and put it in a little box, and asked me to put a bow on top, this is Dad's gift. She told me I could share Dad's gift, and wrapped up something else for E. On her birthday, giving.

When I asked her what she wanted for supper she said Chinese, and when I asked her what she wanted to order she said, "Two packs of crab rangoons." (Because one is never enough anymore.) "I know other people like egg rolls," she told me. But you don't like them, Shelly, you want me to order them?" "What, I know other people like egg rolls in this family." And there it is, she keeps thinking about what other people want. At the end of her food order she mentioned fortune cookies, and wanted to make sure there would be enough for all of us. Probably because she didn't want to share :)

My sweet sweet not-so-little Shelly Bell. I tried to forbid her from getting older, told her she wasn't allowed, she got so serious with me and said, "I can't stop it! Its just going to happen!" and I had to laugh and give her a big hug. I told her today that even though I didn't want her to get older, I was so proud of her, my Five Year Old big girl. And I thank God for her in our family, we wouldn't be complete without her.

Archer grandly presenting the cake to his sister

Elijah patienty waiting for his piece

Other Stuff

I've been too busy (story of my life, everyone's lives, probably) and haven't been writing much, or even thinking about writing here. We're running along, trying to accomplish everything listed on the calendar for the week and not have too many meltdowns along the way. Shelly was really sick yesterday but today is better, we're on the road to recovery. E somehow didn't catch whatever Shell has (but he recently had roseola, yuck), and Arch is sneezing up a storm but he seems to ALWAYS have a runny nose.

There was talk of homework over the weekend and I silently begged the teacher, in my mind, wishing she could hear my thoughts, "Can't we have a break on the weekend? Isn't the homework every day during the week enough?" No homework this weekend. Of course, if there's homework, we'll do it, I'll tell Archer that's his job and I'll support his teacher. But I'd really like her to not put us through that. Shelly will attend her first birthday party for a friend tomorrow, and poor David is the one who has to take her, as Arch and I will be at a run. "You know I'll be the only dad there," he said to me when I explained the conflict in schedules. "I'm sorry." I couldn't say anything else. She wants to go so badly, I had a different obligation to the other kid in the family, it is what it is. And E will go along to the girl party with David, but then again he doesn't know the difference, I'm sure he'll have fun.

Eli loves to help us, but of course to him its just copying, not working. He sets the table with the other two kids, even if its already set. He goes back and forth, grabbing another plate, another cup, until the cupboard is empty and the table overflowing. He does this with dishes out of the dishwasher as well, it all goes to the table. He pushes laundry into the dryer for me if I set it on the open door. Yesterday I gave him an empty ice cream bucket and he took it to the closet where I store the buckets and left it there. Of course, he pulls out my work papers and leaves them strewn across the floor, if the kids put E's toys in the basket he immediately takes them out and puts them carefully under the couch, and often reaches into the garbage to pull out sticky wrappers and dump them on the floor. But he's trying. Trying to fit into the puzzle of our family, trying to grow up, trying to be more like his brother and sister. And its so much fun to see how a one year old works out all of the details of fitting in.

The Future

This picture makes me marvel that these three beautiful creations will ever be adults with families of their own. And at the same time, I see that they're growing up right before my eyes, a magical transformation that marches ever forward towards adulthood.

Last night as we all sat around the table enjoying party snacks we talked about what 2012 will bring. Archer will become a third grader, Shelly a kindergardener, and E... well he'll become a two year old, eventually. We talked about our plans, the kids mentioned "a LOT of swimming at Grandma and Grandpa's." One of my plans is to read through the entire bible in 2012, I pray the Lord helps me succeed in this venture. We talked about how we can make plans but ultimately its up to the Lord, we follow where he leads. Of course, the kids are still pretty sure we'll do a lot of swimming when summer comes in 2012.

When I was spending some time with Shelly in the kitchen, I thanked her profusely for being such a good helper. And we started talking about the original helper, Eve. God created Adam, but God saw that Adam was alone and it was not good. (Genesis 2:18) And so he created a helper, and Adam named her Eve, his new wife. We talked about the roles of husbands and wives, how wives are to be their husbands' helpers. And in this conversation I didn't just say, "wives should," or "God wants us to..." I told her, "Shelly, when you get married some day, you will be your husband's helper." I wonder what others might think, that I say these things as fact, I tell my children, "Archer, when you're a man and you have children of your own," or "Shelly, when you're married you'll need to know how to..." I also tell them they can have whatever jobs they want, I'm not trying to completely limit their options. But I'm conscious of the seeds I'm planting, the map I'm drawing, and I have an idea of where I'd like it to lead them. The world is a wide open place with many choices, do I really have to leave the door open to EVERY choice that's out there? No, certainly not. My own parents spent time planting the seeds that they thought would bear good fruit. And now I'm doing this same thing, with predictions that I speak as if they're already fact, with statements of what they'll want or need as they grow up.

In my planning for the upcoming year, I find myself caught up in the details, but also considering the result, many years from now, of the conversations I have with my children on a daily basis. I guess those conversations aren't so much about planning as preparing them for life after Mom and Dad's house, preparing their hearts to make choices down the road. One conversation at a time, and a million words later, I pray that they can easily say, "If the Lord wills," and not, "I will go my own way."

"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

~ James 4:13-15